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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
naomi2
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 8:45 am
I think belly buttons are fine but since I wouldn't breastfeed uncovered in front of a six year old, I wouldn't show them those pictures either.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 9:33 am
OP here.
Obviously the tznius part doesn't bother me or my husband.
I hear you all that it is healthy but would someone feel comfortable asking their husband how these kinds of things affected him when he was a teen. And I do think my husband has a little anxiety around this bec my son touches himself to soothe (used to do it a lot. Now barely ever. Only when very agitated). And my husband would tell me we need to stop it bec he will have issues when he is a teen.
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SixOfWands
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 9:56 am
DrMom wrote: | How is the children's book you describe ANYTHING like Playboy Magazine?? |
(1) Both include words and letters;
(2) Both include photos of women;
(3) Both are printed on paper;
(4) Neither include nudity.
Totally bizarre to think z3xualize a book on belly buttons ... or a 6 year old's thoughts, for that matter.
Hope OP's son enjoys the book.
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mommy3b2c
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 10:28 am
amother wrote: | OP here.
Obviously the tznius part doesn't bother me or my husband.
I hear you all that it is healthy but would someone feel comfortable asking their husband how these kinds of things affected him when he was a teen. And I do think my husband has a little anxiety around this bec my son touches himself to soothe (used to do it a lot. Now barely ever. Only when very agitated). And my husband would tell me we need to stop it bec he will have issues when he is a teen. |
Actually, if your husband doesn't calm down, he will cause your son issues.
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Lady Bug
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 10:36 am
mommy3b2c wrote: | Actually, if your husband doesn't calm down, he will cause your son issues. |
My thoughts exactly. If there's anything here that might contribute to your son having s-xual issues, it is your husband's attitude towards s-x and s-xuality. It sounds like your husband struggles in this area and can use an overhaul in his beliefs around s-x. How will he have a healthy conversation and impart healthy s-xuality when it's time for him to actually talk about the real thing with your son?
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Chayalle
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 11:27 am
I wouldn't show a six year old boy pictures of a mom breastfeeding because my Hashkafa is to teach them not to look at non-tznius pictures.
The rest of the book sounds fine. If there were a way to just block out that picture, it would be okay.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 1:52 pm
Can someone humor me and ask their husband's opinion. Thanks!
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cozyblanket
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 2:14 pm
Chayalle wrote: | I wouldn't show a six year old boy pictures of a mom breastfeeding because my Hashkafa is to teach them not to look at non-tznius pictures.
The rest of the book sounds fine. If there were a way to just block out that picture, it would be okay. |
This exactly. Cover the not tznius pics of humans nursing... and the rest seems fine!!
My kids used to pretend to pump when my pump and I were almost permanent fixtures on the couch. They would cover with a baby blanket, as I did, stick the tubing up their shirts and say they are getting milk for the baby (in the NICU). It's a fact of life...
And belly buttons aren't se.xual... they are how we nurture babies in utero... knowing what that is doesn't mean anything about if the child knows how the baby got there in the first place. They are two different things.
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tichellady
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Fri, Jan 20 2017, 4:13 pm
The issue is not the book. Whether you should read the book or not, is not such a big deal, you can use your judgement.
Whether or not your son is exposed to any biological information, he will likely (unless he's homosexual or asexual) be attracted to women and have zxual urges as a teenager/man. That doesn't come from childhood books or even from looking at playboy. It's hormonal. obviously we don't want to expose our children to inappropriate things but whether you do or don't, your child will likely grow up to have s-xual desires and urges (which is normal and healthy). A man being attracted to the female body is not a fixation.
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FranticFrummie
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Sat, Jan 21 2017, 11:33 am
Doesn't anyone think that covering the picture makes it all the more tantalizing?
If I were an average, curious kid, with an interest in science, I would be OBSESSED with getting that sticker off!
The best way to protect your child, is to make it a non issue, just part of human existence. The more you normalize something, the less power it has to become a fixation.
(And before anyone jumps in and says "Why don't you just get him a Playboy?", you know darn well that's not what I mean.)
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amother
Pumpkin
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Sat, Jan 21 2017, 8:51 pm
I'm posting anon because I'm embarrassed
I always thought the belly button was s-xual. What comes to mind is the Coors beer ad with a woman with bear splattering around her belly button. But I'm seeing so many posts here about how belly buttons are not s-xual.... am I wrong on this? I think modern society has sexualized belly buttons to a certain degree.
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leopardspots
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Sat, Jan 21 2017, 8:52 pm
Why isn't a picture of a nursing mother "tznius"?!!!
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greenfire
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Sat, Jan 21 2017, 10:33 pm
amother wrote: | I'm posting anon because I'm embarrassed
I always thought the belly button was s-xual. What comes to mind is the Coors beer ad with a woman with bear splattering around her belly button. But I'm seeing so many posts here about how belly buttons are not s-xual.... am I wrong on this? I think modern society has sexualized belly buttons to a certain degree. |
lemme see ... if a woman uses her finger to do something zexually enticing - does the finger then become untznius ... what about people with a foot fixation ... I guess it's how far the mind is willing to go
but then everything else would be out there too ... including whip cream which just wouldn't ever be kosher
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