Girls' high schools Lakewood - positive posts only!

amother

Coffee

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 11:33 am

Chayalle wrote:

I have heard that the curriculum was "upped" but it is still not on the academic level of other local schools.

I see no one mentioned that Bnos Bais Yaakov is also considered to be highly academic, though I have no idea what direction the new administration will take this.

Again, I have no personal stake in this, but it just bothers me when these stigmas just stick. Like I said, in my work in continued education (and SAT scores for grants for seminaries), I have very measurable ways of comparing specific skill areas and there has been a very visible improvement, as well as a surprising above par level displayed by Bais Shaindel students.

From my understanding, the other more academic schools seem to make a bigger deal about marks and create a sort of anxious attitude towards academics which gives them a "name" for being more highly academic. But when it comes to measurable skills, I have seen otherwise........

Chayalle

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 11:51 am

amother wrote:

That may be - depending on what skills you are talking about. I'm basing my comment on what I've heard from a few Bais Shaindel parents, who told me their daughters are not working very hard in high school and could be doing more....

Chayalle

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 11:54 am

BTW - OP - you say you want your daughter to participate extra-curricular-wise and broaden her horizons. That is likely to happen in every school. I don't think a single high school does not have these opportunities. Every school has plays, events, etc...where the girls are encouraged to participate and have the chance to broaden their horizons. However if you are dreaming of your daughter actually heading a committee and developing more in a leadership sort of role, and she is more quiet, then she is more likely to get this in a smaller school.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 12:07 pm

I went to Bnos Bais Yaakov, despite it's bad name, and I loved it. I really had my place to shine thanks to the former principal- who VERY unfortantely for Lakewood is no longer there. The new hanhalah is supposed to be great but I do not know about the extra-cirriculum yet. They have great teachers and highly-stimulating classes if your daughter is looking for a higher standard of learning. Just note that the school has all types (far RW to far LW and all in between), so your daughter must be open-minded and accepting to get the most out of the school.

amother

Violet

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 12:17 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Smaller schools, depending on where you are Hashkafically, can make a difference there. Bais Kaila, on the more open-minded end of the spectrum, vs. Maon Bnos Melech on the more RW side, are both options where a more shy, less-materialistic girl can find her place and be brought out.

Thanks.
Two questions about Bais Kaila:
1)When you say Bais Kaila is more "open-minded", how do you define that?
2)How big of a school is it?

debsey

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 2:55 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks.
Two questions about Bais Kaila:
1)When you say Bais Kaila is more "open-minded", how do you define that?
2)How big of a school is it?

There's less of a "type" operating in Bais Kailah. A girl can be a little more of an individual and the school will still love her and treat her well. In a school like BY or Shiras Devorah, there's a "type" and if you don't fit that type, it's unlikely the hanhala will give you a top job like GO President, or entrust you with any job that makes you into a role model. Bais Kaila is less focused on peripherals in that way. Not that they don't have tznius requirements - they totally do and they enforce them - but they have more of a "look at the whole girl" approach than the other schools.

The parent body is also pretty diverse. Plenty of LT learners, fathers who are rebbes, and fathers who work and are koveah ittim. It's a really solid school in terms of pretty much everything you'd want, and now that they tightened up their admission policies (leaving the girls who really need a school like Wallerstein to go to places like that), the entire ruach of the school is really nice.

By Lakewood standards, it's average sized. What's nice about Bais Kaila is that they have the academic track for the girls who want it, and the alternative track for girls who need it. That way everyone gets what they need.

debsey

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 2:58 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Completely agree with this. The bigger schools don't do a great job of encouraging the quieter girls to take a leadership role, whereas if you're in a new school like Meon, of course you're going to be in the play or head a committee - the school is so small that every girl's contribution is needed, so that stretches the quieter girls in a way that wouldn't happen in a bigger school.

amother

Mint

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 3:01 pm

amother wrote:

I went there too.
There were no "far LW" girls in that school...

Chayalle

Fri, Oct 07 2016, 3:14 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks.
Two questions about Bais Kaila:
1)When you say Bais Kaila is more "open-minded", how do you define that?
2)How big of a school is it?

They have less rules in terms of image, and they focus on Halacha. You won't find them making a rule about not wearing, say, dark green shoes - since it's not a tznius issue. They are also not into nitpicking every little thing. I know of a girl who went thru a phase where she was wearing a certain rather ridiculous accessory, not untznius but just strange. Someone in the school spoke to the parent - rather than saying anything to the girl - and the mother explained that her daughter was going thru a particular phase. They just let it go, the girl moved on, and she did really well there. They look at the whole picture, with the understanding that teenagers are a growth in progress, they have moods, stages, etc....

There are 2 or 3 classes in each grade, with approximately 25 girls per class. Plenty of room for different types, but not so big as to be overwhelming.

amother

Indigo

Wed, Nov 30 2016, 2:02 pm

I didn't read all the responses but why would the op or anyone else ask for "positive posts only"??? Doesn't she want accurate and useful information no matter which way it leads her? I recently called references for my babysitter I just hired. Imagine I told the references to leave out anything negative. It would almost defeat the purpose. I think people often confuse positivity with reality. The op needs accurate information, not only positive information.

Chayalle

Wed, Nov 30 2016, 2:54 pm

1525 wrote:

Question about applying: If you choose four schools, and you're not accepted into any of them, could another school accept you, even though you didn't write it on the application?
Are there interviews? Are they before or after you're accepted? When do you know that you are? What if you're accepted to more than one high school?

Yes - it can happen that you apply to four schools and are not accepted to any of them, and a fifth school offers you a spot. If you don't want that 5th school, you will not get much help or sympathy from the Vaad whether you feel that school is right for your DD or not - once you have a school, the Vaad's job is done.

For this reason, I STRONGLY encourage you to apply to schools that make sense for you and where you will likely be accepted.

Someone I know well was very hyper-focused on a certain school, so they tried to play the system by applying to that school plus 3 other schools that they were pretty sure wouldn't accept them (2 were far too right wing, and the other was BY which is hard to get into without pull) thinking then their one and only choice would be forced to take them. What ended up happening is they didn't get into any of those schools, and another school they did not want offered them a spot. The Vaad wouldn't work with them because "they had a school". In the end they used alot of pull to get into yet a 6th school that made sense for them, that they could've gotten into all along but never applied to.....and B"H, their lucky that their girls are doing really well there and are happy.

Interviews will probably be sometime in Jan or Feb. First there will be a grand entrance exam (the grand joke, my girls call it) one Sunday at Bais Faiga for all 8th graders in Lakewood. You will get applications in mail for schools, you fill them out and they will get your daughter's exam results. Then they will call you for an interview. After that, you wait for acceptance letters which is usually closer to Pesach. If you get into more than one school you have a very short time to decide, because there are girls waiting for round 2....

Hatzlacha

debsey

Wed, Nov 30 2016, 6:06 pm

And piggybacking on what Chayelle said - there's no one school that you absolutely MUST send to. DD is out of HS now, but she didn't get into her first choice (Bais Shaindel) and where she ended up was so much better for her, in so many ways.

Instead of trying to play the system, and complain to the Va'ad, and have your heart set on one particular school, it's much better to be a bit more open-minded, and really look into the schools and decide what's best for your daughter.

Schools are not "it" bags, they're educational homes for four of the most formative years of a girls' life. Could it possibly be that when we don't get into the school of our choice, that's what's bashert and is actually the best thing for our child?

I guess it's because I'm getting to be an older mother that I can say - so many of my friends made themselves crazy trying to get into a particular school. Most didn't succeed, and I can't say that those that did ended up with "better" kids than the ones that didn't.

amother

Violet

Wed, Nov 30 2016, 7:57 pm

amother wrote:

I'm the OP.
It's possible I wasn't clear what I meant when I asked for positive posts only.
Here on imamother, any discussion about Lakewood schools quickly turns into a nasty party with a lot of cynicism and all-around bashing, lashon hara, and motzei shaym ra. That's what I wanted to avoid. Factual information that is useful to me, that's a different story.

amother

Violet

Wed, Nov 30 2016, 8:12 pm

sequoia wrote:

Positive as in "this school rather than that one" as opposed to "get out of Lakewood, it sucks."

Sequoia, you explain me better than I explain myself Wink

.
I have no patience for "get out of Lakewood, it sucks" posts, or posts of a similar nature. It serves absolutely no useful purpose whatsoever, except to waste another person's time and energy with your own bitterness.

debsey

Wed, Nov 30 2016, 10:45 pm

amother wrote:

Debsey what school is a good school that just has a bad name that we should consider?

Also if someone is in Bais rivka Rochel do they have to apply to four schools or only Bais Shaindel and the same with Bais Tova does someone have to apply to four schools?

How is a mother of an eighth grade girl supposed to know the whole process and what to do?

The elementary school will have a meeting for mothers and explain everything. I believe everyone has to apply to four schools, but again, the school will tell you everything when you have the meeting.

Every school has its detractors and supporters. I can't think of one school that is "bad." Bnos Bais Yakov went through a rough patch, but with the new administration, I think that's in the past. Oros - some people don't like the diversity of the parent body. Some people think that's the best part. SD gets an undeserved reputation as very snobby and kowtowing to the wealthy, and I think that's untrue. BY I think sometimes gets a better rep than it deserves. Not that it's not a good school, but not every girl likes to fade in the background and be exactly like everyone else. BK - because it's less elitist and the "box" is bigger (as Chayalle puts it) sometimes gets an undeserved "more modern" reputation, when it's really just less restrictive and warmer.

My point is - a lot of the hype and reputation of a school is really just that. My best suggestion is to try to talk to some 12th graders in any school you are interested in. Having matured and gone through 4 years of the school, they may be the best ones to guide you.