Relating to cleaning lady

seeker

Tue, Dec 13 2016, 10:03 pm

So after years of being afraid to spoil myself, I have finally seen the light and have started to hire a cleaning lady when I'm desperate and she's available, which ends up happening about once a month or less.

I don't really have a frame of reference for this. I didn't grow up with household help. I feel uncomfortable being the "boss" especially of someone doing such menial work for me. I feel awkward telling her what to do when she is working so hard and doing so well. I finally got up the gumption today to give some more directions about things like where to start and what to pay attention to, but I still mostly stand back and let her do her magic. The problem is when her magic includes things like stacking the dishes in the cupboard while they're still dripping wet. I feel like I really shouldn't complain because what's it to me if I have to go in there and dry the dishes after she leaves, it's enough of a feat that she washed two sets of service for 8 in less than 20 minutes!

But I'm thinking it might not be a bad idea to learn how to give instructions.

Also, I'm scared to alienate her because she is saving my life and she is affordable.

Tips? Thoughts?

gold21

Tue, Dec 13 2016, 10:11 pm

Lol. I have a similar fear of being too bossy.

And my cleaning lady also used to put dishes away wet. My solution is that I asked her not to put dishes away anymore, let them air dry.

Anyway, over time I have developed a very good relationship with my cleaning lady. We're very friendly. I think these relationships take time. She is always looking out for me, giving me helpful advice, etc, and I rarely criticize her work. But it took time to get here.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Dec 13 2016, 10:20 pm

You're not doing yourself or her a favor if you don't really get the help you could from her.
You should express your appreciation and feel extremely comfortable showing her how you like things done.
Have you ever worked for someone and gotten feedback? It's encouraging.
She is there to help. Imagine she comes in and asks 'any instructions for me today?' Address her every time as if she asked that.

seeker

Tue, Dec 13 2016, 10:21 pm

I actually don't ask her to do the dishes, she just seems to really like to. She used to always start with the dishes which I guess makes a good head start in the kitchen but today I was worried she wouldn't have enough time for the rest of the house so when she started going toward the dishes I directed her to start with the bathroom and continue with the living room and do the dishes last only if there's time. But generally I don't have to give her any directions because she just does her thing - she comes into my disaster zone, flits around like the Magic School Bus or something, and leaves everything looking functional. I don't CARE if another cleaning lady would take my exact directions and leave the spot I directed them to sparkling. I don't think they would have the same effect. She went through my entire apartment in less than two hours INCLUDING the dishes! True things weren't scrubbed to a sparkle but I didn't need sparkle, I needed to get boosted out of my mess and shmutz so I could stick to maintenance and not feel like drowning. Things aren't in all their right places but frankly half my problem is that they don't all HAVE right places, at least she leaves them neat enough that I can try to organize them myself rather than not know where to start because everything is helter-skelter.

essie14

Wed, Dec 14 2016, 3:38 am

seeker wrote:

Every time I get a new cleaning lady I make a list of what I like done and a few details. Certain things that are easy for me, I don't want her to waste her time with.
I am very organized so I also try to straighten up before she comes so that she doesn't put things away and I won't know where there are.
I once had a cleaning lady who only cleaned inside the toilet, never wiped down the outside or the area around it. So I showed her how I wanted it done. Another one left the full garbage bag - I asked her to please take out the trash when she left.
Your cleaning lady can't read your mind, just tell her and show her how you like things done. She wants to keep this job just as much as you want her to show up.
It doesn't do you or her any favors if you feel you have to clean up after her. If you want something sparkling, ask her to use a little more elbow grease.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Dec 14 2016, 7:52 am

seeker wrote:

You can have your cake and eat it too! She sounds extremely efficient and I'm sure she would take your direction at the same time as working her magic, so your for the same price and timing your house will be just as you like it! I promise it's worth it to give a little guidance.

mummiedearest

Wed, Dec 14 2016, 8:54 am

it took me a long time to get used to it. I used to clean beside the cleaning lady so I wouldn't feel spoiled. we had some great conversations comparing our religious practices. if I needed something done differently, I'd ask her nicely after she took off her coat. it took me a long time to feel ok having someone else clean my toilets. you'll get there, but expect the strange feeling to last a while.

m in Israel

Wed, Dec 14 2016, 9:01 am

How would you feel if your employer never gave you any instructions as to how they want things done? IME most employees, whatever their line of work, would much prefer feedback/instructions, than not (assuming of course you know how to communicate politely and non critically, which I assume you do). Telling a new cleaning lady "thanks so much, you've been doing a great job. I just wanted to mention that when you do the dishes I prefer it you wipe them with this cloth to dry them before putting them on the shelf." or any other specific instruction that you have is part of being a good employer.