Meltdowns after video time need advice

amother

Crimson

Sun, Nov 20 2016, 5:33 pm

I am noticing that my son, 6, is having trouble transitioning after watching videos. In the next hour or two he gets upset easily, will have a hard time with decisions, doing honework, taking turns, handling a no, basically I can expect a meltdown. Today after watching he told me that his body is weak, his muscles and he can't move. He has some sensory issues and some adhd symptoms. I don't know if it's related. Has anyone had experience with this and what did you do? As an aside he watches videos straight for about 2-2 1/2 hours on specified days of the week. I know its a bit too much but right now don't have the energy to fight with him. The other days of the week we go to the library, play with friends etc... it seems to me that his brain is still on the video and his upset at having to stop his favorite activity. Any input is appreciated.

rachel6543

Sun, Nov 20 2016, 5:59 pm

I have this exact issue with my kid. He's most likely ADHD. I find ANY video/computer/iPad use usually causes him to act out. He gets wired up and hyperactive after any use. My kid is 8 yrs old and I've noticed this issue for many years. I honestly found it was best to significantly reduce all electronic time. It's usually limited to once a week at most on Friday before candle lighting or if there's an emergency (I.e. like when I had to go to the ER a few months ago and he was dragged with). Occasionally it's allowed on a Sunday afternoon or on a long car drive. I find my kid is just so much better behaved when he does not use it at all.

animeme

Sun, Nov 20 2016, 6:13 pm

feigeleh wrote:

yes my kids are usually less well behaved after they watch too much video
I basically don't let during the week and only after they are ready in pajamas with nothing else left to do

I understand why you would do this- I used to do it too. But FYI, any screen time within a hakf hour to an hour before bedtime messes up sleep cycles. It can actually prevent melatonin build up, which is how we get tired at night.

markmywords

Sun, Nov 20 2016, 9:18 pm

Kids with adhd have trouble with transitioning.
It is very helpful to lay out the plan (general schedule) in advance to your child, and give them periodic warnings to let them know how time is progressing.
These kids can't monitor time well, and need the outside prompts and reminders to help them gauge where they're holding.
If your child likes drawing, you can have them make a time line with pictures that they draw.

5 Study

Give a half-way warning, and then again 5 minutes before ending ("5 more minutes for video watching"). Better yet, set an egg timer or a phone alarm next to him and let him know in advance and when it rings what it means. He'll get used to the audio warnings.
Also, try pre-correcting. Let him know beforehand that if video time ends without any meltdowns, x,y, or z (pick a small reward he would like) will happen. If there's a meltdown, a or b will happen (20 minutes less of video time next time (and follow through!).

Also,
I'd recommend being selective with types of videos you allow.
Boys this age tend to choose super hero type of videos with a lot of action.
Monkey see, monkey do.
Try to select less stimulating videos, if possible.

markmywords

Sun, Nov 20 2016, 9:24 pm

By the way, I can totally relate to sticking your kid in front of a video for 2 1/2 hours.
It's honestly to preserve your sanity and to be able to relate like a human to your kid (instead of directing, scolding, prompting, yelling, wanting to tear your hair out, etc.).

Maybe it would be helpful to break the 2 1/2 hours into time with built in breaks?
30-60 minute segments, with bathroom, dinner, bath, etc, breaks in between.
I can imagine your kid won't take well to this.
It is tough in the beginning, but with forewarning, and rewards built in, you might find it easier.

gold21

Sun, Nov 20 2016, 9:28 pm

Many kids- regular normal kids- turn into zombie monsters after watching a video. It's rather common.

You're much better off giving the child screen time in the form of iPad video games than allowing the child to watch a movie.
Kids transition off of video games much more easily than off of movies.

I rarely allow movies.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 12:40 pm

Thank u all for responding. The takeaway for me is to prepare him before about his meltdowns, shave time off of video watching until we cut it down to 45 minutes (hoping if I do it over a long period he won't notice ), and have him take breaks . Ultimately I do want to cut it out completely.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 12:50 pm

DD was like this when she was younger. I cut her off entirely. She tantrumed like crazy for about a week, but I kept reminding her that this behavior was exactly why she could not watch videos anymore. Eventually she figured out other things to do, and let it go.

Now that she's older, I've slowly let her be more in control of how much she watches. Last night she woke up early, and was in my room complaining that she couldn't get back to sleep. I said "Why don't you go on your computer?" She told me "If I do that, it will wake me up. I'll get sucked in, and won't be able to sleep at all!" I was SO proud of her that she has figured out cause and effect, and how to be self regulating. (She's 13)

Younger kids don't have the ability to be so self aware, and they need us to set limits for them, even when they cry and hate us for it. It pays off in the long run.

mha3484

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 1:02 pm

My (almost) 6 year old gets one episode of Curious George or Thomas the train if he has done all of his bed time routine without arguments or excessive dawdling. He has finally started to internalize that all of the required things need to be done before the optional things. If he was exceptionally well behaved he gets two episodes. He still gets cranky when we turn it off. I find it works as a good motivator to get him moving.

amother

Smokey

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 1:06 pm

Maybe my experience will be helpful... when I let my kids watch fast-paced or cartoon type videos, they resist stopping and are crazy afterwards. When I let them watch more low-key things--most notably Mr. Rogers!--that move at the pace of normal life, they eventually stop on their own and when they do, they are usually calm and peaceful... I love Mr. Rogers. Though if a kid is really used to the other type, might be hard to get used to if. You can find Mr. Rogers on pbskids.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 5:18 pm

Queen6 wrote:

Stop the video watching - most your problems will be solved. It turns their brains into mush and doesn't let them sleep. Why can't they play a game or make a project for down time? Videos are killing them.

His only other sibling is a baby so he has nobody to play with. We don't have that many neighbors his age. I had a really hard pregnancy and videos kept our sanity. My baby is really hard so iam not always able to entertain him. He does not enjoy crafts and is a bit young to be playing all afternoon by himself. I struggle with depression and anxiety which doesnt help matters. It is what it is.

markmywords

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 7:16 pm

I agree that videos really are overall less then desirable.
However, there are some kids that just simply cannot self entertain.
I think you have to know your kid and your capability.
People can say all they want that videos are evil but you need to know what you can handle.
These posters may not have or have had a child like yours.
They may also be much more against videos as a rule than you are.

Merrymom

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 8:57 pm

I think watching videos aggravates adhd symptoms. Children like that need to move around a lot sometime. If they're zoning out for a couple of hours they can't just go into quiet mode, doing homework etc. It's very important to let them just play for awhile or not allow more than 30 minutes of video time on a school night. Also they must get their sleep, more so than other kids. If they are difficult with bedtime, an occasional melatonin tablet is still better than having an overtired yet amped up child.

As for self entertainment, it's important to rotate your toys and make sure you have enough so they don't get bored. In some of my siblings homes, their kids seem to be always ripping something or coloring on the walls, just because they're bored. I have a houseful of children, a couple that are add and adhd, and I don't have that. I'd be happy to give you some suggestions of toys that will really keep them entertained for hours, even when they're alone.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Nov 21 2016, 9:43 pm

Merrymom wrote:

Would love ideas, though he does have a lot of toys. I will list and fill in anything else.
Magna tiles, clics, duplo, container of cars, car mat, train tracks (2), a few dress up costumes, bop it, 15-20 trucks, play dough (doesn't like playing be his hand are weak), mitzvah kinder also doesn't play with, a bunch of stuffed animals, set of octonauts that he plays with in the bath, container of plastic animals and container of mentchies (mostly Playmobil ppl), Playmobil construction set. Thank you.