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SAHM Entering Work Force B/c Of Divorce



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amother
White


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:16 pm
My husband and I are divorcing.

I have been a SAHM for over nine years, since the birth of our oldest child. I have a B.A. from a well-respected university, however, my employment history is spotty because I got married and had my children relatively young. I completed one year of law school, however, returning is not a viable option due to my childcare obligations.

We homeschooled for a few years, and I am excellent at baking challah and desserts. (Maybe I can get a job teaching clueless kallahs how to finesse their way around the kitchen?) I'm fine with going back to school, but really, I need to come up with a job that will let me earn a decent income, particularly as I live in a high cost area and cannot move due to my (likely) custody situation.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:20 pm
There are grants available to women who re-enter the work force after a break for family needs. I'm sorry that I dont know specifics.
Good luck.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:22 pm
What does your lawyer say about alimony?
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:25 pm
what area? can you work towards furthering your education online while either teaching (the very official day schools in NY pay well and on time) or selling baked goods / cakes for simchos / giving classes at home? (neither very good options but just throwing out there)
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:32 pm
If you liked law school you can sign up for a paralegal class at your local community college. It's stimulating work and pays decently.
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amother
White


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:39 pm
Thank you all for the replies!

1) Thank you for suggesting job training grants, I will look into that as an option.

2) Alimony is definitely on the table, but it's not a viable long-term solution. I'd rather plan now, while I have it, than be left scrambling when it runs out.

3) Paralegal studies is an option that I am considering.

4) Baking out of my home for simchas isn't a viable option, since all local simchas are held in shuls that require kosher certification on all foods.

I am so, so ridiculously ka'h smart and capable, I really can't believe that I let myself get into this position.... Sad
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:45 pm
please don't beat yourself up. You did what you felt was in your family's best interest at the time by being a SAHM, for goodness sakes- you even homeschooled! I'm sorry that you are in this situation now that but please don't add salt to injury by beating yourself up!

while your actual job experience might be spotty I would think you might be able to use your homeschooling experience to your benefit. May be you can tutor, or counsel people who are homeschooling for a fee, to earn some cash until you get a new career.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:49 pm
If you wanted to make some cash in the meantime, my mother taught cooking classes to little kids for years through our local park district.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:50 pm
In New York, Workforce New York offers training grants to people who are unemployed. I don't know where you live, but your local unemployment office can offer you help even if you are not collecting unemployment.

If you qualify you can go to college and get government grants/financial aid plus student loans.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 8:50 pm
Check out Apres Group. They are a company that helps SAHMs get back in the workforce. There are companies that have internships for women coming back (as opposed to recent grads) that offer a fast track back to employment. They helped me when I was looking to get back in after several years at home.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 9:52 pm
OP, I am in a very similar position as you and am also tempted to beat myself up but have to force myself not to. Better to look forward and be positive. It will make you much more employable. I love the paralegal idea btw - you can earn quite decent money. Hatzlacha rabah
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 09 2016, 11:28 pm
I wish you much luck! I think executive search may be a good career to look into. It can pay well and doesn't require much education if you have the right skill set.
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cbg




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 1:25 am
http://www.ok.org/kosherspirit.....mids/

I found this article about Angel Fund for the kosher food industry.
Maybe this can help.
They rent out the kitchen with Hashgacha.
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vicki




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 2:24 am
amother wrote:
I am so, so ridiculously ka'h smart and capable, .... Sad

I am so glad you feel this way about yourself. You seem very capable to me.
So, temporarily you will feel down and helpless. So great that you are planning ahead. Imagine how strong you will feel a few years down the line when you know you made a tough but necessary decision, started over and are now making a beautiful and fine life for yourself and your children.
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Henna12




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 12:38 pm
I think you should definitely aim to work for a company vs. making some money on your own, for a few reasons- long term security, taxes will be taken ahead of time vs getting hit with a big bill, and if you work full time you will prob get some insurance benefits...so even if the initial salary seems small it may be more worth it in the end. Something like an executive assistant position would fit the bill.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 12:44 pm
Someone suggested working for an Executive Search Firm. I do recruiting and I like it very much but the salary is not unlimited unless you go into business for yourself. It also has a high burnout rate. I am looking into an HR Certification course just to give myself more options for the future. Paralegal work will pay better long term. It also has more transferable skills to other fields.
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amother
White


 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 7:18 pm
Thank you all for the great advise and suggestions!

I'm realizing that a lot of these ideas, while excellent, will involve significant overtime/after hours work (paralegal, law, executive search, etc.) while I am establishing my career. With four young children, one of whom has extensive therapy needs, that just isn't realistic. I have always had a high aptitude for science, and I enjoy helping people, so I am going to look into careers that are hospital/medical practise based, since they tend to have clearly defined shift hours. Yes, working 12-hour shifts (and night shifts) isn't particularly attractive or convenient, but realistically, I'll benefit from being able to iy"H excel in a job that has clearly defined hours with no expectations of last-minute overtime.

However difficult this is, it's better than living with my soon-to-be-ex...
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 7:23 pm
amother wrote:
Thank you all for the great advise and suggestions!

I'm realizing that a lot of these ideas, while excellent, will involve significant overtime/after hours work (paralegal, law, executive search, etc.) while I am establishing my career. With four young children, one of whom has extensive therapy needs, that just isn't realistic. I have always had a high aptitude for science, and I enjoy helping people, so I am going to look into careers that are hospital/medical practise based, since they tend to have clearly defined shift hours. Yes, working 12-hour shifts (and night shifts) isn't particularly attractive or convenient, but realistically, I'll benefit from being able to iy"H excel in a job that has clearly defined hours with no expectations of last-minute overtime.

However difficult this is, it's better than living with my soon-to-be-ex...


Not trying to push you at all into executive search- but just want to say many work from home and the hours are often just 9-5 when you can call offices. Have you thought about teaching math or science at the high school level? Teaching is a lot of work but often the hours that you need to be out of the home can match well with your kids schedules. Good luck!
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 7:33 pm
Have you looked into nursing? Physician Assistants also earn a good deal of money and, depending where you are, there are many opportunities for part-time or long-shift work.

I have friends who are single divorced moms who like doing three 12 hour days so they can be home with their kids the other days.

I would definitely look into getting "real" job training and education so you can have more stability in the future.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 10 2016, 7:44 pm
nursing can be worthwhile and so can NP. PA school is extremely hard to get into these days- so may not be the best route (they are often looking for people with 1-2 years of experience working with patients before going to PA school).
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