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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Iymnok
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Sat, Dec 24 2016, 2:25 pm
Another question,
If a couple gets engaged with tenoim, then married and divorced with a quiet, private minyan in one day, then could she still marry a kohen since there was no biah?
I'm thinking not.
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amother
Crimson
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Sat, Dec 24 2016, 6:41 pm
seeker wrote: | OK, that's really weird. I'm assuming there are other background issues in this story. In what universe is a broken engagement more stigmatized than divorce? People tend to forget an engagement much more quickly than a marriage, especially if they were at the wedding. |
Yes major issues with self esteem and an issue with always needing to be the best in looks and stature and worrying what people think.
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ROFL
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Sat, Dec 24 2016, 7:56 pm
Now she can't marry a Cohen I don't understand the concept. Broken engagement is so much better than a divorce!
quote="Iymnok"]Another question,
If a couple gets engaged with tenoim, then married and divorced with a quiet, private minyan in one day, then could she still marry a kohen since there was no biah?
I'm thinking not.[/quote]
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amother
Gray
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Sat, Dec 24 2016, 9:42 pm
amother wrote: | I don't know what people do, but for that reason Chabad does not do thr tanoyim until the day of the chssunoh, so we don't have problems of a broken engagement.
As a Lubavitcher, I had a broken engagement and even without Tenaim it wasn't so simple. There was a formal process in returning gifts and asking mechila. It was a long time ago and I pretty much let my parents deal with it so I don't remember the details. But I think the mechila had a lot to do with future shiddichim. |
The asking mechila part is important. There are a number of stories of the Rebbe with couples who could not have children and the Rebbe asked about a broken engagement and told them to ask mechila.
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greenfire
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Sat, Dec 24 2016, 10:07 pm
I'm an unsure why this conversation keeps coming up ... but have people totally lost their minds ??? divorce is never better than a broken engagement !!!
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imasoftov
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Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:48 am
Iymnok wrote: | Another question,
If a couple gets engaged with tenoim, then married and divorced with a quiet, private minyan in one day, then could she still marry a kohen since there was no biah?
I'm thinking not. |
If a woman has only gone through erusin but not nissuin, she requires a get, and may not marry a Cohen (Hilchot Issurei Biah 17:18). So it seems to me that biah is irrelevant, if they've been married enough to require a get, she can't marry a Cohen after that.
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