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Only sukka on the block



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amother
Linen


 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 8:35 am
For whatever reason we have one of the only sukkas on the block. A couple people honestly could not put one by them and a couple were just home part of sukkos and choose not to build one.....

They all asked/assumed they can use ours. Normally I would be totally fine with this but we actually live and play and hang out in our not too large sukka. Last night I my kids slept in it with dh - I actually informed people when they asked if they can use it that Dh sleeps in sukka so it won't be available in the mornings or at night.

A couple neighbors wanted to run in really quickly for some food :/ I felt bad turning them away but my kids were asleep!

Now we have all had breakfast and my kids are hanging out going in and out of the sukka playing with toys, reading books etc.... I know a couple neighbors really wanna use it for breakfast. I feel horrible bur my family is having such a good time and should we not dwell in the sukka?

How open does it need to be? Do we really need to provide for the neighborhood? Honestly if we were rich we would put up a second one just for others to use!!
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 8:44 am
If DH is sleeping and kids sleeping, then they need to respect that time parameter, but if your kids are playing, why can't they come in and eat without your kids having to stop playing? I don't know how small the sukkah is, but it seems as long as you are making it available for them to pop in, you are being a good neighbor. You don't need to provide them a quiet sanctuary in which to enjoy their meals. Let the kids play and let them work around it.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 8:56 am
The mizva of hachnatat or him is not only for the rich.

Share your space, you don't have to leave.
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 9:45 am
Set up a couple chairs on the side for guests to pop in and continue like usual.

I think it's weird that the whole block wants to use ur sukka. Why can't at least one other person build a sukka to take the pressure off you?

You can also post a sign with hours that your sukka is available.
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Talya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 10:04 am
amother wrote:
The mizva of hachnatat or him is not only for the rich.

Share your space, you don't have to leave.

Tha good thing about mitzvot like hachnosas orchim is that we can do them when they work for us. OP should feel no obligation to make herself uncomfortable if she doesn't want to. It doesnt have to be an open house. If it's not a mitzvah she feels she can do she should feel absolutely no pressure just because "it's a mitzvah". It sounds like she is in a place to help out a lot but not at all hours. That I'd perfectly legitimate and she shouldn't feel pressured to have an open house.
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 10:09 am
Let them come, but do not feel pressured to get your kids out of the way when they are there. If they don't like it, I'm sure that there is a public Succa that they can use, even if it is a bit further away.

Enjoy your Yom Tov.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 5:43 pm
I think that's very special. Just think - all these people who do the mitzvah ... you're getting a piece of their mitzvah! I wouldn't go out of my way or interrupt my familys sleep etc but I'd be very happy that I'm getting extra 'points' upstairs by doing nothing except being gracious on my part. Your kids will follow your attitude. Be happy about whatever you do - you get to share and to give. Its much more uncomfortable asking and borrowing.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 5:46 pm
That's annoying op, and your neighbors are moochers. You are getting a lot of mitzvahs though and they all owe you favors now.
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ValleyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 6:09 pm
You're so lucky to be getting an opportunity to do so many extra mitzvoth with minimal effort.
I would post a sign that the Sukka is unavailable before 8:30 AM (or whatever time they all wake up) And after 9:00 PM (or whatever time they all go to sleep.

Other than that I think it's awesome that you have the ability to share.
You GO girl!!!
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Goldie613




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 19 2016, 8:39 pm
How far away is the next nearest one? Is there a shul a block or two over that has one, or would people have to start walking 10 + blocks for a meal?

If there's one on the next block, I think you can say (as someone already mentioned) that the sukkah is usable during certain hours, and maybe even let one or two people come when the kids are playing IF you and the kids know them and they wouldn't count as "strangers" as far as your kid's safety goes. The rest of the time they can go elsewhere, and you don't have to feel guilty about it, since there's another option for them nearby.

If the nearest sukkah is quite a ways off you may decide to bend a bit more, but make a mental note for next year that your family will help another family put up their sukkah prior to the chag so that you're not the only one on the block with one (unless you want to offer to help someone put up one now???)

BTW, I would also consider bending more for an elderly couple who can't walk far vs a young couple who can easily walk to another sukkah.

Tizku L'Mitzvot!
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 20 2016, 5:35 am
This is why shuls have a sukkah. It's really nice of you to offer/allow others to share your sukkah but it's SUPER rude of them to assume they can use it whenever they want or even to ask multiple times. If someone is home enough on chag to warrant multiple uses of a sukkah, they should build their own. If it's like they are home for one day of chol hamoed and just need a quick dinner or something, fine. But really, are there no shuls or restaurants nearby?
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amother
Puce


 

Post Thu, Oct 20 2016, 12:33 pm
I have been the sukkah "borrower" before.
Where I live to use a restaurant sukkah you must buy their food. My Shuls sukkah is always packed- one year we waited around for another family to finish a chol hamoed dinner for us to use it. Not comfortable but we did it. We don't have a porch and live in an apartment building. And the other frum family USED the ENTIRE BACKYARD. yes, they have a big family but they couldn't seem to understand our need for a sukkah for our family (and they had plenty of extra space in theirs. They could have shrunk theirs to give us space and still fit their entire family. But no...).
We couldn't use our neighbors sukkah often as they had long drawn out meals, would get annoyed if we came and left as we needed (we have little kids, theirs are teens). So we hopped from neighbor to neighbor. Or DH ate a lot of shahachol, fruit, vegetable foods. Yom tov meals were all eaten out those years. It was really hard.
We didn't barge in morning noon and night or expect it to be vacant.
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 20 2016, 12:39 pm
If you live in a building, aren't there rules about sharing outdoor space? Or were they the owners?
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amother
Puce


 

Post Thu, Oct 20 2016, 3:55 pm
No rules in our lease. We both rent but They were just here forever and didn't care that another frum family moved in. Inconsiderate is all. But that pattern is reflected elsewhere in terms of common space. Like every unit should get a storage compartment in the garage. They took several if not all. Asking the landlord won't help... Absentee as much as possible.

If they owned the building I would have no complaints but they rent too!
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 20 2016, 4:08 pm
amother wrote:
No rules in our lease. We both rent but They were just here forever and didn't care that another frum family moved in. Inconsiderate is all. But that pattern is reflected elsewhere in terms of common space. Like every unit should get a storage compartment in the garage. They took several if not all. Asking the landlord won't help... Absentee as much as possible.

If they owned the building I would have no complaints but they rent too!


Mark your calendar for next year. About 2 weeks before Rosh Hashana, approach them. "Hi, Shlomo. We wanted to talk about sukkahs. We're going to put ours in the front left corner of the yard; its about YxY. So you'll have the back right. But we're pretty flexible, if you'd rather switch it." If they balk or complain, don't say you're going to the landlord; they know that won't help. "Unfortunately, that leaves us without a place to eat. I'll tell you what. I'll make an appointment for us to talk to Rav Whomever; he'll tell us what to do."
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amother
Teal


 

Post Thu, Oct 20 2016, 4:23 pm
amother wrote:
No rules in our lease. We both rent but They were just here forever and didn't care that another frum family moved in. Inconsiderate is all. But that pattern is reflected elsewhere in terms of common space. Like every unit should get a storage compartmenta in the garage. They took several if not all. Asking the landlord won't help... Absentee as much as possible.

If they owned the building I would have no complaints but they rent too!


We recently bought a house that had a tenant living there already and we really bent over backwards to be fair about sharing the yard/garage. Our sukka does take up our entire (small) yard but they're not Jewish and it's too cold for the kids to play outside anyway. In fact tenant helped us build the sukka.
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