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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
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amother
Wheat
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 Tue, Sep 27 2016, 5:59 pm
Just got a phone call from ds from Yeshiva saying he is very guilty that in the past years when we have gone to hotels that did not serve lunch we would take extra food for lunch without asking permission. More recently we have started to ask and was told sure take some fruit, make a matzah sandwich etc.
He feels what we had done was potentially stealing. I can understand why he may feel that way.
I see it as the food most likely would end up in the garbage had we not taken it and we paid plenty for the hotel and I am sure they know people take food. Sounds like I am rationalizing.
He wants us to ask our rav a sheilah.
It is nice he is so concerned about our teshuvah status.
Love to hear people's thoughts on this.
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Seas
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 6:04 pm
Be proud of him. He's a true yarei shamayim who cares about his neshama. Oif alle Yiddishe mammes gezogt.
As to the actual question of whether it's theft, he's right, you should ask a shaaloh.
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naomi2
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 6:07 pm
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Make sure he doesn't have ocd
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 6:10 pm
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He does have minor OCD- even said he is ocding on this. The problem with the OCD is that part of his thought process does have halachic basis. Once he gets an answer though he accepts it B"H.
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zaq
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 7:04 pm
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So what's the problem? Ask the shaila and be done with it. Though I do think it's more than a mite chutzpadik for a son to be giving his parents mussar, even in the polite way he, and you, framed it. He has no business feeling "guilty" on your behalf and should worry about his own potential sins, not yours.
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amother
Chocolate
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 7:43 pm
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Definitely sounds like it could be coming from his OCD. Do not engage in conversation on this topic with him. The more it's discussed, the more he will obsess.
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naomi2
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 8:24 pm
Is there a way to find a rav who is familiar with ocd to ask. Because he I s right that you can't steal even a bit but you also are not allowed to let a mental illness get the better of you I think. And not knowing that you son has ocd, the rav may exacerbate it.
Also he must see a psychologist and or psychayatrist this is a real illness and needs to be treated. It can get so out of hand and even if he is able to control it, it takes so much energy that his quality of life will suffer. Please please help your son.
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Sep 27 2016, 9:34 pm
| naomi2 wrote: | Is there a way to find a rav who is familiar with ocd to ask. Because he I s right that you can't steal even a bit but you also are not allowed to let a mental illness get the better of you I think. And not knowing that you son has ocd, the rav may exacerbate it.
Also he must see a psychologist and or psychayatrist this is a real illness and needs to be treated. It can get so out of hand and even if he is able to control it, it takes so much energy that his quality of life will suffer. Please please help your son. |
yep- doing all of that and we have a rav that knows the situation so will be calling him tomorrow.
And zaq I do agree with you- it really should not be his concern- but I think he is trying to save us from going to a very hot place. I am assuming he learned something in shiur that sparked his worry.
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naomi2
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Wed, Sep 28 2016, 8:44 am
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You sound like you are doing everything right by him. Kudos to you!
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