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Has imamother helped u?(finding some threads so offputing)
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GramaNewYork




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 9:06 am
It has helped me tremendously when I really needed it and it has upset me so much that I stayed away from it for months. Just like real life, but you can ignore it when necessary.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 10:50 am
It helped me tremendously when I found out about my husbands SA and I had literally nowhere else to turn. How else would I have found out about program and therapy and gotten referrals? It's not like you can call your bestie about this kind of stuff. Imamother literally saved my life and my marriage over this past super challenging year for me and I have made several really good friends in the same boat who are a great support. I am forever grateful.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 10:54 am
Yes, imamother has helped me in many, many ways, from practical help to emotional advice to mindless entertainment to forming friendships and sharing knowledge.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 10:57 am
Imamother has helped me break free of a very abusive situation, and has empowered me in tremendous ways. My life right now is beautiful, baruch Hashem, and just a few months ago it was hell.

Thank you, Yael, and thank you to all the wonderful posters who supported me and validated me.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 11:22 am
It has changed my relationship with my children.

I have learned from a few members different parenting techniques which are super helpful.

I have learned from this board (just from reading various threads from parents with similar issues) that my son may have some issues and after talking to my pediatrician I have scheduled an appointment to get him evaluated for ASD and discuss a treatment plan.

I have read on this board about sensory diets and after reading up on it, I have found it immensely helpful

And most important, I have found out which parenting books are worth my time, and several months after applying those techniques, we are doing much better as a family unit

From a poster who reads more than posts.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 11:36 am
imamother comes with the good, the bad & the ugly

back in the day when I joined there were but 1,747 users they have expanded quite a bit to today's number of 26,983 registered users ... life changes & attitudes change as well

being open to truthful discussions means more people are able to feel comfortable talking about taboo topics

on the other hand more people also mean more trolls, more men, more singles, more fighting, etc.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 11:51 am
I learned about great parenting courses. money tips. pampers rewards points. I also got to know some great people. I do try to stay away from threads that bother me.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 11:53 am
omg I totally forgot. I found out about schools for kids and a dr that diagnosis autism etc and takes insurance that alone is worth it
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 12:00 pm
Yes, imamother has helped me a lot. My husband is mentally ill. BH he has gitten help and is in a good place now, but it was not always like that, at all. And the advice and chizuk of other women in the same situations (the private forum of women married to mentally ill husbands) helped me more than I can even say. Just to be able to "talk" to other women who knew what I was talking about meant so much.
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Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 12:10 pm
I've liked imamother for many of the above reasons but my favorite one is meeting people in real life, when I was in Cleveland, israel, toronto, and especially Niagara Falls at my restaurant! It made me very happy when people said hey, are you Andrea from imamother?" Sometimes they tell me screen names, sometimes not, but it's always nice to meet you guys!
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GAP




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 1:20 pm
I like the honesty on imamother. People really speak their minds here and I find that helpful.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 2:20 pm
amother wrote:
Yes and no. It helps keep me up-to-date with what goes on in the RW frum world but by exposing me to what certain RW frum people really think of my brand of Yiddishkeit, it does nothing to foster my Ahavas Yisroel. Quite the opposite. OTOH, now I know what these people think of me and people like me, so maybe that's a good thing.


Wow. No hug button here. Consider yourself hugged, in an Imamother-approved way. Sorry you feel so beleaguered.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 2:47 pm
Imamother changed my life.
Things I thought feelings I had that made me feel so isolated and alone, imamother made me see that I was human and by far not the only one.
Imamother empowered me to be myself without fear or shame.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 2:52 pm
Maya wrote:
I wonder how true this is. We've had some very self righteous posters here ten years ago. My impression of what's different is that now more posters are willing to go up against that and "fight" back, whereas it seems that ten years ago the demographic was less diverse and most women shared similar views.


This may be it...
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 2:56 pm
amother wrote:
Imamother has helped me break free of a very abusive situation, and has empowered me in tremendous ways. My life right now is beautiful, baruch Hashem, and just a few months ago it was hell.

Thank you, Yael, and thank you to all the wonderful posters who supported me and validated me.


this made me tear up.
while I haven't broken free from the abuse I'm so much more aware and empowered. things are so much clearer and I know I can always vent and get support (on the private forum I'm on).

that being said, it would make a huge difference if we all took it down a notch when we post stuff. think how you'd feel if your own post was written to you by someone else.

we don't need easier ways to make others feel bad - a wise amother (can't recall who said it or whos signature it's in)
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 4:05 pm
Maya wrote:
I wonder how true this is. We've had some very self righteous posters here ten years ago. My impression of what's different is that now more posters are willing to go up against that and "fight" back, whereas it seems that ten years ago the demographic was less diverse and most women shared similar views.


ITA 100 percent.

I would take this even a step further: IMHO, Imamothers from across the spectrum of backgrounds and communities are more responsible consumers of ideas than a decade ago.

One of the first threads in which I got feisty started with an OP who posted a story about some girl's experience in the secular world -- work, college, or something like that. The point was to demonstrate the perfidy of the non-frum world, but the story made no sense whatsoever. I and a few other posters asked some follow-up questions and pointed out some inconsistencies.

At first, the OP assured us the story was true as written, and then she backtracked to claim that she had simply "heard" the story. Next, she said that it didn't matter whether the story was really true because it made an important point. Finally, she expressed shock that allegedly frum women would attack a story whose purpose was to defend Torah.

If I recall, I snarkily said that Torah doesn't require us to make up ridiculous stories to "defend" it.

I don't think that kind of thread would occur now. I can't imagine any current poster putting up a similar story or defending it, let alone expressing the view that the facts don't matter.

In the pre-Internet era, we had media gatekeepers both in the larger society and in our individual communities. Even if we felt biases existed or accounts were incomplete, we trusted that the ideas we heard weren't made up of whole cloth.

The Internet age has brought the tremendous benefit of not being required to rely on various gatekeepers who didn't always act in our best interests. But the flip side of that is that we no longer have gatekeepers to act as filters.

Being our own gatekeepers means developing some protocols. Some may be obvious and may be driven by religious practices or common sense (filtering out [filth] or tasteless sites). Some may be based on avoiding individually sensitive topics (abuse, divorce, etc.). And some may be based on the kinds of influences we want in our lives (should I read a snippet about a 95-year-old lady who still serves school lunches or drool over luxury handbags?).

Being our own gatekeepers means we will hear ideas and opinions that are radically at odds with our own and people will insult us. If we want the advantages of being our own gatekeepers, we have to develop thick skins.

Imamother is simply a microcosm of that change in the world.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Mon, Sep 26 2016, 4:16 pm
Although subtly advised by my kallah teacher not to (like, don't read about everyone else's marriages when you're just starting your own) I joined imamother months after my wedding for anonymous help with a bedroom issue.

The support was overwhelming and encouraged me to teach out to my kallah teacher in real life, necessary doctors etc. I kept posting private personal issues and getting support until I was finally able to muster up the courage to see a therapist. And I'm a very "normal typical great etc girl" so it's not like I felt I could confide in anyone in real life.

For a while when I felt too impressionable I stopped going on. Now I go on when I'm bored but I don't take anything too seriously. I know in my case that some replies, whether meant kindly or not, were so off target simply because my one or two paragraph OP can't capture the complexity of life. If I feel like I have something of value to add (even though I'm young) I do. But it's the internet and people troll, not going to let it bother me

It's also been very interesting to get a window into different religious life styles. And together with the issues I went through, made me very very empathetic and truly non judgmental. I mean I'm the first to say that you never know what someone else is going through. And from a human perspective I enjoy getting glimpses into people's lives both good and bad
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amother
Black


 

Post Tue, Sep 27 2016, 6:26 am
amother wrote:

I'm honestly curious - has imamother helped you? do u half-hate it/half love it? have you ever posted a question and found the answers to be honestly helpful or uplifting? Did any particular thread help u or have a substantial impact on your life in any way???


No, not yet.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 27 2016, 7:19 am
I made great friends.
I learned many things about other cultures (I assumed all Ashkenazis were like us!!)
I met some IRL!
I learned about natural birth (only beginning to be a concept here) and went on to shlep to Paris at "the" natural place to have kah 3 natural birthes LOL
Made shidduchim


I'm still puzzled at the materialism (or hatred of what is easier) and chumra run (or kula run!). But both made me understand better the good I have here Smile I also read from really "evil" people, for lack of better word... Things are definitely better than a decade ago!
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Tue, Sep 27 2016, 7:56 am
Maya wrote:
To answer OP's question, Imamother was my first exposure to the lifestyles of the non-Chassidish. Imamother changed my life by being the single biggest influence in finding a better way for myself and my family. So yes, it's been helpful.


This post actually makes me feel kind of uneasy.
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