Sensitive child | Imamother

amother

Mustard

Mon, Dec 26 2016, 9:57 pm

My 3 year old daughter is very sensitive and anxious. She gets nightmares where she screams while asleep and I need to wake her and calm her down. Now, she just learned about the story of chanukah and about eliporni in nursery. So her teacher put a mannequin head on a broomstick to show them. DD freaked out and refused to be in the same room as the head until the teacher put it away.
She already woke up from a nighmare!
Is it not possible to shield 3 year old kids from these graphic stories? Or do I need to just help her deal with it somehow...

anonymrs

Mon, Dec 26 2016, 10:28 pm

That's a bit much for a 3 year old. My daughter was never told such things at that age. Even with the purim story, they just told her that Achasveirosh sent Vashti away and she wasn't allowed to be the queen anymore.

iyar

Mon, Dec 26 2016, 10:46 pm

amother wrote:

A mannequin head on a broomstick?
I can see some three year olds enjoying the fun and games.
But I can totally see some three year olds ( and 4, 5,6 & 7 year olds) having nightmares.
Inappropriate, if you ask me.
Some little kids have very good imaginations and enjoy scary stuff. But some who are equally imaginative take everything very literally and get frightened.
I can't think of anything in particular you can do for your daughter, besides the usual bedtime rituals, a calming song, a bedtime story, Shema, a good hug and tucking in. But I'd have a little talk with that teacher.

Laiya

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 12:06 am

The mannequin head on the broomstick is beyond remotely acceptable.

Since you say your daughter often has nightmares, I would be concerned what else may be going on in that classroom, that's also not age appropriate and may be contributing to her fears.

I don't think a three year old should or can learn to "deal with it", as this can be traumatizing to her.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 4:41 pm

Last few years, when my daughter was 2 and then when she was 3, they wore masks on purim. Well, my turns out my daughter is terrified of people in masks. They actually had to remove all the masks from her class because she was inconsolable. She talked about how scary it was for months. It sounds similar to the mannequin had on a broomstick - scary for some, not for others. If your daughter is upset by it, then talk to the teacher about how sensitive she is.

Also, some kids are by nature more anxious or nightmare-prone than others. Try to talk to her about how she can manage her feelings when she is afraid - give her a special note form you in her pocket every day to hold whlie she is scared, tell her that if she is scared, she should tell her treacher and ask the teacher to help her, or something else. Nightmares and anxieties are very normal at this age, but a preschool teacher can be sensitive to it, so you should talk to the teacher. In the meantime, keep an open dialogue with your daughter about things that scare her and how she can feel better about them - at 3 years old, kids don't have coping mechanisms for fear, but they can be taught.

amother

Green

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 6:00 pm

amother wrote:

DS was so afraid of the masks last year that he wouldn't enter a room that had a mask. He had asked me to hide them so I wrapped them in a couple of bags and hid them behind my bed. At 4am he woke up and asked me if I'd already hid the masks. Later on he wouldn't enter my room until everything was returned to storage even though it was double wrapped and completely out of sight. That's how afraid he was!

It's pretty normal for some kids to be extra sensitive though I do think you need to ask the teacher to be a little more sensitive in the future. Putting a mannequin on a broomstick is very graphic and can traumatize even kids double her age.

For now, talk to her as much as possible and help her feel safe. I hope she'll get over it soon.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 7:05 pm

Thanks, I'm glad you all agree I wasn't blowing it out of proportion.... I could see myself freaking out by a mannequin head on a broomstick too!
The teacher thinks dd is way too sensitive, but hopefully she'll tone it down from now on.

STMommy

Tue, Dec 27 2016, 9:36 pm

amother wrote:

The teacher thinks dd is way too sensitive, but hopefully she'll tone it down from now on.

I'm sorry to be strong and blunt but the teacher is not going to tone it down from now on because she thinks your daughter's reaction was an over-reaction, and was your daughter's fault. Your daughter is THREE. The teacher's lesson was completely outrageous and out of line for that age group. Her teacher does not have any sort of grasp over what is age appropriate for a three year old. Sorry to say.

WitchKitty

Thu, Dec 29 2016, 1:41 pm

When I was in pre 1A the teacher acted out Eisav. She put on some sort of gorillas mask.
And I still remember who was the girl who freaked out.
maybe age 4 is different than age 3? But if only one girl in the class was scared(and crying), I think that means that kids aren't usually afraid of such things. I definitely wasn't.