The man you dated vs. the one you married

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amother

Lilac

Wed, Nov 09 2016, 4:36 pm

The man I dated was sensitive, a good listener, caring, but lacking in confidence.
The man I am married to now continues to be sensitive, is an even better listener and super caring and has grown in confidence in leaps and bounds.
The woman my husband dated was wonderful, although lacking in paitence and unquestionable acceptance. The woman he is married to now has so much more patience and is more accepting of other people's faults.
Marriage is a partnership. We all have faults and the work and effort we put in to each other has potential to change both ourselves and our spouse.

* I understand this may not be the case when there is an emotional/ mental illness or deficit. And I hope no one takes this post to put blame on themselves for a spouses faults!

rachel0615

Wed, Nov 09 2016, 4:43 pm

The man I dates was positive, optimistic, a hard worker, thoughtful and sensitive.

The man I am married to struggles with being positive, has low self esteem and comes from a very unstable household.. He is so loving, willing to constantly work on our marriage and communication and always willing to help. He is aware of his weaknesses and uses them to try to become a better person and to help others not struggle from what he struggles with. He def has baggage I was not anticipating but I also could not have known the depth of love and understanding he would bring into my life. The package can be rough at times, but I would not trade it for the world.

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Nov 09 2016, 5:08 pm

Pretty much the same guy, except we share more things with each other and aren't always trying to be our absolute best self. I can joke with him about my IBS and the horrible situations that have resulted. I can cry on him about feelings and experiences I wouldn't have shared with others. He does the same with me. We learned to tolerate each others' annoying habits, and to change to accommodate each other.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Nov 09 2016, 6:38 pm

The girl my husband dated was smart, funny, intelligent, successful (based on school jobs and camp positions) oh and sooo thin. That girl knew exactly what she wanted out of life and what type of home she would build. The wife that she became has so many doubts and has fertility issues and was diagnosed with adhd. At times she struggles with the most basic things like having clean laundry and healthy suppers.

To be fair, the man that I dated was serious, a learner, good looking, a tad shy. The man I married has a chronic illness, is overweight, snores, works all day, forgets anniversaries....

Together we are the greatest team. We both grew and matured tremendously throughout this journey. We learned how life is not so black and white. I'm glad my husband isn't the guy I dated. He is so much more caring now. Becoming a dad really changed him and myself. Long are gone the inoccent days.

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