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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Where did he come up with this?



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amother
Blonde


 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 1:24 pm
My 5 year old has taken to saying "that's an aveira, so Hashem is going to kill you" whenever someone in the household makes a mistake or if a sibling annoys him. While we do of course teach him to do mitzvos and not do aveiros, we certainly haven't used such language! And we really haven't discussed sechar veonesh so much because it's a tricky concept (since results are usually not immediate and I also don't need my kid saying something embarrassing like "so and so is sick because Hashem is punishing them"). All I can think of is, well, he did learn about Noach and he did learn about Sodom, not to mention most our holidays, so he clearly knows that Hashem has on occasion caused large scale desteuction to punish bad acts. Anyway, is that a logical explanation for where he's getting this? And where do I go from here? Right now I'm focusing on not letting him see that he's ruffling my feathers, but any ideas of how to discuss more with him?
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 1:25 pm
Is he in school? He probably heard it from another kid.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 1:30 pm
Yes and they're totally not the type of school that teaches all g0yim are terrible and such so I doubt they'd teach this either. Oh well, it probably did come from another kid. Any ideas how to handle him now?
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 1:40 pm
amother wrote:
Yes and they're totally not the type of school that teaches all g0yim are terrible and such so I doubt they'd teach this either. Oh well, it probably did come from another kid. Any ideas how to handle him now?


The other kid could have gotten it from an older brother or another friend- probably didn't come from the school at all.

I would just tell him that it's not true, and that just like mommy and tatty/abba/daddy still love you when you do something wrong, Hashem still loves us when we do aveiros. Sometimes He may have to punish us to teach us the right way, but He always gives us a chance to say sorry and do better the next time.
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 2:14 pm
My experience is that trying to determine where a kid got some outlandish or inappropriate information is always a losing proposition. Kids are perfectly able to come up with lousy ideas on their own, and they're masters at detecting the non-verbal behavior that tells them they've found their parents' soft underbellies.

Like Groovy said, offer an explanation once or twice, and then let it go. He'll continue to test you for a while, but consider him just a troll without the Internet and ignore him. He'll move on to something even more bothersome.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 3:18 pm
Thanks, good answers! And troll without the internet Rolling Laughter Kids really are little trolls, aren't they?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 3:30 pm
You would not believe the things that DD would bring home from cheder.

"Mama, you can't mix cereal and milk, because milk comes from COWS!" LOL

She was constantly getting things wrong, and would defend her ideas to death. I learned to just say "OK honey", and go on like everything was fine.
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 5:20 pm
this might not be about him wanting to get a reaction from you. I suspect he believes what he is saying.
you should address it next time he says that. just tell him it's not true.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 5:31 pm
naomi2 wrote:
this might not be about him wanting to get a reaction from you. I suspect he believes what he is saying.
you should address it next time he says that. just tell him it's not true.

I agree with this, and OP's hypothesis about her ds deducing this from the parsha is very likely, and very common, and potentially very frightening to children. Which is why this mistaken notion should be dispelled. Always assume the most benign explanation that is consistent with the facts. OP, please clarify things for your ds.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Thu, Dec 15 2016, 7:09 pm
My son was crying hysterically the other night that he is not going to gan eden because he can't keep up with the davening and he misses a lot of words. His teacher taught them about gan eden. Adam and chava etc... Sad
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 16 2016, 9:02 am
amother wrote:
My son was crying hysterically the other night that he is not going to gan eden because he can't keep up with the davening and he misses a lot of words. His teacher taught them about gan eden. Adam and chava etc... Sad

My dd freaked out similarly when she was 5 and her ganenet had said something about saying a bracha without having someone answer amen is like throwing a "malach lapach" - in the garbage. Grrr.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Fri, Dec 16 2016, 9:26 am
Continuously, let him know Hahem is our Abba, and he loves us tremendously.
If we do something wrong, Hashem doesn't punish us, we just have to clean up the mess we made.
Like, if you spill something, you clean it up.
As long as we clean it up, fix it up, Hashem won't need to remind us to clean up our mess.
And even though we mess up, Hashem loves us very much and gives us lots of chances to clean up our mess before he reminds us.

As far as the stories of the parsha, and chagim. We are Hashem's children, and when Hashem sees someone being mean to his children, he's going to protect us.
For example, in parshas lech Lecha when Paroh took Sara, he got sick.
Hashem did this to protect Sara
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mamita




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 16 2016, 9:31 am
groovy1224 wrote:


I would just tell him that it's not true, and that just like mommy and tatty/abba/daddy still love you when you do something wrong, Hashem still loves us when we do aveiros. Sometimes He may have to punish us to teach us the right way, but He always gives us a chance to say sorry and do better the next time.


This.
Try to remove the image of a god-dictator with a big knife.
And replace it with the correct imagery of "avinu malkeinu" - a Loving Father and King. With the concept of king not from Russian czars but David and Shlomo hamelech.
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