Did your husband promise to name your unborn child a name?

freidasima

Sun, May 23 2010, 6:27 am

No but my father was named like that after a great Rebbe who gave his mother a brocho after she lost their firstborn. My father was born only a few years later but was named after this Rebbe who gave brochos to women who couldn't have children. If my husband would have done it for us I would have gone along with it no matter what. a Brocho is a Brocho. And a neder is a neder.

chanchy123

Sun, May 23 2010, 6:38 am

I know several people who did this.
But I have a cute story to tell.
When I gave birth to DS I was in a room with a woman who had just delivered twins, a boy and a girl. These were number five and six I think. After child number four she had secondary fertility issues, and could not conceive for several years. She ended up going to Rebbi Elimelech's kever and to the kever of Rebbi Nachman and she promised that if she had a girl she'd name her Uddel and if she had a boy she'd name him - I draw a blank - can't remember the name (it wasn't a nachman because she already had one and it wasn't elimelech). Anyhow, shortly after she came back to Israel she became pregnant with both a boy and a girl and gave each one the name she had promised.

TzenaRena

Sun, May 23 2010, 8:44 am

This happened with us, but it wasn't my husband, it was myself who had a machshavah, which was probably a "kabbalah al halev" to name after one of the (other) Lubavitch Rebbetzins on the day of (before) my wedding.

When my daughter was born, we wanted to name her after the Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka - it was within months of her passing, and we asked a Rav. Because I hadn't discussed it with my husband at that time, and wasn't married yet, the Rav said my commitment wasn't considered binding, I can't remember if he also asked me questions like "if you had known that...... then would you have made such a committment/ neder etc.", but I think he did.

Mama Bear

Sun, May 23 2010, 9:42 am

I know someone who had gone to 2 different kevarim and promised names there (I think it was Naftali (Ropshitzer) and Elimelech)... and then she had triplets! 2 boys and a girl! before they had the triplets, the rav of their kehillah who is also their grandfather passed away and they had such a big dilemma, here they had promised 2 names and here they had their own illustrious grandfather to name after. They went to their Rebbe who instructed them to give the 2 names they promised, benching them that at some point they would still be zocheh to use their zaide's name. the couple was skeptical, they hadnt had kids for 9 years and just had 3 and couldnt imagine ever having more. fast forward, 3 yrs later htey had another boy and were able to give their zaide's name! I loved that story!

SivanMom

Sun, May 23 2010, 10:12 am

I have never heard of this, but ooh is this giving me ideas. My grandfather was niftar earlier this year and we've been desperate for a way out of naming after him. Sounds cruel, I know, but the name is awful! If I could send DH to a tzaddik's kever and have him make that promise, think we could get away with it? We don't have to tell people that I was already pregnant when he went. Just kidding, but I do find the concept interesting.

amother

Sun, May 23 2010, 11:33 pm

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this thread. question though: is it a "thing" to daven by a tzaddik/tzaddeikes' kever or at a relatives kever? which is "better"?

also it seems most these stories were for boys...I want to do it for a girl...is there a mekor for this?

manhattanmom

Sun, May 23 2010, 11:41 pm

SivanMom wrote:

I don't think that's the way to do it. You simply can't do it to avoid other circumstances--such as naming after someone you loved but couldn't stand the name.

life'sgreat

Sun, May 23 2010, 11:53 pm

amother wrote:

A relative isn't usually the done thing, as there's an inyan to name after a tzadik, specifically some tzadikim that promised to pray on our behalf if we come to their kever. A relative is usually a given in the circles that tend to promise a name after a tzadik.

amother

Pearl

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 7:34 pm

amother wrote:

is this a chassidish minhag? or for litvaks too?

I don't think Litvaks would do this, it sounds like it's a chassidish thing to do. Lately it's common to promise a name by Reb shayale kerestiter and by the Rivnitzer Rebbe (Chaim Zanvil)

cnc

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 7:44 pm

amother wrote:

I don't think Litvaks would do this, it sounds like it's a chassidish thing to do. Lately it's common to promise a name by Reb shayale kerestiter and by the Rivnitzer Rebbe (Chaim Zanvil)

This thread is almost seven years old btw:)

amother

Papaya

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 8:26 pm

But re:

Quote:

after 20 some years of dreaming of naming after my father, I wasn't giving it up for someone I had never met.

we did know someone who went out several times with a girl but he had her father's name & she realized she wouldn't be able to give the name (the father was quite ill at the time). I guess if she really wanted the shidduch she might have found some compromise (or else why would she even have started) but she claimed that was why she broke off the shidduch.

amother

Lemon

Sun, Jan 08 2017, 9:15 pm

Op here,

Baruch Hashem she has had 3 children since this post was hesitant to give the name but asked a Sheila and was told they have to and we are chasidish no idea about litvaks I can ask though Smile

Chayalle

Tue, Jan 10 2017, 10:27 am

amother wrote:

I don't think Litvaks would do this, it sounds like it's a chassidish thing to do. Lately it's common to promise a name by Reb shayale kerestiter and by the Rivnitzer Rebbe (Chaim Zanvil)

My brother named his oldest son Shimon, after Rashbi. He was born a few years after they were married, and they promised that name.

amother

Bronze

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 7:04 am

amother wrote:

Oops sorry to correct but litvaks is not considered the nicest name. Im sure you did not know. Always use litvich or litviche or litai or IDK. A lot of people dont know. Its like dont use frenk for a sfarady and dont use litvak for litai

amother

Goldenrod

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 8:07 am

I voted no because my husband didnt promise. I t was me. We were at meron and I promised a shimon of I ever have a healthy baby which was unlikely. I found myself pregnant shortly after. When I had the baby I had just lost a grandfather from both sides. We still went with shimon as my word is a word.