Can I sell handmedowns or is that stealing?

greenfire

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 11:57 pm

so long as it wasn't a loan whilst your child was a certain size that was to be given back or a crib or stroller that was a loan ... then by all means sell it

once it has been given or thrown out you can even collect other people's garbage & sell it - many people don't realize what they're dumping could very well have value to someone else ... I've found real silver cutlery in the garbage

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 2:42 am

I was looking to give away some good clothes to someone that could use them and a co-worker told me she knew someone that could use it.
Only after I gave her the bundles she clarified that this someone owns a for-profit store and will be selling these clothes.
I was not thrilled to have unknowingly donated to someone's private business when I would have been happy to give to the end-user for free.

amother

Brown

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 7:47 am

I think it makes a difference whether it was given to you or you asked for it. I've had some people drop off hand-me-downs without asking and it's a pain for me to find people who want them. In that case, as nice as it is, I don't think it's your responsibility to find someone who can use the items and you have every right to sell them.

It does irk me when people post on Facebook or a whatsapp group that they're giving something away and someone snatches it first to sell when other people wanted it for themselves.

Seas

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 9:46 am

Personally I wouldn't have a problem if I gave something to a needy person and they sold it to get cash instead. What would bother me is if someone who can afford to buy the item took it just because it was free, because then they're depriving another needy person.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 9:46 am

You should really ask the person who gave it to you. When I give things away I like to think I sent it in a path of paying it forward. At the very least if someone sold it I would want them to tell me. For a very expensive item I would honestly ask for proceeds and for other things I would be happy that you can profit but I would want to be told in case I now have someone else to give it to.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 9:56 am

It would make me very upset.
If I am giving you something instead of selling it myself it's because I'm trying to do a mitzvah and be giving to someone who needs something.
If you sell what I gave you its like a slap in the face. I could have sold it myself but chose to give it to you for free.

kenz

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 10:50 am

This is clearly very subjective because I give away stuff all the time and wouldn't bat an eyelash if I walked past a consignment store and saw some of it hanging in the window. I would recognize that I didn't have the time, energy or desire to try to sell it, and someone else did - good for them. I would also assume that anyone going through the bother of selling used clothing or other items must need the parnassah - it's not like it's a hobby for most people, though I'm sure it's gratifying. The only thing I can think of that might bother me is if I gave someone an expensive gown for a specific use, like if they needed it for a family simcha, and found out they were selling it instead. That I think I would want to be asked about, unless I specifically made it clear they could do with it as they wished. But my kids' used clothing or toys? Knock yourself out.

Jeanette

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:34 am

I have sold stuff on ebay and it's really a hassle. You have to take pictures, upload them, write a description, package the item and be ready to run to the post office as soon as it sells. It was not worth all the bother for the small sums that it brought in. If someone else is willing to go to the trouble and can profit, kol hakavod to them.

Jeanette

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:38 am

amother wrote:

If I want to do a mitzva I'd go to the store and buy you some new clothing . Or I'd give you a gift card to spend as you please. When I give away old stuff it's because I have no use for them and no space to store them. Why should I resent the other person for making money off it? Selling it yourself is a lot of work (see my previous post.)

SixOfWands

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:43 am

Jeanette wrote:

In that case, you'd probably say "I don't want it back, do whatever you want with it." The OP was specifically told to "pass it on."

In any case, Fox is right. OP can ask, and be guided by the answer.

[And, as I said before, the fact that selling it yourself is a lot of work made OP's comment that she sold it because it was easier than giving it away a bit odd.]

Jeanette

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:48 am

SixOfWands wrote:

I'm not getting the argument. Let's say I have no use for a size 6 Shabbos dress but I do have use for the $10-15 I can get for it on ebay. You've still done your mitzva. Or do you davka only want to benefit people who have girls who wear size 6?

yksraya

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:53 am

When ppl say "if you don't need it pass it on" they don't litterally mean it. It's just a way of saying "I really have no use of it, but it's in too a good condition to be thrown into the garbage".

MrsDash

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:58 am

Here's my take on this. If you took an item with the intent to use or give away, but ended up selling for whatever reason, you're good. If you took an item with intent to sell and make money off of, you're not good. Otherwise, when something is gifted to you, what you do with it is your business as long as your initial motives were innocent.

SixOfWands

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 11:59 am

Jeanette wrote:

I'll try again.

Some people don't care what you do with the clothing. So they might say,"I have some things you might want. I don't want them back. If you can't use them, just do whatever you want with them." Then you should feel free to sell them, burn them for fuel, or whatever you want.

Other people do care. They say, "I don't want them back. Pass them on when you're done." They've told you what they want done with the stuff. If you've no intention of doing that, then you're obligated to say, "Look, I probably won't pass them on. I'll sell them, or throw them out." If the donor is OK with that, she'll say so.

When my kids were little, I was often able to find high-end clothes for Old Navy prices. Whatever survived the youngest in good shape was given as hand me downs with the instruction, "pass it on if you can't use it." Because I wanted to see it used by someone who needed it.

SixOfWands

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 12:01 pm

yksraya wrote:

When ppl say "if you don't need it pass it on" they don't litterally mean it. It's just a way of saying "I really have no use of it, but it's in too a good condition to be thrown into the garbage".

So then there's no harm in asking.

The only reason not to ask is if the donor really doesn't want it sold.

Jeanette

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 12:04 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Yeah, if those are the stipulations I wouldn't accept the clothing. It puts too much of a burden on the recipient to find a good home for them. It can be hard to find someone who needs that size, in season, their style and taste etc.

ra_mom

Fri, Feb 03 2017, 12:29 pm

MrsDash wrote:

Here's my take on this. If you took an item with the intent to use or give away, but ended up selling for whatever reason, you're good. If you took an item with intent to sell and make money off of, you're not good. Otherwise, when something is
gifted to you, what you do with it is your business as long as your initial motives were innocent.

I agree Mrs Dash.

And I also think that if you find someone who wants to buy the used item (for a fraction of what it originally cost) then obviously the clothes are wanted and will be loved and put to good use (and possibly this is a chesed too).