7 year old temper | Imamother

amother

Purple

Tue, Oct 04 2016, 11:36 pm

My daughter is generally well behaved. In school she does good too. I find that when she's in middle of something or if she doesn't want to do something like out on pjs or take a bath and go to bed she is never ready no matter what I do or don't do and the only way she will end up doing it is by force. She has gone for a sensory evaluation but she is very mild not enough to justify her aggressiveness. She will sometimes bite her younger sister because " she was bothering her" or kick the wall because she doesn't want to do something. I've tried talking to her and compromising but once she starts she's already in a full blown tantrum and she says that I don't listen to her but she doesn't know what she is saying . For example, her bed time is 7 30 so at 7 I tell her lets start getting ready for bed, and she gets mad and tells me she should go to sleep later. But this also happens if its a late night and past her bedtime. She is very expressive so I'm not worried that she can't express herself. I'm afraid she has too much anxiety. Has anyone ever had someone they can get tips from or even a book? Thank you!

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 1:59 am

It might be language problem (anxiety ), even though she's expressive, that can be helped with speech therapy, or use a different evaluater for sensory. Anxiety should be taken care of, so she can relax. If she can't relax and talk about her anxiety, you need to give her the opportunity and tools.

chani8

Wed, Oct 05 2016, 5:52 am

Perhaps I am overthinking the words you used to express yourself, OP.

But I am wondering, what came first, you making her do things "by force", or her aggression and biting? What I do for the kids who 'dont listen' (besides making less requests) is to do the thing that needs to be done, *with them*. Stop everything and take her by the hand and nicely and cheerfully take her to go to the bedroom. Offer to help her with pjs. Take her to the bath. Sit with her the whole time. Sit with her on her bed as she goes to sleep.

She says you dont listen. How does "she doesn't know what she is saying" represent good listening skills? Have you read any books on listening skills? How To Talk So Kids Will Listen is a good book for that.

As for anxiety, can you give examples of what she says or does that reflects her anxiety. She sounds, by your description here, more frustrated than anxious. If she is anxious at bedtime, drinking chamomile tea helps to relax (even with a bit of sugar).