Wedding Gift Second Marriage

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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ValleyMom

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 10:43 am

What do you give as a wedding gift for a second marriage for both husband and wife?
The wedding is at a very expensive venue- but I'm a little strapped for cash.
Any suggestions?
Especially something I can order online and have shipped...

watergirl

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 10:51 am

Speaking as someone who got literally 4 wedding gifts for my second wedding - ask them what they need! My ex kept everything, and my husbands ex did as well. We needed everything! People came, ate, left, and all assumed that we had what we needed. None were at our first weddings, so no one already gave us a first gift. Seriously, people already treat it as a nebach. No need to make them feel different than any other chasson and kallah.

So give them whatever you would give for a first wedding!

ValleyMom

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 10:54 am

Wow. I was thinking OUTSIDE the box- something frivolous... like a beautiful vase from Tiffany or something like that and you're telling me you wanted a coffee maker? I had no idea. I guess I need to rethink...

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 10:55 am

Are they registered anywhere for gifts?

Do you know what their situation is? They may already have two of everything and would appreciate a donation in their honor to a worthy cause, or they may be living in an empty apartment with nothing.

MiracleMama

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 10:56 am

No way of knowing if they are setting up house from scratch (like previous poster said - when she remarried they had nothing) or already have all their basics covered. Nobody ever complains about cash. Cash, or GC to someplace useful like a department store or Amazon, always appreciated.

watergirl

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 11:22 am

ValleyMom wrote:

Just ask them what they need, or a gift card is great. Dont assume anything.

essie14

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 12:09 pm

I was an "older single" who had a ton of stuff and I married a widower with a complete house full of stuff. So even before the wedding we had doubles of a lot of things.

I returned all the extraneous vases and picture frames that we received. (My husband and I each had so many already) I threw out a lot of completely useless things that we got. We did receive a nice challah board so I rotate the one my husband already had with the new one. Otherwise, the gift cards and cash were the best gifts. When people asked what we preferred (which not that many people did) I said "Donations to the honeymoon fund Smile

"

I really didn't want or need anything that people generally give as wedding gifts.

I understand that a person who has been divorced might have had to split the household items so those remarrying might need more necessities.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 4:57 pm

are there kids involved? maybe something for them, especially since it's probably a hard time in their lives.

nicole81

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 5:07 pm

Cash is always appreciated. I needed a whole bunch of kitchen items upon my second marriage and registered. I had a shower so many of my friends bought off of my registry and when it came to the wedding, were generous enough to give a cash gift as well.

lora

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 5:22 pm

as mentioned gift cards and cash would be most appreciated, you can sometimes find good deals for "second hand" gift cards on ebay. otherwise how about a wedding pictures frame or album?

btdivorcedmom

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 9:34 pm

As others said, either buy from registry, or give cash. We had nothing even though it was second marriage for both of us. Others might have double of everything. Everyone's situation is different

amother

Seashell

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 11:32 pm

I got my friend a gift card its the best then the person spends the card the way they need. Not a credit in a store.

greenfire

Wed, Dec 21 2016, 11:41 pm

a tablecloth ... a fresh one is always nice as are printed washable ones [check marshall's clearance for good prices]

Raisin

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 5:54 am

watergirl wrote:

In that case, would you have made a very expensive wedding?

Either way, I agree cash or a gift card is a good idea. Or, something really nice from a well known store but include a gift receipt. Like some great quality pots or pans. (hey I could do with some of those)

If they are busy people get an amazon gift card. (you can buy them online)

If either of them like cooking maybe some cool kitchen gadget.

amother

Ivory

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 6:03 am

If they have household things, how about a gift card for a restaurant?

imasinger

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 6:18 am

One of my favorite wedding gifts was a blanket that had an apple tree, and the friend took it to someone who embroidered the Hebrew names of me, DH, and our kids on the apples.

I've added the kids we had together, and, in recent years, the grandkids.

watergirl

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 7:15 am

Raisin wrote:

Our wedding cost us $3000. We made a simchas chasson v kallah because we had no idea how many people to invite. People kept on coming up to us and saying how excited they were for the wedding - so we invited the whole shul and schools that we worked for. We served drinks, fruit, cake, ect. Then we had about 35 people for a nice sit down dinner/only sheva brachos.

I dont invite people for "gift potential", and I know that people who werent invited for the meal wouldnt gift. But from the people who came to the meal - I was surprised, thats all. I've heard the sentiment before that second marriages dont "need" stuff. Hell - just ask the couple!! One of the local families asked me if I would like a bridal shower or a sheva brachos thrown for me. I said shower, since we were told to only do one night of sheva brachos. She didnt follow up anyways. Its all good. But the key is to not assume and just ask.

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