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3 Year old completely different at school-spectrum behavior



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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:42 pm
I spoke to my dcs teacher and they commented that my dc is showing some spectrum like behaviors at school, such as repeating words, flat affect, being rigid about routines, and playing with toys oddly, and lack of social skills, inattentiveness. It is noted that dc is sweet, good verbal skills, very smart.

How could it be that none of those things are apparent at home?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:46 pm
amother wrote:
I spoke to my dcs teacher and they commented that my dc is showing some spectrum like behaviors at school, such as repeating words, flat affect, being rigid about routines, and playing with toys oddly, and lack of social skills, inattentiveness. It is noted that dc is sweet, good verbal skills, very smart.

How could it be that none of those things are apparent at home?


It's called a spectrum for a reason. If you child has Aspergers, he can be highly intelligent and extremely verbal, while still being on the spectrum in many other ways.

You may not have noticed because you see him as your funny, quirky little boy. Trained professionals who don't have the same level of emotional involvement can often see things that parents overlook.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 8:08 pm
I am struggling with the same thing! My son shows so many "spectrum behaviors" on paper, but he is nothing like any spectrum kid I ever met...it's like a normal kid with sensory dysfunction, ocd and anxiety tics, and some "off" social skills, but just very weird stuff...like he has no idea about proper voice modulation, will shriek at the strangest times and in reaction to the strangest things, but cannot get that it's innapropriate! And he's in fifth grade, but he still forgets you can't speak after washing sometimes!!! But I know so many spectrum kids, and he just isn't like them...don't know what to think : (
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 8:21 pm
A lot of things have the same "symptoms" but may be coming from a different source. Really, the teacher should call them "red flag" behaviors. While it is possible he is on the spectrum, it is also possible that he is not on the spectrum. The question is, what is the source of these behaviors? That is what a qualified diagnostician will try to get at. I'm not sure about diagnostic criteria, but I think they don't diagnose "spectrum" unless it appears in at least two settings (ex. school and at home).
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 9:02 pm
Thanks octopus. FF, while of course I'm biased as the mom I've worked in special ed for over 5 years so I'm not totally clueless, plus no warning signs at all through the toddler years. I am planning to take dc to a developmental pediatrician just to clarify but the waiting lists are insane.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 9:04 pm
amother wrote:
I am struggling with the same thing! My son shows so many "spectrum behaviors" on paper, but he is nothing like any spectrum kid I ever met...it's like a normal kid with sensory dysfunction, ocd and anxiety tics, and some "off" social skills, but just very weird stuff...like he has no idea about proper voice modulation, will shriek at the strangest times and in reaction to the strangest things, but cannot get that it's innapropriate! And he's in fifth grade, but he still forgets you can't speak after washing sometimes!!! But I know so many spectrum kids, and he just isn't like them...don't know what to think : (


Was he officially diagnosed? If so I guess not every presentation is the same, if not him evaluated or re-evaluated. Hugs mama it's tough.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 9:27 pm
Seafoam, that wait time is a pain; you have my sympathy.

Don't jump to any conclusions based on comparisons; every child on the spectrum presents a little differently. The axiom is, "If you've seen one child on the spectrum, you've seen...

one child on the spectrum."

OP, get him further tested. It's really the only way forward.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:30 pm
amother wrote:
I am struggling with the same thing! My son shows so many "spectrum behaviors" on paper, but he is nothing like any spectrum kid I ever met...it's like a normal kid with sensory dysfunction, ocd and anxiety tics, and some "off" social skills, but just very weird stuff...like he has no idea about proper voice modulation, will shriek at the strangest times and in reaction to the strangest things, but cannot get that it's innapropriate! And he's in fifth grade, but he still forgets you can't speak after washing sometimes!!! But I know so many spectrum kids, and he just isn't like them...don't know what to think : (

Maybe you also know a lot of people that you don't know are on the spectrum...


Last edited by seeker on Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:40 pm; edited 1 time in total
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:37 pm
octopus wrote:
A lot of things have the same "symptoms" but may be coming from a different source. Really, the teacher should call them "red flag" behaviors. While it is possible he is on the spectrum, it is also possible that he is not on the spectrum. The question is, what is the source of these behaviors? That is what a qualified diagnostician will try to get at. I'm not sure about diagnostic criteria, but I think they don't diagnose "spectrum" unless it appears in at least two settings (ex. school and at home).

This. I hope the teachers just mentioned the behaviors to you and didn't actually call them "spectrum behaviors." That would be SO unprofessional.

I've seen kids who present differently at home and in school. School is much more demanding socially, behaviorally, and with regard to sensory processing. There are also some things that you only tend to notice in contrast to other kids. Sometimes after someone gets a diagnosis that they weren't expecting, they later realize there were little things at home that they just never thought of as being any kind of symptom. Sometimes it's not so much a matter of them acting differently at home and in school, but rather the behaviors come out earlier in school because it's more demanding. Sometimes the home environment is just optimal for the child so they don't have an issue, but in school when they need to move with the group you suddenly have more of an issue if the child is rigid about routines.

I'm not saying your kid is or isn't on the spectrum, I'm only addressing the question of "How are the teachers saying things that never happen at home?"
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 12:11 am
imasinger wrote:
Seafoam, that wait time is a pain; you have my sympathy.

Don't jump to any conclusions based on comparisons; every child on the spectrum presents a little differently. The axiom is, "If you've seen one child on the spectrum, you've seen...

one child on the spectrum."

OP, get him further tested. It's really the only way forward.


Sea foam is a different poster. I'm not convinced my child is on the spectrum but we'll see.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 12:23 am
You don't need to be convinced or unconvinced... just if the teacher has concerns about behaviors, then it's worth looking for some insight.

FTR I've seen some kids present as very "spectrummy" when really they are just having an extreme sensory reaction. Behaviors and all. Sometimes it's good if they get a diagnosis anyway because then you can tap into helpful services more easily. You can always lose the diagnosis later on. It's happened.
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smilealot




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 4:22 am
amother wrote:
I am struggling with the same thing! My son shows so many "spectrum behaviors" on paper, but he is nothing like any spectrum kid I ever met...it's like a normal kid with sensory dysfunction, ocd and anxiety tics, and some "off" social skills, but just very weird stuff...like he has no idea about proper voice modulation, will shriek at the strangest times and in reaction to the strangest things, but cannot get that it's innapropriate! And he's in fifth grade, but he still forgets you can't speak after washing sometimes!!! But I know so many spectrum kids, and he just isn't like them...don't know what to think : (

Omg. Ur son seems exactly like mine. I could have written exactly the same. Word for word.
So good to know that I'm not alone. 😊
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little_mage




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 6:26 am
Periwinkle, you just described my son to a T. He's five now, and was diagnosed with ASD last year. I'm wondering, have you tried toilet training him yet? My son is still not what I'd call trained; that was actually one of our major red flags that pushed us to an evaluation.
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ceebee




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 6:47 am
amother wrote:
it's like a normal kid with sensory dysfunction, ocd and anxiety tics, and some "off" social skills, but just very weird stuff...like he has no idea about proper voice modulation, will shriek at the strangest times and in reaction to the strangest things (


Today, these quirky kids are getting diagnosed with ASD. Look up the current criteria for a diagnosis here https://www.autismspeaks.org/w.....teria

The symptoms you describe can easily fall under the diagnostic criteria. For parents that need that label, they can pursue an evaluation with a developmental doctor or child psychologist. The label doesnt have to mean anything more than that though, at home he is still your normal kid. And getting services can also help you learn how to deal with him more effectively as well.
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Queen6




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 6:49 am
Just Ben very careful. Teachers are quick to label and diagnose. Not every rigid child is ASD.
I would wait it out a bit. Is he happy in school? Stimulated? Are the morah's good?
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 8:15 am
seeker wrote:
You don't need to be convinced or unconvinced... just if the teacher has concerns about behaviors, then it's worth looking for some insight.

FTR I've seen some kids present as very "spectrummy" when really they are just having an extreme sensory reaction. Behaviors and all. Sometimes it's good if they get a diagnosis anyway because then you can tap into helpful services more easily. You can always lose the diagnosis later on. It's happened.


this.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 8:46 am
little_mage wrote:
Periwinkle, you just described my son to a T. He's five now, and was diagnosed with ASD last year. I'm wondering, have you tried toilet training him yet? My son is still not what I'd call trained; that was actually one of our major red flags that pushed us to an evaluation.


We're toilet training now and it's slow but steady.

Queen I don't know if the morahs are great. From the meeting I almost got the sense that they looked up asd crtiteria snd slapped them on my kid just because so many of those behaviors don't really fit dc or are a bit of a stretch. We will go off this evaluation and then find out eventually!
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