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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Midwinter vacation
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Fri, Dec 30 2016, 5:21 am
What do you do with your teens for midwinter vacation? My teen dds claim that everybody nowadays goes to Florida. Seriously, is that really true?
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 30 2016, 5:32 am
No, we go on day trips to interesting places in our metropolitan area.

Some people go away. There's a mix.

We're MO/not-in-NY if that makes a difference.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Mon, Jan 02 2017, 6:12 pm
Bump
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Hatemywig




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 02 2017, 6:59 pm
The first rule of teenagers is to take the 'everybody' and minus 80%.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 03 2017, 4:39 am
A lot of families in my kids school do go away for winter break. Some go to Florida/California/Caribbean/Mexico. Others go to places like great wolf lodge or camel back. Others do a staycation and a minority stay home or go to camps for the week because their parents can't take off.

I don't think your kids are totally exaggerating, depending on your community.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Tue, Jan 03 2017, 6:42 am
Depends on location.

In Lakewood I don't think so many kids go away - in the younger crowd the parents go without kids.

In NY it seems like everyone goes away. Last year I was talking to High school girl from Flatbush. She said about 5 girls from her class didn't go to Florida. She herself went to a lodge with her parents, and she said it was not on par with what most girls do.

I have no idea how people afford that.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Tue, Jan 03 2017, 6:48 am
How about in Passaic?
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 03 2017, 7:42 am
amother wrote:
How about in Passaic?


How long is winter break? If they have "yeshiva week" (which is actually 7-9 business days) then I would assume more people are likely to go away. If they have the "friday - sunday" type, I would assume less so.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 7:10 pm
My dd is in Bais Yaakov Machon Ora in Passaic. She has off from a tues- mon. Any idea if going to Florida is really what majority of the families/ girls there do for midwinter?
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 7:21 pm
Why does it matter what other families do? Do what you want to do. Every family should decide for themselves how they will handle vacation. If 40% of the girls are going to Florida will you book her a ticket?
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 7:25 pm
Majority? Absolutely not.
Anyway why does it matter. As others said, Do what is best for you, your daughter, and your family. When it becomes all about what others do you lose the true value behind it anyway...
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Wed, Jan 04 2017, 7:31 pm
If 40 percent were going, no I wouldn't book tickets to Florida. I do agree that it's important for your kids to hear what your values are. However, when it's 90% of kids in your kids school that do something, own something, then I believe your child is at a social disadvantage if he/ she doesn't . At the same time, if 90% of the kids do it have something that goes against my values, I'd let my child know that I'm compromising by going along with what most have/do.
For the 60% that aren't going to Florida, what are you doing?
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 6:16 am
I don't care if 99.9% of the kids are going to Florida. Unless they're going with parents, to some sort of very structured program, etc., I wouldn't send my h.s. kid to Florida, and would hope that an older child who decided to go would exercise good judgment.

I remember years ago, when one of my kids gave me the "everyone does it" line about something. I asked, including x,y,z and one more? I called up each of those parents and confirmed that there was a good core chevra whose parents thought like I did.
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 7:58 am
Pink fridge, thanx I totally agree. Id never send my high school dd to Florida without an adult going along. But, if 90% really go, I'd see if somehow I could work it out to take my kids.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 8:06 am
In my daughter's Lakewood high school, you can get suspended (or worse) for going to Florida over mid-winter vacation. It's an absolute no-no. I remember one year DD's friend's grandparents wanted to take her, and the school did not give permission.

I did take DD to England for her 10th grade mid-winter vacation (we had a family wedding, and my grandmother - she should live to 120 - sponsored her ticket) and obtained permission from her school to do so (it involved missing an extra day of school, which didn't end up being that way because it snowed here and school closed....). It was a massive exception, and she was fully aware that there would be no expectation of travel on future vacations.

We do daytrips. NYC, Philadelphia, etc....we've covered museums, fun places, historical places, and chilled places. We could use some new ideas......I guess that would be for a spinoff....
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 8:10 am
PinkFridge wrote:
I don't care if 99.9% of the kids are going to Florida. Unless they're going with parents, to some sort of very structured program, etc., I wouldn't send my h.s. kid to Florida, and would hope that an older child who decided to go would exercise good judgment.

I remember years ago, when one of my kids gave me the "everyone does it" line about something. I asked, including x,y,z and one more? I called up each of those parents and confirmed that there was a good core chevra whose parents thought like I did.


Wait, is this about kids going to Florida alone? I assumed the question was about family trips.

For the life of me, I cannot fathom what could be wrong with a family trip to any particular state, unless kids (and their families) are feeling pressure to spend beyond their means on elaborate vacations. That was the context of my original response.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 8:17 am
cm wrote:
Wait, is this about kids going to Florida alone? I assumed the question was about family trips.

For the life of me, I cannot fathom what could be wrong with a family trip to any particular state, unless kids (and their families) are feeling pressure to spend beyond their means on elaborate vacations. That was the context of my original response.


Besides for the peer pressure it creates, some schools feel that there is a general relaxation of certain spiritual standards that occurs at vacations at particular places, like the beach in Florida, for example. They do not allow their students to go on such vacations.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 8:36 am
Don't know why I assumed it was going alone. It does make sense OP was talking about family.
OP, what have you done in the past? What is your family ethos? Do you take big vacations, day trips, etc.? What is reasonable for you $$?
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amother
Natural


 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 8:49 am
Chayalle wrote:
Besides for the peer pressure it creates, some schools feel that there is a general relaxation of certain spiritual standards that occurs at vacations at particular places, like the beach in Florida, for example. They do not allow their students to go on such vacations.


And if they happen to have family living in Florida, they're not allowed to see them?

I find these rules to be absurd. Our school tried to pull that one year. They heard that some seniors were planning to go to Florida on their own, and sent out a vaguely threatening letter. Of course, these are the same young adults whom they fully expected to spend a year 5000+ miles away in Israel, in just a few months. Moreover, as a parent, I'm much better equipped to decide what my children can handle, and when they can handle it. [My kids didn't ask to go, and didn't go.]

In any case, yes, there's plenty of peer pressure to do things over break. And that exists whether you take a day trip to wherever, or pack your bags for Florida. DH is an accountant, making winter vacations impossible, which was hard on the kids. That was hard for them. I'd say that in our community, 80%+ do something over break.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 05 2017, 9:28 am
It really seems the whole senior class goes to Florida. A couple of years ago 93% of the BY girls in one school in Monsey went. I think an even higher percent attended seminary.

I would love to know the percent paying full tuition.
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