Child playing with food = inadequate guardianship?

PAMOM

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:50 pm

Caretakers cannot nap when mobile babies are able to access dangerous things or situations.
There seems to be a lot more than we know. Unless this is part of a custody battle it continues endangering her child, there's no reason to think her child will be removed.

Last edited by PAMOM on Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

Iymnok

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:55 pm

I napped today. I know everyone was fine because they woke me every couple minutes.
What will be next, did they dump baby powder all over the room then swim in it?

Where was she sleeping? How old are the kids?
Are tired moms not allowed to nap?
and how does someone else know about it?

Sorry, the description sounds so normal. But most people aren't under scrutiny.

thunderstorm

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:57 pm

I remember two cases where I had conked out from sleep deprivation. One time my toddler climbed up to a cabinet and drank an entire bottle of Motrin and one time two of my toddlers escaped my apartment from their bedroom window even though the door was bolted with a dead bolt. They were riding their bikes in their underwear and pampers. Since then I've learned that it's seriously dangerous to sleep while a toddler is without supervision. If this woman's ex is trying to gain custody he will find every opportunity to report her. If she is so sleep deprived and she is single she should be reaching out for help. Either ask a neighbor or friend to watch her kids while she lies down, or she should hire a sitter while she naps. I hope they don't take away her children because of this but I hope she learned her lesson as well.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:59 pm

Iymnok wrote:

...
What will be next, did they dump baby powder all over the room then swim in it?...

My toddler niece and nephew rubbed baby oil all over a tiled bathroom and then threw powder on the walls.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:59 pm

Squishy wrote:

She has an infant and is sleep deprived and exhausted. She is going round the clock on her own. Her child is no more prone to messes than any other 3 year old. She screams in a play pen. Messes can be cleaned.

I just looked on the What to Expect site. It seems that it is ok for a mom to nap.

What do the ladies here think? Can moms nap?

I do think moms can nap if kids are right there and in a safe space. Was there actually furniture nearby that the child could push to the balcony? It sounds like the child was able to go upstairs and down if there was an issue with the upstairs and the kitchen (im guessing kitchen is not upstairs). I don't know the situation or how safe the house is but I would say just nap it's fine without knowing how childproof the house is.

33055

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 5:59 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Thank you. That is how I feel. She was in her room sleeping. The kid started out in there and made her way to the kitchen.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:02 pm

I was investigated once, because my ex's crazy girlfriend made a malicious report against me.

My house was very cluttered (but not unsafe or dirty) and there were a few dishes in the sink. DD was interviewed, I was interviewed, I gave a tour of the house, and was told that there was no problem. The social worker said that my file would be open for 6 months, in case there were any additional reports, and then it would be completely closed. There were no further investigations or problems after that one visit.

They will want to see that there is food in the house, the kids are dressed and reasonably clean, there are enough toys and beds for everyone, the heat and lights are on, etc. Just the basics.

It sounds to me like someone reported your friend out of spite. That is what needs to be investigated. A good social worker will see right through those shenanigans. They get called out for nothing all the time. My social worker actually apologized to me!

33055

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:08 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

This is how it should have been. You had a good social worker. This report is indicated on two counts. The finding is the balcony is not safe, and the messy child and home were written up as proof.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:12 pm

Squishy wrote:

Thank you. That is how I feel. She was in her room sleeping. The kid started out in there and made her way to the kitchen.

The kitchen and bathroom are the two most dangerous rooms in the house. I hope for her and the kids sale that the kitchen is properly childproofed.

But really if she expected the child to stay on her room she should really make sure the door is locked in a way that a three year old can't escape.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:13 pm

Squishy wrote:

This is how it should have been. You had a good social worker. This report is indicated on two counts. The finding is the balcony is not safe, and the messy child and home were written up as proof.

I was reported for being a drug addict (because I take antidepressants), for sleeping all day and ignoring DD (I don't, but I nap while she's at school), for starving DD (because I don't allow cookies before dinner) and a bunch of other things.

Crazy girlfriend was extremely unstable, and jealous that ex and I had a good parenting plan in place. She knew about my house because I let her visit when ex came over. I thought we could be friends. I have no idea what she was trying to accomplish, because ex did not want custody of DD. She just wanted to create drama.

B'H everything worked out fine, but DD and I were traumatized all the same. For the longest time DD was scared that people were going to come and take her away from me. Sad

peanut butter c

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:22 pm

Squishy wrote:

This is how it should have been. You had a good social worker. This report is indicated on two counts. The finding is the balcony is not safe, and the messy child and home were written up as proof.

Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like they found the complaint to be substantiated. If that's the case then are you really here looking for a defense to help her get out of it or are they working with her to help her cope better (which is usually what they do) and she's just scared that she may fail to comply with what they are requiring of her to keep her kids?

33055

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:26 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Squishy, why not help your friend out with some child proofing and installing a high bolt lock in the room she will be using for naps and the bathroom door. This is a teachable moment.

Already been done.

33055

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:32 pm

peanut butter c wrote:

I am looking for a way for her to explain it in family court. As is being guessed, it is a crazy future ex threatening to take away the kids and her home. Ironically, the railing was fine when he lived there because he installed it.

She has done everything she can think of. She installed the locks. I can't even imagine the stress she is under.

Teomima

Sun, Jan 15 2017, 6:35 pm

Squishy wrote:

I think, while the mess itself is normal, the real issue at hand is problematic. Leaving a three year old to have free range, access to a balcony and a fridge and who knows what else, while the mother sleeps is not okay. I feel for the tired mom, I really do, but then she needs to get help, someone else to supervise her children, while she naps. 3 is way too young to be unsupervised in a home, especially if they're not locked in the same (childproof) room with sleeping mom (this I've done, for short dozings off).