I want a tatoo! | Imamother

amother

Taupe

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 1:37 pm

macadamia wrote:

Plesse do in a place only you and husband can see. Please dont show you kids. Our comunity including your own kids take these very personally.

Why does the community get a say in a woman's choice of adornment? If she wants a lip piercing, that's none of my business. It may not be my taste, but it's still not my business, any more than any other choice.

I have two issues with a tattoo. The first is halachic. The second is the permanence. Very few women have the same taste at 75 as they did at 25, so I wouldn't do something permanent even if I could.

But if a woman wants henna, she should do it wherever she likes.

amother

Brown

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 1:43 pm

Coffee Addict wrote:

What's so much to love about a tattoo? I'm genuinely asking, not sarcastic. I'm trying to understand, I don't get it. Personally, I think it's gross. But that's me.

I'm with you 100%. Having 4 grandparents that were forcibly tattooed in the Holocaust I'm sure is somewhere at the core of my revulsion to the idea. But it's not helpful to OP.... for whatever reason, this appeals to her.

Henna tattoos seem like a good compromise. There are also the ones you rub on but I thinl those are mainly geared for kids.... I've seen them at party supply stores.

Coffee Addict

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 9:48 pm

amother wrote:

When I think of a tattoo, in the back of my mind I put it together with my grandparents forced tattoos. Totally with you.

crust

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 10:42 pm

I want a tattoo
Although I am a jew
I want a tattoo
It will make me feel all new!

I want a tattoo
Why is this so taboo?
I just want a tattoo
I'm being honest and true

My dear child, You want a tattoo?
I understand you
Imoi unoiychi batzuruh
Hashem sais; I am with you...

To HIM, nothing's taboo
He loves you and cares for you
With or without a tatoo
Because He only He,
knows the struggle you're going through.

Wishing you a lot of Siyaate Dishmaya on any decision you make.

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:21 am

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

Amother seashell, I'm just curious, so please don't take this question the wrong way. Getting a tattoo is explicitly forbidden from the Torah (Vayikra, perek 19). It's also discussed in the Mishnah (Makot).

There's certainly no explicit prohibition on showing hair in the Torah -- those who say that covering hair is from the Torah point to the description of the Kohen Gadol messing up the hair of the accused Sotah, but that's not the same as a "thou shalt not". And certainly many consider it to be Dat Yehudit, or Jewish custom.

How is it that you've committed to cover your hair, but still want a tattoo?

I realize we're all inconsistent, but I'm just curious as to whether this is a kind of cognitive dissonance, or you really see it differently.

(As regards your question: Although I have no desire ever for any tattoo or piercing, I have heard that there's an argument to be made that the prohibition in the Torah refers to tattoos made for purposes of mourning. (That is the context of the issur.) )

Because I have fallen into what our society and people around me do rather than tjink for myself. Also I dont fimd covering my hair a challenge as much as I like tattoos!!

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:23 am

amother wrote:

The reason why tattoos are assured is because it uses to be a pagan practice to ink yourself with a picture of or the name of your god(s). Thus tattoos = avodah Zara. I have heard a rabbi day that if that is not your intention then it is fine but that is not the general opinion. Also, people with tattoos can be buried in a Jewish cemetery. There is no truth to that myth.

I think I will do some more research on this!

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:25 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Caveat: I am not paskening for anybody!

There is a minority opinion - the Torah specifically states that you should not cut or tattoo your body for the dead. It was a pagan sign of mourning. The opinion is that if the tattoo is done as a way of celebrating life, or for personal beautification, with no intent of pagan or memorial meaning, then it is allowed. This is the major opinion among the Reform and Conservative, and very minority among the Orthodox.

I have a Jewish friend who is a tattoo artist, and she refuses to tattoo names of any kind, or any kind of "in memoriam" patterns. She will not tattoo a statue of a Buddha, the Virgin Mary, etc. She will do flowers and vines, abstract blackwork, hearts, and other generic types of designs. She also will not do anything in Hebrew script.

If you have tattoos and you convert, there is no obligation or expectation for you to have them removed. Many authorities say that you cannot have them removed, because the process can create scarring which is not medically necessary.

I have 7 tattoos, from my pre-observant days. I would love to get more, but I am uncomfortable with the lenient opinions, and until I feel 100% sure that it would be muttar, I am going to refrain. I think that as it stands, it's too much of a gray area, halachically.

As to why I would want them? Because I find them beautiful and meaningful to me. Aesthetically, I like them for the same reason other women like blue eye shadow, bright nail polish, or long and expensive sheitels. I just like pretty things, and I understand that not everyone has the same definition of "pretty". As far as being meaningful, I chose designs that I came up with on my own, usually resulting from dreams that gave me a lot of insight into my life. It's deeply personal, and not for other people to analyze or comment on.

Thank you for sharing! I have massive regrets for not doing them in my pre observant days too! Although I dread to think what and where I would have tattood all those yeara ago;)

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:32 am

amother wrote:

I don't want to act like your feelings don't matter op, but trust me you don't want a tattoo. I'm a convert and I have one that I got before my conversion. I was young when I got it and I thought for sure I'll nevvvver regret it, but sure enough 8 years later I definitely regret it. Not because it's against the Torah but because I've realized I don't need this "enhancement." It's just...not relevant. you will change more in your life who is to say this tattoo you want soo much now you will still want 10 years from now. Btw my tattoo is feminine and cute and I get compliments on it - it is not garish (that much). But again I've realized I just simply don't need it.

Its something iv always wanted! Who can argue on personal feelings styles and preferences?

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:35 am

amother wrote:

OP.
I know I'm gonna get flack for this one (hence, posting anon).
I have 2. Love them. Got them a few years ago. Yes, I get looks at the Mikva. That's it. I don't wear bathing suits at public Pools so my dh is really the only one that knows.
As you said, I look like a default frum women but really am not so good at things. I have a son in lakewood though so I need to be this way.
Is is assur? From the research I've done and more liberal rabbis I've spoken too, I didn't think it was that bad considering where I am in life and weighing it against some other things my friends do, I validated it in my mind. No regrets. Loving it.
Do what you want. Make sure ur husband is ok with it.

Love this! Care to share which Rabbi's and what research?

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:43 am

amother wrote:

Get a tattoo if that's what you want! If you are a stable normal person you know darn well what people will think of it. Don't expect your kids to get normal shiduchim. As it is it's hard. That's all. Shame on you

Ooh burn. Not that im a conformist so no offence taken but I think all that 'shidduchim' **** is stupid. You do as you feel necessary or as much of halacha you can keep to. Besides the one child I have I dont think she go through the typical 'shidduch' system that check if you have any tattoos on private body parts. So yes I feel quite stable do you??

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:45 am

amother wrote:

Different strokes for different folks... And same goes for all other similar comments on this thread. Some people really like tattoos, and don't regret getting one. Just as you like one style and someone else hates it, so too with this. All your points are important to consider, but there are those who decide to go ahead anyway and are perfectly happy.

Thank you thank you:)

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:51 am

macadamia wrote:

The Young Israel Rav in my town was mad when his sister In Law made permanent make up. He said it was very wrong. Please do the one for o e year on henna. Plesse do in a place only you and husband can see. Please dont show you kids. Our comunity including your own kids take these very personally.

Who are you?? Do you know me?? Please do this.. Please do that.. huh? I love how caring and considerate you are to my family and my body. Will you eat healthily for me too?? Will you babysit for me too?? Everyone has their own path to follow you cant judge.

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:57 am

nywife wrote:

OP, I understand you. I would love a clean, simple tattoo but unfortunately it is not simple halachically. I actually almost got one a few years ago in my less religious days. Others have mentioned hennas- for me they never quite "did it" bc they weren't the real thing. I have no real solutions, just wanted to pipe in that you're not the only one.

Yes im with you there exactly my feelings!! Thank you

amother

Seashell

Mon, Jan 09 2017, 5:58 am

crust wrote:

Thank you for sharing your kind words:)