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Wants vs needs
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 7:49 pm
why not hire a babysitter five days a week for the pickup, homework, supper, bath hours? that would likely make a huge difference for you. if it isn't enough, get a live in.
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israelgirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 7:53 pm
I mean, if you can afford it why not have the extra help if it will make your life easier.

Honestly it sounds like you pretty much do what we all do every day-so to answer your original question-a live in is def not a need-most of the frum society functions without one.

But like I said, if you CAN have one, you have no other concerns other than financial for bringing a strange woman into your house, then why penny pinch?

Will def make your life easier!!
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israelgirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 7:55 pm
I feel like needs vs wants so much depends on culture. I remember their was a thread on here once about whether or not people see cleaning help/a couch/ and paper goods to be a need or a want.

I was floored. My parents aren't American. Needs are pretty much food water and shelter. I couldn't wrap my head around how most ladies on imamother considered the above mention things "needs"
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amother
Denim


 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 8:31 pm
I would advise you to get a live in if it will make your life easier.
.
. someone here wrote that it's not necessary because you are doing what we all do. But, I disagree. I think a lot of women are overwhelmed and can't afford more help. So, if you could afford it, why not try it out. With a new baby, its harder to focus on the older kids during HW time....

. my friend had a live in growing up, but the live in lived in the basement and wasn't "in the families' space " all the time, so they still had their privacy. Basically, their live in was always helping her mom out with the cleaning, laundry....whatever she needed but the live in also got off times.

. I am frugal like you and I think before spending on anything but since your dh can't help you with the chores and kids, would it make your life less stressful to have the live in? Then I say go for it!! A lot of other women have their dh helping and some are overwhelmed, but I once heard by a shiur, that its always good advice to hire help.unfortunately I can't afford help, if I could, I would hire an "afternoon /evening live in".
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NovelConcept




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 8:34 pm
amother wrote:
Because I can't leave my baby with cleaning help for shopping,drop off,pick up or extracurricular


Please don't leave your baby with a live-in either!

Kids have been molested, taught avodah zara, feed treif, kidnapped, and even killed.

Worth the risk?

I certainly don't think so.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 8:46 pm
NovelConcept wrote:
Please don't leave your baby with a live-in either!

Kids have been molested, taught avodah zara, feed treif, kidnapped, and even killed.

Worth the risk?

I certainly don't think so.


these things have been done to children by their own parents. is it worth the risk to have parents?

seriously, one doesn't invite a complete stranger into one's home without doing quite a bit of research. babysitters who don't live in can also do terrible things, most people still hire babysitters when they feel the need to do so. teachers have also done these things. ironically, no one does major research into their children's teachers before allowing said children into a classroom.
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gumby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 14 2016, 8:51 pm
Live in many times comes out better priced because you don't have to hire a babysitter if for example you have to go to pta, Mikvah a shiur etc. you also get help at the 5-7o clock hours that are usually the hardest hours of the day. It is hard to get day help to stay passed 4pm. If the only thing you need help with is cleaning then I would recommend going from one day to four days a week and see how your life improves .
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 15 2016, 7:25 am
I would hate having someone in my house. Unless I had a very separate area with bathroom and maybe even kitchenette. But it can often be cheaper then hiring help by the hour. I know people who got live ins or aupairs (a cheaper option) once they realized this. Also obviously you then have babysitting in the evening if you need to go out.

Personally, I would try hiring cleaning help at least 3 times a week. Hire someone you are comfortable leaving your kids with. If that is not enough hire a live in.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 24 2016, 6:41 pm
I don't understand why you're serving dinner 3 times, but maybe it's just me... You can get more household help without going as far as a live in, if it makes you more comfortable.
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