Why is she suddenly waking up every night?!!! HELP!

lfab

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 11:00 am

My nearly 2 1/2 year old has never been the best sleeper relative to my other kids (my others were all sleep trained by 7-8 months or so and have slept through the night ever since). In the past she would wake up in middle of the night maybe 2-3 times in a month. Annoying, but manageable. Recently, as in the past 3 weeks or so, she is waking up EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! She wakes up and cries and cries and cries. I've tried going in and giving her a drink in case she was thirsty, comforting her, etc. But as soon as I leave the room she starts crying again. Some nights she can be up for over 2 hours crying on and off. I'm due any day and this is really bad timing. I can not have a toddler keeping me up every night as well as a newborn waking every few hours. Some nights when I go in she is wide awake and wants to get up and play. Most of the time though she is clearly still tired and doesn't want to get up she is just crying and can't put herself back to sleep. Any ideas on why she is suddenly waking up all the time and how to get her to sleep through the night? Please, I'm getting desperate over here!

Raw

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 11:48 am

Is she still napping? If she's waking and playing she may not be tired. I'd cut out a nap, if there is one.

2 years old is a common time for toddlers to start having sleeping issues, like separation anxiety or nighttime demands.

Have you ruled out hunger?

Do you have a nightlight in the room? My babies have responded well to them.

How are you responding to these awakenings?
I find the most effective thing is to go in to the room, make sure there's nothing wrong (I.e. Dirty diaper, temperature), quickly lay child down and cover and leave the room - all without saying a word or making eye contact. This way they learn that nighttime waking is not a treat. I also find it's more effective when my husband attends to the child, for the same reason. I am more of a reward!

ectomorph

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:02 pm

Raw wrote:

YMMV on the last... My son needs a 5 minutes out of the crib to calm him. Usually goes right back to sleep.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:07 pm

Have you started toilet training yet? It's probably a good idea to start, and when she wakes up, she might need to sit on the toilet for a minute. DD used to wake up when she felt the urge to go, and then she'd go right back to sleep. This was right at about 2 and a half years old.

Ask her if she had any scary dreams. She might not understand that dreams are just stories your brain tells you while you are asleep. Tell her that she is the boss of her brain, and if she doesn't like the story, she can say "Brain, quit it! Tell me a nice story!"

Give her a nightlight, and some picture books by her bed. Tell her that waking everybody up is not OK, but that if she's not sleepy she can read her books.

I never, ever gave DD anything to drink in bed, or gave her snacks in the middle of the night. Dinner time is for eating, bedtime is for sleep. I was always firm about that.

lfab

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:14 pm

I don't know how to quote multiple posters so I'll try to make this as clear as possible:

Ahuva: I doubt it's pinworms as she does not seem uncomfortable.

Ectomorph: Nothing has happened recently (at least that I can think of) that would have caused this to start happening. We haven't been away and her schedule hasn't changed at all. Like I said, I'm due soon and if this had occurred after I had the baby it would make sense to me but now? No reason this should be occurring.

Pesek Zman: Separation anxiety from what? She's fine when I put her into bed at night, goes to sleep very nicely. Just wakes up at roughly the same time every night and takes a long time to fall back asleep.

Raw: She hasn't napped for several months now (we cut it out back in September when it was taking her hours to fall asleep to begin with). We have tried having her sleep with a nightlight and without but there hasn't been any noticeable difference. When she wakes up I go in ask her if she wants a drink of water, give her a little bit to drink, lay her back down, cover her with her blanket, then leave the room. There's no playing, chatting, etc. I'm half asleep myself. There doesn't appear to be anything wrong (no dirty diaper etc.) and most nights she doesn't even want to get up, she's just laying in her crib crying. After I leave the room she can continue crying/fussing anywhere from 20 minutes to as much as close to 2 hours. Once I leave if she starts crying again I'll wait awhile before going back in to her. I hate going in a second time because I feel like that's teaching her she will get a response if she cries. However, there's only so long I can let her cry before it becomes cruel not to respond (and on occasion I have let her cry a really really long time and it didn't make any difference anyway she just wailed the whole time). I find that it's usually better when I go in to deal with her as my husband gets more easily frustrated with her waking up and will often end up talking to her in a harsher voice that's more likely to upset her and make her cry more.

Thanks for all the suggestions, and keep them coming. I really need to figure out how to get her sleeping through the night again within the next very short while. Also, my husband is frustrated enough (he gets sick when he doesn't get enough sleep and so it's much harder on him) that he's started talking about having the pediatrician give her melatonin or something to help her sleep. He has a couple of family members who have some sleep issues and take meds to help them sleep. I am so not going the medication route with my 2 year old! I don't think he's really serious and it's just his lack of sleep talking. But still, I feel like I need to do something. Any and all ideas are welcome.

lfab

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:21 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I haven't actually started toilet training yet. We've talked about using the toilet etc. but like I said I'm due in about a week and it's just not the right time for it. Also, the one time she did ask to sit when I tried to put her on she flipped out and was terrified to get on. I don't think she would get the concept of dreams at this point and/or be able to communicate that she had a bad dream. She would be able to tell me she's scared if she felt afraid of something (such as a bad dream) but she isn't saying that she's scared. In terms of the drink I know that I myself get very thirsty in middle of the night and if I wake up I need something to drink. When I offer her a drink she usually does want it and actually does appear thirsty. I wouldn't offer her a snack though. However, even once she's had a drink she just can't seem to fall back asleep. I wish I knew what was waking her to begin with. I feel like it must be something as she's pretty consistent with the timing I just can't think what it is.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:22 pm

Ask your pediatrician about the melatonin. A one week round of it just to get her back on schedule won't do any harm.

With DD, she would wake up at 2:10am every single morning. Sometimes 2:09, sometimes 2:11, but always right in that spot! It's just part of her natural sleep pattern. (She still does, at 13yo, but fortunately she can get herself back to sleep now.)

When she was little, I would rock and soothe her for a few minutes, and put her back down again. That always did the trick, but sometimes it would take up to a half an hour before she was ready to go back to sleep. Usually, 10 minutes was fine.

Another theory, is that kids can sense when a baby is coming. They may not intellectually understand, but on a primal level they are aware that there is going to be a big change soon. It's not unheard of that kids, especially little ones, will start acting up the week or so before the new baby is due.

pesek zman

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 12:51 pm

lfab wrote:

Separation from you! Wakes up in middle of the night and realizes she's alone and gets upset and maybe scared and anxious

Not saying it's true for your child only that I think it's true for mine and developmentally it's right on time

lfab

Tue, Jan 03 2017, 1:47 pm

Thank you all for your suggestions.
Frantic Frummie: 2am must be the witching hour, my DD gets up between 2 and 2:30 every night (morning?). Maybe I will speak to the pediatrician about the melatonin. I'm just nervous to cause her to come to rely on something in order to sleep (I see what it's done to some of my husband's siblings and how they literally cannot sleep if they don't take it).
Also, maybe I'm not giving her enough credit for understanding that a baby is coming soon. I've definitely talked about it with her but she didn't seem to really get it.
I guess it could be separation anxiety. It just didn't occur to me that it could be that since she's has no problem going into bed (separating from me) initially. Also, since she gets up the same time every night I figured there must be something specific causing it, but maybe that's just when her body naturally wakes up.
Unfortunately I'm worried that it's only going to get worse once I actually do give birth. Oh well, like ectomorph said this too shall pass (and at least then I'll be on maternity leave and can maybe rest a little during the day to make up for the lack of sleep).

lfab

Wed, Jan 04 2017, 10:38 am

Miri1 wrote:

Does she acknowledge your presence? If she seems confused or not responding to questions, it could be night terrors. They often happen the same time every night. I think they tend though to occur at the earlier part of the night.

She acknowledges me when I go in. Sometimes she tries to chat (which I minimize since I don't want her to think it's time to wake up). Other times she's still very sleepy and will just clutch her blanket and cry. I have friends whose kids have had night terrors and her behavior is nothing like what they described.