Damage control ? | Imamother

amother

Navy

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 6:20 am

To make a long story short, despite all efforts and firewalls and filters and parental controls, my 11 y/o son saw something inappropriate on a computer. IDK exactly what he saw, but one of his classmates convinced him that if he wanted to see something really, really funny, all he had to do was type in s-e-x and look at pictures. Whatever he saw, it disturbed him so much that he threw the laptop into the garbage. Now he's says he is so upset he can't stop thinking about what he saw and he doesn't understand what it was, but he still 'sees' it in his mind.
Any thoughts on how to handle this aftermath?

amother

cornflower

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:43 am

Oh man. That's bad.

Time to sit down my son and have a talk. Say it factually and calmly. "There is something called sx. Sx is when two adults are very close and physical with each other in a specific way. Married people do this. It might sound weird at first when we haven't talked about this before. Kids don't have sx. Only adults. It is a good thing, not an embarrassing or bad thing. It is sort of like a hug, but a closer, married type. Hashem made a man and a woman's body different so that they can connect in this special way. This is how babies are made. I don't know what you saw, but I imagine that it can be scary and weird if you don't know what is going on. You might also be picturing it and feeling like you want to try it. That is also a normal feeling. I won't judge you for any of your feelings. You can be open with me and I will help you understand this. I am sorry I didn't prepare you before you saw whatever you saw, and I am sorry that you found out about sx this way. If you are more comfortable talking to Daddy about this, that is fine too. So, how are you feeling? Do you want to talk to me or about Daddy?

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:37 pm

That's good advice in general, but it may not help if OP's son saw something that was not plain vanilla zex but was a bit "more" and disturbing to him. I get the impression that may have been what happened

SplitPea

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:49 pm

I would start with looking at the history of the laptop and seeing exactly the page he was at and exactly what he saw. (YOU do this not your husband) and then take it from there. Especially if he saw some more flavorful stuff this you need to know what to expect. A therapist might be able to help him work out his feelings.

Side note... was the computer not filtered? A white list might be good to use with him in the future.

I would also speak to someone about the other boy and his situation to be telling your son to look up such words

amother

Ruby

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 9:51 pm

That's a pretty good reaction for this because my friends brother had classmates raping each other!😪😪
When my friends brother got older he had terrible OCD symptoms.
I'm impressed your son went the frum way.
I once saw something not appropriate when I was a teen and I was told to look at a picture of a tzadik and it helped. Poor boy!😘