How do mothers keep a job?

Fox

Wed, Sep 21 2016, 12:07 pm

I've worked for my DH in a family business for 17 years, and to echo what other posters have said, it's hard!

Along with all the other excellent suggestions, I would add these:

* If the type of work you do permits it, see if you can work from home at least one day each week. This will enable you to schedule deliveries, repairs, etc.

* Hire a babysitter for one late afternoon/evening each week. Use the time to take care of all the stupid errands that pile up, take care of shopping, etc. There's no greater luxury than being able to walk around the grocery store by yourself!

* Accept the fact that your current situation means that you'll probably give both your jobs short shrift at times. For people who are dedicated and responsible, this is very painful. It feels awful to do less than your best work either at your job or at home. Try to adjust that thinking to, "I'll do the best job I can do under my current constraints." It's hard but is ultimately healthier.

Hatzlacha, and feel free to PM me for more specific ideas. BTDT!

rachel6543

Wed, Sep 21 2016, 2:24 pm

I work full time. Only have one kid so far. It's definitely not easy working with kids. Luckily my current job and last job are somewhat flexible. I have the ability to flex my time and work from home if needed. So if my child is sick (or I'm sick) I can work from home to make up my hrs.

Also, when my kid is sick my husband and I will often split the day watching our kid so neither of us is missing the whole day of work. For instance I'll stay home and watch our kid until 11am; then at 11am my husband will come home and then I'll go to work for a few hrs in the afternoon. Otherwise we have sometimes been able to find a babysitter to watch our mildly sick kid. At my previous job, they had this amazing program that helped provide back-up care, but unfortunately don't have this benefit at my current job.

For dr and dentist appt's, those are often made for late afternoon after school (4:30 or 5pm), so I'm not missing work or my kid misses school.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Sep 21 2016, 2:58 pm

cbsp wrote:

I'm wondering if anyone following this thread has special needs (or outside the norm needs) kids.

There aren't enough hours to the day to schedule therapies etc outside of normal working hours. (The therapy place one kid goes to very helpfully has Saturday hours but not Friday or Sunday).

Additionally, what with working around yomim tovim and short Fridays, when a specialist says they have an opening Thursday at 11am in 3 or 4 months and there's no religious conflict I take the appointment. There's not much choice.

Tell me about it! I've been working part time for the past few years (at a place that let me sometimes do work-at-home or switch days) but I had to seriously cut my hours last year, and I'm not sure yet what's going to happen with this year. How to people do this?! The doctor we use (a developmental pediatrician) can do sick hours at other times, but the regular stuff is only 9 am - 5 pm (in all fairness to them , they did let me come once for a quick thing during the sick hours, even though it was for well visit stuff). Specialists can mean losing a day, because I've got to get there, then get him to school (of course those things are no where near each other, LOL) and then get home...sigh...before my night of homework, dinner, etc., starts.

The only thing I've found that helps as far as the therapy goes is we just don't do it outside of school. All services need to happen there, because otherwise I felt none of the other kids would get the attention they deserve - they'd just watch us shuffle their sibling around. Can you get someone else to take him (her?) to therapy?

I was hoping to start working full time next year, or at least three quarter time, but I'm realizing that it probably won't be possible. I'd have to get someone to watch him after school, and the program he's probably going to go to next year has shorter hours than his current one. Which means a sitter for a "special" kid, which means paying more money, not to mention worrying more...

But, no, I really don't know how people manage to do it "all". Maybe they just do one kind of life at a time, and then switch off???

amother

Ginger

Wed, Sep 21 2016, 10:17 pm

Most of the jobs Ive been looking at give about 3 weeks off, so that's 15 vacation days. I can't figure out what to do for all the random days the school has off. Teacher in service days, hool hamoed. Then the almost 3 month summer break....and no single camp covers this whole stretch

Who exactly do you hire to watch all your kids during these times? I don't know any teenagers who can handle all of them for 8 hrs a day...

HonesttoGod

Thu, Sep 22 2016, 12:19 pm

It is not easy.
We have to make do. I recently had to take off a lot of work. I am EXTREMELY lucky that my boss is a dad and totally understands that sometimes the situation is just inescapable.
He also knows that I try my hardest to make it work that I can be in the office.
I have also shown that I care by taking work home with me, working from home in the evenings, coming back to the office after my kids are asleep, coming in on Sundays etc.
In this way, I have made a little more leeway for myself that I can take off if needed. It is hard because then I have to catch up and work harder but at least my family is cared for.

I am also very very insistent that my dh and I both do 50/50 in taking off work if need be. And bh my dh has realized that it is a must and his boss gives him a bit of leeway too (not as much as my boss but again, some situations are inescapable).

Being a mom doesn't have to mean giving up on life. You just have to multi task and make it work. It is not easy though.