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Forum -> Working Women
VENT- I am exausted, overwhelmed and ahhhhhhh



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amother
Indigo


 

Post Wed, Feb 08 2017, 9:12 pm
Seriously this is just a vent. I know people have it worse than me and I keep reminding myself that but its not helping. Im sorry its long.
I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years now (working p/t from home bc I had 2 children under 2 and the baby was very sick and needed full time care). My husband is a very hard worker- unfortunately hasn't yielded much results. He invested all of our money into opening his own company and SURPRISE things aren't going the way he wanted them to. He has not made money in almost 3 months. He is also NEVER home. Like almost never. works motzei shabbas, sundays, evening.
This morning our phones were shut off and I received 2 notices that our electricity and heat are being shut off at the end of this week.
I am not lazy. I found a job that I had been working for the past 3 weeks but they haven't paid me yet so I found a different job. Tuesday was my first day. I had to leave early b/c the babysitter I found had to leave at 12 and my husband was supposed to come home and he didn't. I couldn't go in today because I wasn't going to rely on my husband to be home when clearly he isn't responsible enough to handle that (We got into a MASSIVE fight on Tuesday after I was upset because he messed up a lot of peoples schedule but according to him he didn't nothing wrong b/c he was working - I was getting my nails done right???)
I have 0 house help. (DH occasionally helps when begged).
I have been trying to apply for food stamps for 3 months and it has not gone through yet.
Thank gd my baby is a beautiful healthy 17 month old trouble maker. HUGE trouble maker and I just don't have the energy to deal with him. I just cant. He spilled coffee all over my papers, empties my cabinets and I know I should be thankful that he is active and bla bla bla but my throat actually hurts from yelling at him so much today.
I now need to ask my landlords for a letter stating that I am 3 months behind on rent for food stamps and I am so embarrassed and uncomfortable.
I have been getting food from a food pantry.
I cant remember the last time my kids slept through the night.
I'm a horrible mother who just screams at her children.
I am stressed out, exhausted and overwhelmed.
How do working mothers do it?
How am I supposed to take care of 2 children under 3, work a half hr away from my house, take care of my apartment, cook all by myself? I am only 1 person!!!!!
How did my life come to this? This was never my plan. My husband and I are both college graduates and we never expected THIS to be our life. I want to move out of NY soooooo badly and just run from all our problems.
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Wed, Feb 08 2017, 9:30 pm
And I have a yeast infectiong!
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Wed, Feb 08 2017, 9:47 pm
wow, you really have a lot on your plate. It's ok to feel your pain and stress. You ARE only one person, and you can't do everything always perfectly. I'd strongly suggest you go into self care mode. Number one, you need to have an hour of unstressed, focused, pleasant time with your husband every week. Try to get a chessed girl? Take a bath with a bath bomb? Do a face mask? Buy a bakery treat? Play an instrument? I hope Hashem helps you work out the parnassa issues soon! Sending anonymous support....
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Wed, Feb 08 2017, 10:02 pm
You asked how working moms do it? Full time daycare. Subsidized if they qualify. I'm not from NY. Is that an option?
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 09 2017, 12:04 am
Wow, this sounds really hard. Hugs.

Also, your DH needs to step up. You cannot do everything.
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amother
White


 

Post Thu, Feb 09 2017, 5:04 am
daycare!!!

dH has to help. (eg. every other night he has to wake up so u can sleep through).


lock rooms, where your toddler cant enter (saves my sanity) this way he can only make balagan one place at a time.

write a weekly time plan- so that dH and you know exactly who is where at what time (ie. when can you leave the house to work, when is he at home...and make him stick to it.

yoghut and clotrimazol help- I hate yeast infections---


HUGS!!!!
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, Feb 09 2017, 7:03 am
amother wrote:
You asked how working moms do it? Full time daycare. Subsidized if they qualify. I'm not from NY. Is that an option?


How do I get subsidized day care? Im in NY does that mean I would need to send him to a non Jewish place?
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, Feb 09 2017, 7:14 am
I wish my husband would step up but he is so stressed out from working 2 jobs that I honestly don't know if he can handle that! I don't know that he can handle one more thing on his plate. He often works 36 hour shifts with no slkeep. A chesed girl is a good idea! I wonder if I can call a local school to have someone help for super to bed time
Also that is a great idea I should borrow a gate for my kitchen to block the kids out!
So happy I vented here a many great ideas!
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 09 2017, 7:37 am
If you're both working and making under the threshold, you can apply for day care in NY, which will cover both the baby's care as well as your 3 year old's tuition (up until age 5).
Ask your toddler's school if they have anyone on staff to help you with the application process.
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