My 6 yo eating habits/pickiness is driving me crazy!

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:34 pm

my 6 year old was always a picky eater- most fruits are off limits, most raw vegetables, and majority of things the rest of us eat...

I normally dont get nervous about kids not eating- but shes driving me crazy bc every day its an added thing she wont eat.
she recently started complaining that I dont make any food she likes - so I ask her and she tells me what to make, and then tells me she doesn't like it!
every single supper I made this week - she took one bite and said "I tried it and I dont like it"

but yet shes still complaining that she has nothing to eat-
any suggestions???
oh and everything I make is usually kid friendly nothing fancy

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:58 pm

Ugh, I remember that stage. DD had me literally in tears! I clearly remember standing in the grocery aisle and begging her, "Just pick out something you will eat!"

Let her make suggestions for meal plans, but don't drive yourself crazy trying to accommodate her. Give her ONE healthy option, if she doesn't like what you cook. "If you don't like the chicken nuggets, then you can eat bell pepper strips." or whatever else works for you.

Do not do what I did, and try to become a short order cook. Your house is not a fancy restaurant, and there is not a huge menu. Only give healthy options. Ice cream and potato chips are not appropriate choices!

Contrary to what your child would have you believe, she will not starve to death. She might be hungry and kvetchy for a few days, but she will eventually cave in and eat something.

If my DD had her way, she would live only on "white foods". Vanilla ice cream, potatoes, noodles, bread, rice, and pizza crusts (only the crust!) No starches should be served until after she eats the protein and veg on her plate. Otherwise, she'll eat all the starch first, and then say she's full.

It's OK to be a little flexible, but you need to have firm boundaries, seasoned with a bit of tough love.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:26 pm

tell her that she has to take one bite of every food you serve. she's allowed to spit it out if she hates it, but if she can tolerate it, she should swallow it. after that, if she doesn't like what's served, she can find herself what to eat as long as it's not a snack. my kids will generally go for a sandwich or yogurt if they don't like what I serve. also, she has to pick a fruit or veggie and eat it. she can pick right then and there so the "but I don't feel like it NOW" attitude doesn't kick in. if she can't find what to eat, she'll survive being hungry. and no food after dinner.

amother

cornflower

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:39 pm

I agree with Mummiedearest. My healthy recently-married DD (mazal tov!) was a horrible eater. I had family members with eating disorders and I knew I didn't want food to be an issue, but she hit a point where she wasn't gaining (about age 5) and only ate about 4 - 6 things. I had a wonderful pediatrician who had me keep a food diary for a month. At the end, she told me that DD was eating fine over a period of a week (and she started gaining again after 6 months). But we had a couple of years of "one bite and you can spit it out" while serving food I knew she'd eat--yoghurt, pasta, 5 versions of meat sauce with ground beef, grilled cheese, pb and j, and toast--and more pasta. If she didn't want what I cooked, she ate a fallback that didn't involve cooking, and I was always very matter of fact. She also ate some fruit but no vegetables (except the tomatoes in the meat sauce and whatever I hid in it).
She grew up, eats relatively normally if selectively, and doesn't have an eating disorder. I sympathize --but if she's eating protein and fruit, just let it go.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:44 pm

thanks for the replies!
its her ideas (for example meatballs and spagetti) that she asked me to make and I made it happily and she spit it out !!!!!
so asking her what she would like to suggest for supper has not been working for her.
also yes, long ago I stopped being a short order cook.

if she would eat more fruits and vegetables I really wouldn't care, but she hates them.
so telling her to go eat take her own thing thats healthy really gives her no options.
bc she wont eat it . (she doesn't like yogurt, hard cheese gives her a stomach ache)

if it were up to her it would be cereal and milk. day in and day out. oh and maybe a pizza bagel .

im going crazy bc its all day everyday- snacks, lunch and supper that shes complaining.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:58 pm

amother wrote:

interesting. have you looked into why hard cheese gives her a stomach ache? fascinating that cheese bothers her when milk doesn't. have you discussed this with her doctor?

I recommend you read "bread and jam for frances" and "gregory the picky eater" with her. they're fun books. discuss them and see if she can give you some insight into the cause of her picky habits. when I was a kid, I was super picky. I ate cheerios and not much else for a year. I had cream cheese sandwiches nearly every day for lunch until sixth grade. I was very honest about why I was picky: I didn't like certain textures in my mouth. no one had any concept of helping sensory children at the time (at least not in my family or school), so I was put down as a stubborn child. I outgrew my pickiness, but I developed a digestive disorder as an adult. I eat more healthily than I ever imagined I would, but I can't tolerate a long list of foods. if your child is picky due to sensory issues, it makes sense for her to flip-flop regarding menu. if her socks are bothering her, she may not be able to handle spaghetti sauce at the same time. talk to her about her food concerns, encourage her to try new things, and consider getting an OT evaluation if it continues to concern you. if it's not a sensory thing, consider a motivational chart. "eat a rainbow" is fun for young kids. they keep track of the different colors of food they eat throughout the day. if they eat something of every color over the course of a day/week (week would probably work better with your dd), they get a small prize. keep the chart on the fridge and see what happens. make the chart boxes big enough to write in the food and her opinion on it. and if you have time for it, have her help you actually cook supper. encourage tasting throughout the cooking process by doing it yourself.

amother

Lemon

Fri, Jan 20 2017, 8:40 am

Cereal and milk is actually quite nutritious. Tell her as follows- she has to taste a small piece of at least 3 foods on the table. She can decides if she likes them, and she can decide what and how much of each she wants to eat or not eat. And then ignore what she eats or doesn't eat. This will give her some control and also lose your attention, which will hopefully allow her to take any games or attention-seeking behaviors or control issues out of mealtime (when we did this, my daughter we taste everything, declare she didn't like it, see that we ignored it, and then eat an entire portion of food, declaring over and over again that she didn't like it. She eventually stopped, and now just eats what she wants without much fuss or fanfare).

Also, tell her that if she really doesn't like anything, she is welcome to take cereal and milk by herself and eat that, but she has to get it herself, because you are busy with the food you made (help pour, if necessary, per age-appropriate ability). This way, if she decides not to eat your food, she's not getting attention for it and isn't disrupting your mealtime for it either. Then, let her eat cereal and milk at every meal if she wants. We did this with my daughter with cereal and milk and with pasta and she eventually got so sick of them that she started either other food. And living on cereal and milk for a while is really fine nutrition wise - it has protein, fat, carbs, vitamins and minerals.