Noticing Developmental Delays before Kindergarten

amother

Ecru

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 8:06 pm

I am kind of feeling down and would love to hear your thoughts. My son is 4 years old and has a December birthday. He is attending a full day wonderful preschool. We have been working with him on his speech delays since he was really young. We were hoping this was his only delay. He has improved wonderfully and his peers rarely pick up on his delays. Unfortunately though I am feeling very discouraged for him. Last year I and his teacher noticed he wasnt "chapping" his aleph bet and stories. He isn't even working on aleph bet this year. I got him assistance through the city for a teacher to come out and work with him in the class. So currently he is receiving both speech and teaching assistance once a week for both. It is very hard to see his friends exceed his abilities and the more they learn the more I am noticing a educational delay. He can't recite his ABCs let alone recognize any letters except for his name which we drilled in him constantly, doesnt always remember details of stories. He can count to thirteen but starts babbling out of order after that. He sometimes surprises me and brings things up weeks later but it seems as if short term memory is lacking. While his friends are listing off states etc he is still at the basics if even that. What else can I do for him? Should I hold him in preschool next year...he is one of the oldest already. Is he on a path for a lifetime of delays..dyslexia....struggling?

His strengths are:
Artistic, very social and loving, great sense of humor. Really strong with physical tasks such as building structures and climbing etc.

12rivkyk34

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 8:20 pm

I would say keeping him back in preschool again would be detrimental to his social development as you say he is social and has a great senew of humor and already is of the oldest of the class. So it's not the level that's hard it's the material. Try to get him a full educational evaluation and work on the areas he's falling short through any services you can get. Increase speech therapy to twice a week, see if there's a mathnasium program in your area, look into letter recognition programs. Its great that you're catching on early and anything you do now will surely benefit him in the future. Good luck.

anonymrs

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 8:29 pm

Two things:

1) I cannot stress this enough, it is critical for your child's development that he is not compared to other children, EVER. Really. He is his own person and he will develop at his own pace, regardless of what his peers are or are not doing.

2) All the things that you mention are language-related. If he has trouble with language, then yes, those tasks will be more challenging for him. For some children, they do catch up at around 6 or 7 and do fine. Others may struggle for longer.

3) Are you doing anything with him at home on a daily basis to help build his short term memory and to help his language skills? Speech therapy works best when you carry over what the therapist is working on throughout the week.

naomi2

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 8:29 pm

It's a hard call. Being very behind academically could also hurt his self esteem. I would call a meeting with the principal, teacher and his therapists aND discuss options. They see him in a different setting and they also know the level of the other kids in his class. They may have some important insight that will help you decide for the future.

seeker

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 9:02 pm

I would look into a special school. There are several programs for kids that age with the types of difficulties you are describing that really do wonders. Often a couple of years of high-quality intervention at this age can put a kid on the path to success in the future, while letting them slide by in mainstream even with support services can backfire pretty sadly.

If you're in NY you can PM me for a few suggestions of places you could call for a tour just to see what they offer.

imasinger

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 9:26 pm

He sounds like a wonderful boy!

We all have our challenges at some point in life. Knowing what they are at an early age, and getting proper support, is a great thing.

If you haven't done so, please have him completely evaluated.

Even if you did something a couple of years ago, it's definitely worth doing again.

It makes no difference if he is a year older than his classmates.

Zero. None.

Find out in detail what his current challenges are, and whether your best course of action is another year of preschool with support, or the kind of special school seeker mentioned.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 9:43 pm

Thank you for the replies. Unfortunately we live in a state where services are limited. My understanding is that in order to qualify for a special school the child would need to prove that a public school setting is not working. It is a costly and uphill battle. The thought of putting him in public school now makes me sad and I wonder how better off they are.
I like the idea of calling a meeting but I'm thinking maybe I need to wait until we are a bit further in the year? They are just starting the letters now. I will speak to pediatrician about full assessment. He has had countless assessments through the county but not in depth. I know not to compare and I am more than OK with average. It is hard not to notice the stark differences though between him and the other children.

seeker

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 10:26 pm

The costly uphill battle might be worth it, depending on what the special school offers. Also, I know people who have moved to New York State (either permanently or for a few years) to access better school choices for their kids. Of course that won't work for everyone, but it's been done successfully. You don't literally need to put your kid in a public school, the point is to prove that the school of your choice offers something that is not possible in the public school. Again, if you're not in NY then I don't know what your choices are, but here there are special needs private schools that offer more specialized programs using modalities that are not offered by the public school system. Depending on the school and the child's needs, you can make a case like that and often win - NOBODY in the private special schools is actually paying out of pocket. Literally nobody, in the schools that I asked specifically. And if you win the case the dept of ed needs to pay back your legal fees as well (the retainer can really make you hold your breath though.)

I hope I'm not coming off pushy, it's just that your description of your son makes it sound like he really needs something different than a mainstream school will offer. Unless maybe you have a truly exceptional school. The ones I'm familiar with tend to be insufficient. They offer as much as they can and accommodate for the rest by lowering expectations, but they aren't really structured at the core to help children like this succeed.

A good private evaluation is the right starting point in any case, go to someone who is known to also give well-targeted recommendations in addition to a diagnosis.