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Older Single Girls Vactioning in Israel & Looking for Meals
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 12:13 am
If you can afford to pay $200 per person per meal then you could and should give maaser/tzedka/have guests and invite anniyim to your table .
However, I agree that they sound more interested in a luxury meal then needing tzedakah. It is still a chessed if you can do it
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amother
Wine


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 12:21 am
notshanarishona wrote:
If you can afford to pay $200 per person per meal then you could and should give maaser/tzedka/have guests and invite anniyim to your table .
However, I agree that they sound more interested in a luxury meal then needing tzedakah. It is still a chessed if you can do it


People don't seem to realize that those who are staying at high end hotels in Israel are already usually giving thousands of dollars
tzedaka on a regular basis. I don't know why people think otherwise.
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 12:52 am
Sometimes in Israel a meal will cost proportionately more than the hotel stay. Say a night for a couple with supper and breakfast costs 1000 shekels; just inviting someone to supper can cost half that.

In any case, I suppose that if the op is insanely wealthy, that might change the game. But likely she just saved up a long time for this special vacation, in which case it's doubtful that she has an extra $600 laying around to treat these ladies.
I don't see where it's a chessed to treat fully functioning, capable, travelling adults to luxury hotel meals. I also dont understand this culture of needing to afix yourself to a strange family in order for it to feel like a real chag. They arent travelling solo. Three or four women together can make a very festive meal and chag atmosphere.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 3:29 am
I was an "older single" (I really hate that phrase) living in Katamon and I always had friends from the states visiting for chagim (staying in hotels or rented apartments) and I hosted meals for them and my friends who live here all the time. When they needed second day meals they usually pre-paid at a hotel or restaurant or ordered take out in advance. I never heard of asking to be a guest. I know seminary girls who do this, and I don't think it's right, but I never heard of 30-40 year olds asking for free meals from people staying in a hotel.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 4:43 am
amother wrote:
The Waldorf is the hotel that charges $200 to $250 a meal that's not An assumption. This is a fact.

Someone else wrote that these singles run away from home because it's too painful to see siblings having grandchildren. If someone was comfortable at home they would stay home.

And I never said that op can't enjoy her Yom Tov what bothered me was that she wrote that she would rather give that money to charity so if that was the case stay in a cheaper place and give more money to charity. I didn't like her self righteousness that she couldn't do a chesed because charity is more important. Op wrote that I just continued her post.

Again she doesn't have to host these girls but instead of coming on here to complain about their chutzpah of asking for a meal come on here and thank Hashem that you are married and have money to spend so much on Yom Tov and try to think of a shidduch for them.

OP here
I am not staying at the Waldorf. The Waldorf and all the hotels will allow you to stay as many days as you want and for Shabbos only!!
When you book a 8 or 10 day package in any of these hotels besides the Waldorf you can get a meal package for your immediete family that is sleeping in the room so our meals are not costing so much. It's the meals for guests that are costly. These high prices are in the Plaza and Citadel also.
Renting an apartment can be more then staying in a hotel especially if you want an apartment with a very large sukkah to host. Most apartments come with sukkahs to fit 6 - 8 people the most.
I also work full time so I don't have time to cook my food in advance and freeze it. And this is my only vacation for the entire year.
I said I rather give my money to charity meaning that I rather give money to people that can't afford to eat rather them single girls vacationing or seminary girl or yeshiva guys where their parents don't have the decency to call or text to say thank you and they feel like its coming to their kids.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 4:48 am
amother wrote:
OP here

Renting an apartment can be more then staying in a hotel especially if you want an apartment with a very large sukkah to host. Most apartments come with sukkahs to fit 6 - 8 people the most.


Most apartments come with succot that fit on the mirpeset. I work for a company that does this; we put up over 50 succot between Rosh Hashana & YK and the only limitation was the available area. Some of the apartments have succot for over 20 people!
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 5:17 am
Marion wrote:
Most apartments come with succot that fit on the mirpeset. I work for a company that does this; we put up over 50 succot between Rosh Hashana & YK and the only limitation was the available area. Some of the apartments have succot for over 20 people!

The brokers that I spoke to all wanted more money for the apartments with larger Sukkot. I am here on vacation for crying at loud. I can stay home and cook if I wanted to host.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 6:04 am
Everything about this thread is mystifying to me: the phenomenon of older single girls 'escaping' to Israel for the chagim but expecting other tourists to act as surrogate family, the expectation that OP host them in any form or fashion while she is here on vacation when they are not 'needy' in any real sense, especially as they must be aware of the crazy exorbitant prices that the hotels are asking (gouging...) for meals, and these 'girls' lack of resourcefulness (laziness?) when there are so many more affordable and self-respecting options for them to celebrate yomtov (takeout, cheaper meals in more modest hotels, getting set up for meals with local families etc).
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 6:07 am
notshanarishona wrote:
If you can afford to pay $200 per person per meal then you could and should give maaser/tzedka/have guests and invite anniyim to your table .
However, I agree that they sound more interested in a luxury meal then needing tzedakah. It is still a chessed if you can do it

If they can afford to spend >$1000 each for airline tickets, plus stay in E"Y during the chaggim (high season), and if they (as the OP said) take several vacations a year, then they are not exactly charity cases.

Perhaps the OP gives maaser/tzedka... to people who are truly in need.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 8:11 am
If op doesn't really know them then how does she know that they take several vacations a year?

Does op know these singles or not? And she said they didn't ask her outright for meals she felt that they himted. Question Maybe op is overly sensitive. And they Have no interest at all for meals.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 9:18 am
DrMom wrote:
If they can afford to spend >$1000 each for airline tickets, plus stay in E"Y during the chaggim (high season), and if they (as the OP said) take several vacations a year, then they are not exactly charity cases.

Perhaps the OP gives maaser/tzedka... to people who are truly in need.


I agree that they in this specific situation they are not charity cases.
I was just saying the idea of someone eating such expensive meals and not having money suddenly to invite guests sounds selfish.
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 9:21 am
amother wrote:
OP here
I am not staying at the Waldorf. The Waldorf and all the hotels will allow you to stay as many days as you want and for Shabbos only!!
When you book a 8 or 10 day package in any of these hotels besides the Waldorf you can get a meal package for your immediete family that is sleeping in the room so our meals are not costing so much. It's the meals for guests that are costly. These high prices are in the Plaza and Citadel also.
Renting an apartment can be more then staying in a hotel especially if you want an apartment with a very large sukkah to host. Most apartments come with sukkahs to fit 6 - 8 people the most.
I also work full time so I don't have time to cook my food in advance and freeze it. And this is my only vacation for the entire year.
I said I rather give my money to charity meaning that I rather give money to people that can't afford to eat rather them single girls vacationing or seminary girl or yeshiva guys where their parents don't have the decency to call or text to say thank you and they feel like its coming to their kids.


I don't know what type of fancy vacation apartment rentals you are looking up but you can definitely rent a apartment with a sukkah for under $1500 in several neighborhoods in Jerusalem I.e. Har Nof, Maalot Dafna, Ramat Eshkol, etc.. If you are looking for a fancy apartment in Rechavia maybe it's more expensive but especially if you are that many people that you need space for more than 6-8 people in no way is a hotel comparable in price even to getting catering for all meals.
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 9:43 am
notshanarishona wrote:
I don't know what type of fancy vacation apartment rentals you are looking up but you can definitely rent a apartment with a sukkah for under $1500 in several neighborhoods in Jerusalem I.e. Har Nof, Maalot Dafna, Ramat Eshkol, etc.. If you are looking for a fancy apartment in Rechavia maybe it's more expensive but especially if you are that many people that you need space for more than 6-8 people in no way is a hotel comparable in price even to getting catering for all meals.


Ummmm......it's her vacation. I assume she made the best decision for her circumstances. Many people prefer the convenience of hotel accommodation.
And in any case, finances aside, vacation is usually family time. Inviting 3-4 extra guests totally changes the dynamics of the meal. If they were needy then of course it's a chessed to figure something out...but a group of well-off travelling women (yes, women)? Give me a break.
As etki said, I find this mystifying. The young women I know would far prefer to host their own happening meal in their room than join a family they are just aquaintances with.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 9:44 am
amother wrote:
OP here
I am not staying at the Waldorf. The Waldorf and all the hotels will allow you to stay as many days as you want and for Shabbos only!!
When you book a 8 or 10 day package in any of these hotels besides the Waldorf you can get a meal package for your immediete family that is sleeping in the room so our meals are not costing so much. It's the meals for guests that are costly. These high prices are in the Plaza and Citadel also.
Renting an apartment can be more then staying in a hotel especially if you want an apartment with a very large sukkah to host. Most apartments come with sukkahs to fit 6 - 8 people the most.
I also work full time so I don't have time to cook my food in advance and freeze it. And this is my only vacation for the entire year.
I said I rather give my money to charity meaning that I rather give money to people that can't afford to eat rather them single girls vacationing or seminary girl or yeshiva guys where their parents don't have the decency to call or text to say thank you and they feel like its coming to their kids.

You don't need to justify your vacation to the posters here. And no need to overextend yourself in this situation. Enjoy your family time.
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treestump




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 9:44 am
Tablepoetry wrote:
Ummmm......it's her vacation. I assume she made the best decision for her circumstances. Many people prefer the convenience of hotel accommodation.
And in any case, finances aside, vacation is usually family time. Inviting 3-4 extra guests totally changes the dynamics of the meal. If they were needy then of course it's a chessed to figure something out...but a group of well-off travelling women (yes, women)? Give me a break.
As etki said, I find this mystifying. The young women I know would far prefer to host their own happening meal in their room than join a family they are just aquaintances with.


Yes, this. I don't understand why people are judging her for staying in a hotel, and not wanting to pay hundreds more dollars for casual acquaintances who can perfectly well arrange their own meals.
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MamaBear




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 10:16 am
1. What exactly did they say to you? I.e. "We'd love to join you?"

2. I suspect these particular women were not socially off but I have an older son on the autism spectrum and when I read these threads about people's reactions to things others say and do, I automatically fear for his future. Will there one day be threads about him that start "Can you believe this guy?!?...." Some people are just clueless or spoiled or rude but some just can't help themselves....
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Oct 23 2016, 10:37 am
Yes, some people truly are a bit socially clueless. The kindest thing in that situation is just to gently come right our and tell them it won't work out.
If they are truly being pushy, well, that's a personality trait, not a stage in life. Nothing to do with being single. You don't have any obligation to say yes to pushy requests in any situation. It's part of being adult, knowing how to say no. In any case, since they didn't come right out and ask, what's the big deal? Just ignore the hints. It's not like you'll bump into them in the store back home and feel awkward.
Honestly, op, your post comes across as being annoyed and resentful at the idea that "older singles" having the temerity to go on an expensive vacation that somehow should only be taken by married couples who worked hard to save up the money. Just like you are entitled to spend money however you like, so are they.
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Liebs




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Oct 24 2016, 7:08 pm
amother wrote:
They are looking for somebody to pick up the tab.
Back at home before we left neighbors were looking for us to take care of their kids that are in Yeshiva or Seminary for the year. I don't understand where people think its okay for them to ask. There are those that enjoy throwing meals for fifty strangers in hotels but too me its a waste of money and I would rather give the money to chairty.

It said "older single girls"...for yeshiva and sem students yeah I agree it's insane!!

And to those who were surprised...I know firsthand of 2 older singles that were here to "escape" their families-well not their families but their pain! Married siblings move in taking over the house. They don't have the quiet and clean they are used to and it's their little siblings. I've watched my friends...it's painful to have to be away too but they try to make it an "experience" and running around and trips and eating at all these fun places.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 25 2016, 1:12 am
Liebs wrote:
It said "older single girls"...for yeshiva and sem students yeah I agree it's insane!!

And to those who were surprised...I know firsthand of 2 older singles that were here to "escape" their families-well not their families but their pain! Married siblings move in taking over the house. They don't have the quiet and clean they are used to and it's their little siblings. I've watched my friends...it's painful to have to be away too but they try to make it an "experience" and running around and trips and eating at all these fun places.

Haggim are noisy and disruptive for almost everyone.

I also don't have the clean and quiet I am used to on haggim.

Hey, OP: Where's my $250 meal? Don't you think you owe it to me?
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Tue, Oct 25 2016, 2:11 am
amother wrote:
They are looking for somebody to pick up the tab.
Back at home before we left neighbors were looking for us to take care of their kids that are in Yeshiva or Seminary for the year. I don't understand where people think its okay for them to ask. There are those that enjoy throwing meals for fifty strangers in hotels but too me its a waste of money and I would rather give the money to chairty.
[quote]

A waste of money? Ok but maybe it's good to charity those young students.
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