Move to Lakewood from Israel

WitchKitty

Thu, Dec 29 2016, 11:39 am

OK.
DH is Canadian. I'm an American-Israeli, my family made aliyah when I was 7.
We were thinking of moving to the US, as DH feels much more comfortable there.
The problem is, I have no way to make a decision, as I have no clue what I'm deciding. Yes, I've been in Canada and NY for yomim tovim sometimes but I don't know how things work there.
We've been considering Lakewood because I have a job waiting for me there that I enjoy. (A different branch of what I'm doing now)
So is anyone available to answer all my (unformulated) questions. Like cost of living. HOW is living. Seriously, what are these 'basement apartments' I've been hearing about. What time do people go to work and come home, what do they do in they're spare time. How do you.. socialize in Lakewood? How does American health insurance work.
TIA

amother

Navy

Thu, Dec 29 2016, 12:00 pm

The basement apartments are apartments in basements. If you rent a new one (expect to pay between $1000-1300 depending on location), you'll have big windows and new construction, with possibly 3 rooms and 2 bathrooms. Very nice apartments! Much nicer than what you get in Brooklyn or far Rockaway!

As far as socializing etc, do you have children? I have a child b"H and don't have much time for socializing. But I do go to the gym. In the spring/summer you'll meet people outside in the playground, if you have kids.
If you don't have kids yet, socializing will be a bit harder and you'll have to make some more effort. Go to shiurim if there are in you area. Invite your new neighbor's to you for coffee, or think of making a shabbos kiddush for your neighbor's to get to know them. Invite someone to go out with you to an event or for coffee or shopping.
If you have spare time you can go to the gym (there are a few ladies only gyms), shopping (I mainly shop online but there are plenty of clothing stores in Lakewood and plenty of malls nearby), out to eat (my favorites are four corners, Kava and French Press; my husband favorite is bagel nosh. And pizza plus has the best pizza, hands down, but there are some trendier pizza/salad/pasta stores around, plenty of them.)
I don't have much spare time after working, shopping for groceries, and preparing dinner for by family!
If you decide to come, welcome!
(Just today I was looking at the gray, rainy sky and thinking, how I wish I could be in beautiful Israel! But whatever works for you!)

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Dec 29 2016, 12:08 pm

Basement Apartments are now very cheap. You can get a 3 bedroom apt for under $800 (I know 2 people who just married and are renting at that price). Both fairly new (less than 10 years) and fixed up to get tenants. It is a renters market now.
People also rent in Coventry. They are small 2 - 3 bedroom townhouses that young couples live in. Some blocks are more yeshivish and some blocks are more 'with it'. When my SIL moved back from Israel she chose to move there because she already had school age children and didn't want to start in a basement.
You need at least one car and be able to drive. if you and DH have very different schedules you may need 2 cars. Public transportation is almost not existent.
If you rent in a complex\development there are loads of people and in the summer they may be sitting out.

On a regular block it is much harder (but I happen to like those better).
Do you have kids?

Thu, Dec 29 2016, 12:18 pm

RDR wrote:

How does American health insurance work.
TIA

By far the best way to get health insurance in the US is through your employer. A deduction is taken from your paycheck to pay your premium (insurance membership fee).

There are a few different kinds of health insurance. Does your job in Lakewood offer health benefits? If so, let us know what your choices are, and we'll help you decipher the jargon.

I'm not in Lakewood, so I can't help you with the rest. Good luck!

debsey

Thu, Dec 29 2016, 2:35 pm

The above poster means LRRC - they are the organization that helps you navigate benefits, medical insurance, etc. in Lakewood.

Socializing - depends on your demographic and where you move. Most socializing is mommies outside waiting for the bus or watching their kids at the playground. if you're not in that age bracket, you might meet friends at the gym or your co-workers.

Everyone explained basement apartments very well, but there are also apartment houses, like in Westgate, or Washington Square, which might be a bit more similar to what you are used to.

If you choose a basement apartment, make sure it's in a neighborhood that you fit in to. It's easier to make friends if you are similar to your neighbors.

If you do move here, and you have school-aged children, be prepared for some difficult adjustments and some difficulty with school acceptances. (by school-age, I mean over 5. Kindergarten is still private in Lakewood, meaning, it's a "gan' in someone's basement)

WitchKitty

Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:35 am

Thanks all
Isn't it easy to get a drivers license in the US?
And how much is a car? Rental/buying/insurance/gas....
How long does it take from Lakewood to Monsey/Brooklyn(Flatbush)? Are there buses?
We don't have kids. I do have some young married cousins in Lakewood, guess that might help..
How many Israelis are there? (if any.....)
How do phones work. Here most young families only have cellphones. How do landline/cellphone plans usually work? (unlimited and all)
The post about living in Lakewood with clothes from Target- is it that serious? How many people care there so much about their looks compared to those who don't (who care less?)
Is it true that I can't go to work without a sheitel?

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:44 am

For the last question: yes, you can't go to work without a sheital.
Phone plans: a lot of young couples (myself included) do cellphones only. I'm on a $40 per month Verizon unlimited talk and text plan with several gb data (work plan). DH pays way less per month for his 200 min (some long distance), 2gb data and unlimited texting.
1.5 hours to Brooklyn, way back can take longer (at least the hours we do it)
There are busses. (Add at least 20 minutes, depends what stop you get on)
Monsey, I don't know.
Target- people around me don't care what anyone else is wearing.

doctorima

Sun, Jan 01 2017, 10:07 am

WADR, from the type of questions you're asking, it seems like you have no grasp or appreciation of the tremendous difference in lifestyles involved in moving to the US, even to a place like Lakewood. Before making such a major life decision, I would strongly encourage you to find a way to come visit for a week to get a sense for the place and whether it's right for you and you could be happy here.

It may be expensive to get 2 RT tickets, but it will be much cheaper than having to sell everything you bought and move back because you're miserable here. The difference between Eretz Yisroel and Lakewood can't be boiled down to how much a cell phone costs or where to shop for clothes or getting a driver's license or wearing a sheitel. A picture will be worth a lot more than 1000 words.

byisrael

Sun, Jan 01 2017, 2:58 pm

I grew up going to school in LAKEWOOD and made aliya at 15 (I'm 22) so let me try to boil down my expierance of the the cultural differances. Take into account that my LKWD expierances are 7 years old and are those of a teen.

On the one hand people are much more polite and diplomatic than Israeli's are. In the more yeshivish circles you will probably find the same hashkafas as the mainstream chareidi society though usually its a more a toned down less passionate "my way is the only right way" version of it. There are some really specail "yeshivish and not" that do a tremendous amount of chessed and have live lives I only hope to copy....

I found the schools in Israel more relaxed when it comes to tznuis and other hashkafic things but I did go to Bnos Yaakov in Lakewood and a pretty chilled seminar in Israel....

On the other hand it is VERY VERY materalistic and superfical compared to Israel. Especially as a kid there was a HUGE pressure from both peers AND staff to fit into a very narrow box of "classy tznuis smart" which actually meant smart, rich, tznuis, and unopinionated. The tznuis and "don't ask any questions" is a huge part of the Israeli chinuch system but in Lakewood it seemed very fake and hypcritical because the society placed such a value on money, looks, and brains.

The standards for "regular people" are probably equal to those of wealthy people in Israel. You will find most of your peers with leased cars, brand name clothing, gorgeous sheitals, brand name strollers, and going on nice vacations (not neccassarilly crazy fancy ones but a LOT nicer than anything you would splurge on in Israel), when you have kids there will be a pressure to dress them a certain way . Yes, you can choose not to go along with the flow and you can find like minded friends- but this is what at least 50% of your peers will be doing.

Smile1234

Sun, Jan 01 2017, 4:28 pm

Just a few things that come to mind when reading your posts... I live in Israel and grew up in NY.

Gas is way cheaper in America than israel. Its much easier (and cheaper) to get a drivers license in America.

Common for young couples to only have a cell phone just like in Israel, but cell phones are much more expensive there. No 25 nis kosher plan with unlimited calls to 25 countries Smile

No, its not very common to go to work in a snood/tichel. Its possibly looked down upon...

Salaries are higher, but so is cost of living.
I don't know where you live now but chances are you pay a lot of rent. Right now as previous posters said - you will get much more for your money. For just over $1k you'll get a nice sized 3 bedroom apartment.

I would suggest you speak to your cousins who KNOW YOU and ask them where they think you might fit in in Lkwd - which neighborhood/development...
Maybe a pilot trip to a recommended neighborhood would be a good idea. Are you going to America/Canada for pesach again? Maybe go then and spend some time with your cousins, have them show you around, the shopping, etc. Get a feel for what its like over there.
Will your husband be in Yeshiva or working? That would probably influence where you want to live as well...

hatzlacha! Its a big decision!

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jan 02 2017, 2:34 am

Im not certain but doesnt a canadian need a work visa or something like that to be able to live in the USA? Just check that out OP.
Second of all, life in america is SOOOOOOOOO different than Israel.
Things are more expensive (health insurance for one). As others have said, if you have never lived there, but only been there for chagim, it would behoove you to go and see what life is like. Sort of like a pilot trip. Go and see what things would be like. Otherwise, you are going at it blindly and you are sure to have teh shock of your life and a very uneasy landing.

Chocoholic

Mon, Jan 02 2017, 3:38 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Health insurance is more expensive, rent is the same (outside NY and major cities), material goods are a lot cheaper (hygiene, personal care, clothing). Produce is more expensive, other foods similar.