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A vent about myself



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amother
Amber


 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:01 pm
I just need to vent. I hate some things in my life. a child with adhd. a mother who is selfish. who has some personality disorder but I dont know what.
a child who I had to send away because of severe issues and I couldnt raise her myself.
when I lose myself on my ds. cause dh hates when I get angry and illogical with him or the situation. though we are working on meds for him.

a freind that doesnt want me as a friend anymore because of something I did that I understand hurts but we were friends for many years. so I dont know why shes angry at this point. I think I do but not sure why she cut off from me. and I cant call her because she isnt interested in me anymore. and that hurts like hell.

that is what makes me more upset then anything else. I was opinionated about some person she respects and I was more then negative about this person. she was hurt and doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. maybe I sounded angry at that point cause I was under pressure about something else and I sounded upset. and I wasnt upset at her even. I just was too opinionated and negative. and I dont know how to swallow this. it hurts like a arrow in my heart. I just dont know how to go on. then I do have a big house with no cleaning help. dh isnt affording it and no I cant take a job to cover those bills. that is not optional at this point. and cleaning help is expensive not to mention dh hates them altogether. my house is messy according to me. and it makes me miserable.

oh and this friend business I am not even sure I want to persue another friendship like this anymore. its too stressful and demanding. you have to be available every time they call or they get insulted. because I would love to have company too so I would love to call when its good for me and I must admit I do get insulted if someone doesnt want to speak with me. I dont know or understand that. I do know logically that people are not available all the time and I am not either but I still get insulted. I have no idea why. I would love to try to figuree thatt one out.

I also wonder if the progesterone pill is making me depressed. anyone had this? I used it for 3 days and I am such a mess and so down all the time. also the mirena I wonder if thats makeing me more depressed then anything else. maybe.

I am a real people pleaser. so the fact that this friend doesnt want me hurts me more. it means I can please her or I did something and now I am not good anymore. I know its silly of course I am good its just that birst of thought for a moment.

thanks for letting me vent
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:09 pm
(((HUGS)))
There's no button here.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:25 pm
Hugs. Are you the poster of the thread about being contacted by a friend who had gotten upset at your putting down a rav she respected?

I hope the coming year brings you security, good friendship, and SB.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:32 pm
birth control hormones can definitely be a mood changer for many people [2nd hand knowledge from family as I've never taken bc]

but it still doesn't make your issues any less important ... you feel what you feel & you would be right in expressing them ...

sorry for the stress you're going through ... this too shall pass [hopefully sooner than later]
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 12:33 pm
Dear op

So sorry things in your life are hard right now. I empathize with you about the friendship thing, I don't have many friends at all, maybe just one or two and feel I don't fit in anywhere.
I think it's really important to try and build yourself up and take care of yourself and see to your needs so you are able to deal with your situation in a better way.

Hope things get better for you...
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Sep 29 2016, 1:48 pm
Op
Please join us on the forum for growing up with severe parental abuse.
I know you're thinking that isn't the main problem right now just a piece in the puzzle.
But you would be surprised how much of your personality, your triggers, and your people-pleasing tendencies stem from that. We all share those struggles and get support from each other.
Pm blacksheep if you want access.
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