What to bring our host for yomtov meal

Fri, Oct 21 2016, 4:26 am

Maybe tell your hostess you want to bring something, and she should recommend what.

You can make something that you do well, and let her know that you are bringing it.

If she has kids, maybe a game for them.

A side thing that can be used regardless of what the meal is from, like cake, wine, candy, a crystal piece, $$, a gift certificate.

Fri, Oct 21 2016, 1:42 pm

amother wrote:

If I tell her I'd like to bring something she'll say don't bring anything.

Should I make something? A yummy cake?

Say it as a matter of fact, point blank, "I am bringing something!" instead of "I'd like to bring something." If she still insists, bring whatever you feel like. At least she won't insist next time around. Personally, if I were in this situation, I would bring a toy or game for the kids.

amother

Bronze

Sat, Oct 22 2016, 2:13 pm

I like to bring a nice set of salad serving spoons, a set of small serving dishes, a game or toy for the kids, a good bottle of wine/whiskey, good chocolate, nice bouquet flowers or orchids. Can be more than one of the above, especially if we are sleeping over or there for more than one meal. It also depends on the host, not everyone cares about flowers or wine.

I spend a decent amount of money on gifts because I appreciate the hosts time and money they spent on the meal. I would spend a good amount of time and money at home on a meal especially with guests so I don't mind spending more.

Alternatively I like to prepare a special salad or dessert. I don't ask what I can make I just say "I'm bringing a salad and brownies, is that ok?" Nobody has ever refused! Everyone appreciates help.

chicco

Sat, Oct 22 2016, 8:37 pm

Personally, I find it annoying when people bring food without asking and/or telling me what they are bringing. I've prepared a meal, and put the thought and effort into it. I do not appreciate that you brought a dessert unannounced.

Wine is always great; if they don't like it, they can regift. Jewish cookbooks are a really nice gift, as are serving pieces and games. Flowers is standard and boring, but still a nice gesture.

etky

Sun, Oct 23 2016, 12:57 am

chicco wrote:

One of my pet peeves too.
What does a guest who brings something prepared unannounced achieve? Does she make the meal prep any easier for her hostess? On the contrary, often an extra dish/dessert that the hostess then feels obligated to serve at the meal generates food wastage and can sometimes make the food the hostess prepared herself, not to mention the time, effort and money that went into it, superfluous.
If you want to contribute to the meal the considerate thing to do is inform the hostess beforehand. And I agree with the amother above me who just announces she is bringing brownies and a salad. I'm the type who always responds 'nothing needed' when a guest asks if she should bring anything. However, phrased as a statement with the dish specified, I would be much more inclined to accept the generous offer and to then incorporate the guest's food into my menu planning. In fact I would be very happy to have one less dish/course to prepare.
As for gifts - salad servers are my 'trademark' hostess gift. On repeat visits to the same people I often bring another item like a trivet, a netillat yadayim towel, a small candy/salad bowl or cake plate or an item of Judaica relevant to the holiday at hand.