Making a kiddush this Shabbos. Do I eat?

amother

Aqua

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:35 pm

We're making a kiddush this Shabbos in honor of a simcha. People will be coming over to with me mazel tov. Should I be eating cake/kugel etc. or should I just be accepting mazel tovs and not eating?

alwayscooking

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:42 pm

From past experience I don't really eat by my own Simcha. I don't think it appears polite of course a drink is always acceptable. Once things quiet down and it starts emptying out at that point I think it's ok.

tichellady

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 7:48 pm

whatever you want! I ate at my own wedding even though everyone told me I wouldn't.

agreer

Thu, Nov 10 2016, 11:17 pm

It's awkward to eat at your own kiddush. If it was a meal, that's one thing, but just in and out? I wouldn't.

Tirza

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 12:04 am

Doesn't this seem to you like another one of those things that is only expected of women? OP, is your husband worrying about whether or not to eat at his own kiddush? (I'm betting he's not worried about this at all.)

SRB

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 12:31 am

Eat if you are hungry. I think it's silly to not eat at your own kiddish if you want to. I hope no one would think you are not being polite if they see you eating, I wouldn't. I would think its normal or nothing at all since everyone else is eating. Perhaps take smaller than normal bites because people will probably interupt you to say mazal tov.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 12:52 am

WHAT?????????? YOu are paying for a kiddush. It is YOUR family's simcha.
OF COURSE you should eat. What narishkeit not to eat.
I also ate at my own wedding.
OP, enjoy your kiddush, but why not eat? As someone else said, do you think your husband is even thinking this at all? Most probably not.
Im sorry, but I cant wrap my head around this.
EAT! Eat to your heart's content. Its YOUR kiddush.

tigerwife

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 1:08 am

From my experience, there usually isn't time to eat because you will be accepting mazel tovs from everyone. Once it quiets down, the family usually makes a beeline for the food (hopefully there will still be some good stuff left at the end! Wink

)
Mazel tov and enjoy your Simcha!

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 5:49 am

Certainly it is not rude to eat at your own kiddush. It is rude to talk with your mouth full. Also, depending on the circumstances, you may need to run around dealing with last-minute arrangements. For these two reasons, hosts (both male and female) may not have a chance to eat as much as usual.

Iymnok

Fri, Nov 11 2016, 5:53 am

Before it starts, make a big plate of the best goodies for yourself. Over it and hide it well.
I found that during I wanted to be available to my guests.

Also cut one slice out of every cake or they will remain whole till the end.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Nov 13 2016, 5:06 am

Thanks for all the advice. I did take one small piece of cake for mezonos just to be yotzei kiddush, but then I waited until almost everyone had left to eat anything else. I really didn't have a chance in between all the mazel tovs. Some of the cakes I had wanted to try were gone by the time I got around to eating, but I was glad to see that people had enjoyed them and there was still something left for me to eat. I'm glad I did it this way.

sweetpotato

Sun, Nov 13 2016, 9:10 am

Wow, I never thought of this. The only kiddushes I've made have been for baby namings. For my first daughter, I didn't eat at all because I was so preoccupied taking care of the new baby--I really suffered for it though. For my second, another mother saw I wasn't eating, made me a plate with a bagel and lox and everything, made me wash and sat me down till I finished! So if you're talking about eating during the kiddush for your child's bris or baby naming, then I say absolutely you must! Otherwise, I have no idea-- I would never think it was weird to see the host enjoying the food along with all her guests, though.

mille

Sun, Nov 13 2016, 10:42 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

TOTALLY agree with this. Says someone who was wolfing down TWO desserts at my own wedding while they were singing shir hamaalot Wink

It's your simcha, you need to enjoy it!!

I would most definitely not make a kiddush unless I got to eat some of it! Wink