Too much to expect?

solo

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 4:49 pm

I have a lady to help out with my 5,4,2 yr old, and 2 month old, and light housekeeping - folding laundry, dusting, cleaning up after the kids.
She doesn't take responsibility for their actions. So if their climbing on the table or playing with the window shades. She'll say no. Then say no emphatically. And continue to say no while she watches them behave badly or damage things.
For example. Today I asked her to get my 2 yr old dressed and strapped into the car cuz we were running late. But when I came out my son was in the passenger seat and she was just repeating that he needed to go into his car seat.
Other days my son will refuse to put on his coat and she will just repeat that he needs to until I am able to put it on him. Is it unreasonable of me to expect that children will be disobedient and occasionally be have badly? Is it unreasonable to expect to take charge of the situation? If so how do others rely on hired help to assist them.

MiracleMama

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 5:00 pm

Interesting question. When my twins were born I found myself with three kids under age 2 and in need of domestic help. I hired someone to do as you describe - help with kids and light housekeeping. She was a great hire, seemed to have a very loving way with the kids. As they grew, they knew her and they seemed to respond always very well to her. Never had any problems. Then she left us a few years later and I went to hire someone new. On the first interview the woman asked me how I want her to discipline my kids. I was actually taken aback. Like, why would she need to? First nanny never had to discipline anyone. But really, it's a valid question, particularly with someone new who has no rapport with the kids. When your lady says no repeatedly and the kids don't listen - do you know how you want her to handle it? Does she know how you want her to handle it? Should she wrestle kids into car seats? Give timeouts? No dessert? Come running to you with each problem? Think about it. It does need to be discussed. She can't just guess.

greenfire

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 5:09 pm

if she's there to help you ... she must be hands on

since when does a 2 year old who climbs on a table get off himself ... or buckle himself in a car seat ... since never

My4Jewels

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 5:48 pm

Not unreasonable! If she doesn't know how to get the kids to listen most of the time then how can you trust her with them when you aren't there? Babysitting is not for everyone.

I would try to find someone new soon.

gingie37

Thu, Dec 22 2016, 6:14 pm

She may be worried about disciplining them the wrong way, or that you might get upset if she gets hands on or touches the kid when he's upset. You need to have a clear covkersation with her outlining your expectations and what you would like her to do when a kid isn't listening. She's not a mind reader, and some people do better with direct instructions.