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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
Fasting Yom Kippur during pregnancy.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 9:09 am
Thanks essie14.
Just curios to hear everyone's opinion. What do you think is better? Don't fast but go to Shul/ babysit ect or fast and stay in bed the whole day?
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smile12345




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 9:14 am
amother wrote:
Thanks essie14.
Just curios to hear everyone's opinion. What do you think is better? Don't fast but go to Shul/ babysit ect or fast and stay in bed the whole day?


There's no different opinions - fasting is the only d'oirasa, all the rest comes after. (unless it means your pregnancy is at risk, though that is a question for your Rabbi, not us).
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 9:52 am
amother wrote:
Thanks essie14.
Just curios to hear everyone's opinion. What do you think is better? Don't fast but go to Shul/ babysit ect or fast and stay in bed the whole day?


There is a difference between feeling holiness "gilui" in a way that is revealed or "atzmus" it's not revealed but it's the real thing.

Going to shul "feels" better, more like yom tov, more like the spirit of the holiday and what you're "supposed" to do. But this is only gilui.

Staying in bed the whole day is atzmus. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel spiritual. You don't get to daven. You don't hear all the nice tunes and moving chazzanus. You don't hear unasenah tokef, neilah, duchening, not even the shofar at the end.

But that's atzmus. That's the real day. Just because it doesnt "feel" all nice and spiritual doesn't mean you're not actually tapping into the very exact inherent spirituality of the day - by fasting, which is back-to-basics, and not doing any other extra fluff.
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Shuly




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 9:54 am
My rav said the avodah of YK is to fast, not even to daven.
Stay in bed (or on the couch) the whole day and ask a Rav in advance what to do if you don't feel good or start to have contractions.

When I was pregnant on YK, my DH davened k'vasikin and I had a neighbor help watch my kids in the morning until DH came home. Then he took over watching them so I could rest the whole day - and this was while I was eating/drinking shiurim.

We learned the hard way after I had tried to fast and watch the kids on Tisha Bav before that and ended up having to go to the emergency clinic because I was having steady contractions.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 10:03 am
I was 8 months pregnant twice on Yom Kippur, once with my first and again with my second. Agree with everyone who says to stay put. Don't go to shul (I didn't, even when I didn't have other kids), hydrate very well before the fast (lots of Gatorade!), don't even push yourself to daven too much if you don't feel well - fasting should be your main focus. Don't babysit anyone else's kids unless they're older and just need you to be in the same house as them.

Like Chayelle, those fasts were two of my easiest because I made myself sit and do nothing. Even with a four-year-old at home.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 10:09 am
amother wrote:
Thanks essie14.
Just curios to hear everyone's opinion. What do you think is better? Don't fast but go to Shul/ babysit ect or fast and stay in bed the whole day?


My Rav, R' Forscheimer of Lakewood, told me that you have no obligation to go to shul or even daven at all - the obligation is to fast. Everything else is extra after that.


As a single girl I always went to shul to daven. As a married woman, I'm not always able to. When I can, I try to recreate the songs in my head and remember in the inspiration. But like I posted, I've davened Tefillah on Yom Kippur sitting on my couch. (that wasn't the only year BTW - my DD was born on Rosh Hashana, and that year I davened Shemona Esrei sitting in a rocker in the hospital holding my brand new infant DD. I was too dizzy to stand, just a few hours after birth.)
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lapmom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 10:37 am
I was in my 8th on Yom kippur by my last pregnancy. For a few weeks before I put a drop into my water every time I drank, called "Cell food". It really helped. I didn't feel dehydrated, but I did stay indoors and slept and rested most of the day. Late in the afternoon I started feeling light contractions so I decided to go to my mother, There with company I guess I took my head off fasting and just rested. My baby was born full term BH with no complications. I will be in the first week of my 3rd trimester this YK, I hope Ill have the same experience...
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sweetpotato




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 10:48 am
This will be my 3rd time fasting YK while pregnant... first time was a 2 days before my due date. I went to kol nidreh (which involved a mile walk) but stayed home for the rest of YK. I slept as late as humanly possible and basically sat on the couch the whole time and davened. I mostly remember being extremely bored...till I started having contractions around neilah time, and ended up giving birth early the next morning Smile (no regrets, everything went well BH).

Second time I was about 2.5 months PG and also nursing. It was actually a bit tougher but I stayed home the entire fast and sat on the couch. Davened at home. I was still at the nauseous stage of pregnancy and broke my fast by eating an entire bag of sea salt and vinegar potato chips and about a quart of orange juice, and pickles (I am also very into sour foods when in the early stage of pregnancy).

Now I'll be 4.5 months pregnant on YK.

You should plan to stay in one place as much as possible and sleep as much as possible. The only thing that matters is completely the fast safely-- you aren't required to go to shul, daven, etc. If you need him to help you, your husband needs to stay home from shul too, or come home at times to check on you (since you completing the fast is far more important than your husband davening at shul). If you are at any sort of risk, talk to your rav beforehand about when you can take shiurim and what size your shiur is. You'll need to measure it out before YK so you know how much you can drink and/or eat at time, and at what interval (this can range from every 2 minutes to every 11 minutes, so find out what your psak is).

I never had to drink shiurim but felt better knowing I was allowed to if I felt I really needed it and knew how to gauge how much the shiur was.

Have food/drink on hand you know you can tolerate (juice, milk, whatever you like to eat right now) to eat immediately after the fast ends. Don't wait on an official break fast meal.

Don't feel guilty if you only daven a minimum and don't feel guilty if you sleep most of YK. I personally think it's better to have reading material that will help distract you from the fast, if you need that, than to force yourself to daven. I think the tefilos of a pregnant woman on YK must be very special to Hashem even if they are very minimal. The main thing is to get through it and observe the fast. Fasting while pregnant is unpleasant at best but in almost all cases, perfectly safe.

Bshaa tova!
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sweetpotato




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 10:53 am
amother wrote:
Thanks essie14.
Just curios to hear everyone's opinion. What do you think is better? Don't fast but go to Shul/ babysit ect or fast and stay in bed the whole day?


There's no question here... unless you are medically forbidden to fast in any form and its pikuach nefesh, it's required for everyone to fast on YK. Under certain circumstances pregnant women and people with other non-life threatening health complications can eat/drink shiurim but this doesn't count as "not fasting." No one except the dangerously ill or women who have just given birth are allowed to simply not fast on YK.

If it's a question about whether it's better to eat/drink shiurim in order to have the strength to go to shul, or stay in bed the whole day and fast without shiurim, the latter is definitely better.
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mamita




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 12:10 pm
If it makes you feel better, the yom Kippurs before I married I spent the entire day in shul. The first yom Kippur after married I was pregnant. Without us even asking anything, (ask? I'm so capable! A powerhouse!) Our Rav told my dh I should not go to shul and rest the whole day with an ac. The only chiyuv is to fast. I couldn't figure out why . but I followed instructions. Felt like an unholy cheat. had a breezy fast. Felt great. Now a few years and pregnancies later Boruch Hashem, I am more enlightened.
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tryinghard




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 12:25 pm
Just FTR, as much as you may be feeling better than your sisters, its a much bigger deal if you go into labor now because you don't rest while fasting than if your sister who is due on YK does. If she goes into labor, great! You? Not so much.

As for not going to shul, get used to it, next year will not be much of an option either. Women are not chayav in tefilla b'zman for this exact reason...
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 1:43 pm
I'm in the same position guys. Pregnant with #4. Really early and horribly nauseous. Fainted once already. In the past, I've stayed in bed all day, but if I felt up to it, I went to Ne'illah. Cuz it's really short, and you don't have to wait for men to come home for havdallah. You can break the fast there.
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animeme




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 3:22 pm
Prepare mentally now. Go out and buy a book that will help you feel the day. It may be the yamim noraim Pathway to Prayer, or a book on teshuva, or the Naftali in the Beis Hamikdash yom kippur book, or whatever. On Yom kippur, you make yourself a spot and have your books and your machzor. So you can be inspired if you're up to it. If not, you rest/sleep.

Beware of getting up to help because you feel fine. You can go from fine to not fine very quickly.
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 6:41 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks essie14.
Just curios to hear everyone's opinion. What do you think is better? Don't fast but go to Shul/ babysit ect or fast and stay in bed the whole day?


My DD was born 2 weeks before RH. My husband was told that if he needed to stay home from Shul so that I could fast, he was obligated to do so. Unless there are life threatening reasons not to fast, you need to fast. Stay in bed all day if you need to, but fast.

And if your sisters need help with their children, their DH's should stay home or make other arrangements for them. It's not your responsibility in your stage.
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someone




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 10:17 pm
Yes to what everyone has said! There is NO obligation to be in shul (or for your husband to be in shul). There is a chiyuv d'orayta to fast. So you should do whatever you can to be able to fast as much as possible.
I have been pregnant 3 times on Yom Kippur and a week after birth another time b"H and each time we got different instructions from our Rabbi, depending on the specifics of the situation. Ask your Rabbi what to do and what to do if you feel sick, or in any other situation you are worried about. And yes, remember that this what Hashem wants from you this Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur with kids (even unborn ones...) and without are two totally different experiences, and Hashem wants different things from us at each stage of our lives. Try to think in advance how you can make the most of the day.
Bsha'ah Tovah!
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Wed, Sep 28 2016, 11:58 pm
I am also really nervous. I'm starting my 8th month and in general I am a bad faster. But it's worse with the pregnancy (my first) because if I don't eat right away I get very nauseous and throw up. Also, I get very thirsty very fast and I am very nervous I'll get dehydrated, even though I have already begun to prepare for the fast. It's Yom Kippur- I can't NOT fast but at the same time I'm worried about how sick it will make me. time also moves very slowly on Yom Kippur and that's not a good combination with being sick.
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someone




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 2:25 am
Quote:
It's Yom Kippur- I can't NOT fast but at the same time I'm worried about how sick it will make me.

It's not so clear cut. I am not a posek but you should definitely talk to one and ask him what to do, don't just assume that there is no other option. It could well be that you will be told to fast at the beginning and in certain circumstances to start drinking shiurim. Keep in mind that it is better to drink shiurim (obviously when instructed to by a Rabbi) than to fast and end up having to break it completely.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Thu, Jul 12 2018, 3:41 am
I'm sorry if I appear ignorant, but can someone explain "eat with shiurim"?
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