Husband going to Uman

amother

Tan

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 4:51 pm

My husband just left to uman and I'm a little sad I'll be alone over shabbos and YT. I have people I will eat by but it won't be the same.
He really wanted to go and I want him to be happy so I told him if I have somewhere to be he can go. I hate having to ask others for favors and being the nebach.
Just venting I guess

watergirl

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 5:49 pm

I wish I was posting the same thing. We cant afford it this year, havent been able to for a while. I know how lonely it is when they are there, and no words really help - but the shabbos in Uman before RH is suoopsedly gevaldig, my dh has been for a few of them - I know your husband will come back with suh a high that you will all benefit from. Its worth it when all is said and done. But btw you are NOT a nebach! You are a supportive wifeq. Be proud of his drive to go, and be proud of yourself for allowing it!

amother

Red

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 6:24 pm

If you really didn't want to be seen as a nebach, why didn't you invite some other "golf widows" or single women to have a meal or two with you? You can't be the only woman in town who's alone for YT and surely others would have appreciated the invitation. Is being alone because your dh is in Uman a nebachy thing in your community? I don't see why, if going to Uman is an accepted custom by you. Or do the non-nebachy women tell their dhs "If you go to Uman, don't bother coming back" and only the nebachs agree that they should go?

amother

Tan

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 7:19 pm

There are certainly many men here who go. I guess the reason why I feel like a nebach is because I don't have a mother to move into for YT, like most women do. It's barely an issue for them.
I guess it brings me back to high school when I had to ask to go to other people for shabbos and YT

amother

Pewter

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 11:23 pm

Yes, a planeload of 500 passengers scheduled to go tonight on a charter flight by DOALL Travel ,to Uman, has been cancelled!!! great for all wives and children to have a father and husband to share ,this ROSH HASHANA!!!!!

Hashem is sending a clear message, Fathers and Husbands need to spend Yomtov at home with their family. That is spirituality...going to shul with your children, Making seudas with your family!!!!

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 11:28 pm

amother wrote:

Believe me, I'm no fan of the Uman phenomenon. But it's not nice to gloat over someone's disappointment.

For those who really want to daven at a holy grave, surrounded by anti-Semites, there's always Chevron.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 11:29 pm

My husband really wanted to be in 770 for YT. We tried to find an apartment in Crown Heights for the whole family for YT but we couldn't find anything. I told him it was okay with me if he went by himself (easier for a man to find accommodations than a whole family) but he said he wouldn't leave me alone over YT.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Sep 28 2016, 11:37 pm

amother wrote:

I'm not gloating....JMHO

It is vey disappointing for these men...nebech...I feel bad for them...

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:32 am

amother wrote:

It's hard.
My husbands in uman too. I'm lonely, but also happy for him to have his spiritual experience.

Can you invite someone over that you know? Make up to go to shul with a friend?

I too don't have a mother to go to, or lean on... And I plan to take care of myself really well, and give myself a nice Yom tov.

tigerwife

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:39 am

amother wrote:

Wow, I wish I can read all of HaShem's messages like that!

amother

Tan

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 1:08 am

amother wrote:

How come the flight was cancelled?

They scammed the organizers, failing to mention that they didn't yet have landing rights in kiev.
Thank you to the amother in the same boat. You are very strong.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 1:43 am

My husband is also going though on Motzei Shabbos

I guess I got used to it - I try to invite others over whose husbands go.
b/c my husband is going motzei shabbos it doesn't seem so long this year.

but he did pay extra to go for such a short time

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 5:50 am

amother wrote:

WOW! The 8th prophetess has been revealed! Hashem has sent her a message!

Stay tuned for the next nevuah...

watergirl

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 6:33 am

amother wrote:

WOW! The 8th prophetess has been revealed! Hashem has sent her a message!

Stay tuned for the next nevuah...

Hey! You stole my post!! Thats literally what I was going to write.

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 7:26 am

Or maybe it's the yetzer hara saying to try harder.
I don't get it at all once you're married because you just have fun on your wife's suffering. But OUAT if a whole shtetl did that, plenty different. The wives were used to it and together in the same boat so to speak

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 7:35 am

Ruchel wrote:

I think if the wife truly agrees, it's different than a wife who really doesn't want her husband to go but he insists. Many wives weigh the price of each and decide that it's worth it for them for their husbands to go...

watergirl

Thu, Sep 29 2016, 7:40 am

Ruchel wrote:

The same comments come up on these Uman threads every single year. If the husband is indeed going to have fun and his wife is suffering, then he should absolutely not be going. Nobody will disagree with you on that one. But pleas do not align 70,000 men who go there every year not to have fun. My husband would do anything to be there this year, and I would do anything to send him. Unfortunately, it's not in our means. And no, I also did not have family to go to when he's not in town, and I did not have friends to go to when he was not in town. I was on my own with my kids, so I do understand the downside and the frustrations. But I also really understand and support and uphold the positive side of going to Uman. Its a Breslov thing.

Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Sep 29 2016, 8:12 am; edited 1 time in total