Vent!! So upset... Just had my 2nd car accident!!

freshair

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 7:23 am

I was about to come out of my driveway and someone on high speed didn't see me and knocked my bumper off. Cop said it's my fault and also have me a ticket (first one). I'm 3 weeks after having a beautiful baby and just so frustrated with myself!! (Mind you, I was leaving my house to go to my mother with my kids on the car) please share your stories to calm me down!

Violet123

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 7:35 am

I recently had 2 such incidents. One involving my son driving my car which is totalled and another one which I absentmindedly made a left turn in a mall parking lot and crashed into another car. Believe me when I say I don't have financial means to take care of this but I just keep saying to myself no one got hurt. No one needed an ambulance. It's only money we are dealing with. There are so many situations people are in. I'm just thankful it's only money. And I also think that something much worse could have happen and this was instead.

Last edited by Violet123 on Fri, Apr 27 2018, 12:13 am; edited 1 time in total

notshanarishona

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 1:40 pm

Personally I think a ticket should be used where something is done intentionally. Someone who already has damage to her car is already paying for her mistake by paying for her car and the other person's car. A ticket is like adding insult to injury especially when it's not a black and white.
I think someone who is texting , speeding, etc. while getting to an accident should get but not just when you didn't notice or thought you had right of way. JMO

OOTBubby

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 1:49 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Sorry, but that is not what the law says.

shoshanim999

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 1:56 pm

Mazal tov on your baby!!! This is human nature at its finest right here. The law is so clearly on the other drivers side. You say 2 things that make me wonder....you say the other driver was speeding. How do you really know the speed of the other driver? You were admittedly backing out of a driveway with very little peripheral vision. You likely only saw the other car an instant before the collision. From that 1 fraction if a second looking over your shoulder you can tell the other guy was speeding? Unlikely. Also, you say you were only sticking out "a little bit". Huh? Did that other driver come into your driveway and cause an accident or did you back out into the street? Sorry for giving you a hard time. It bothers me that people don't like owning up to mistakes they make.

dancingqueen

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 2:32 pm

OOTBubby wrote:

I'm sorry this happened to you, but why is it "unfair" to get a ticket? You broke the law by not yielding the right of way, so you get a ticket. You can be upset, but saying unfair is really not right.

Sorry op but the person going straight has the right of way, it's your responsibility to yield.
It can be tough to drive this early pp when your tired and overwhelmed. Can you stay in a bit more and have your mom come to you next time?

momX4

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 3:34 pm

My sister went to fast and couldnt stop at the stop sign. She swerved and hit a tree totalling her car. The cop followed the ambulance to the hospital to hand her the ticket. She felt like that was insensitive. They should have mailed it.

When my car was rear ended twice while stopped at a red light, no ticket was given to the car behind me. One time they caused alot of damage and my dh missed work due to severe back pain. Their insurance did cover it.

seeker

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 3:50 pm

staystrong wrote:

I agree with that. I'm so upset more about the ticket than the actual accident. I was surprised that I got into one. I wasn't even sticking out so much. It is what Hashem wanted. But the ticket is such a frustration for me. My husband was amazing. He took it so well.

This is pretty much the key to all frustration, you start to take things personally. Same way the accident is what Hashem wanted, so was the ticket. If the speeding car was from Hashem, then the ticketing traffic officer was from Hashem.

If you had difficulty with believing things come from Hashem then the whole discussion would be different... but since you've already noticed that realizing it comes from Hashem removes the anger, you're already most of the way there. All you need now is to stretch that to include the ticket.

WhatFor

Fri, Feb 24 2017, 3:59 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

The idea behind ticketing is to dissuade someone from violating regulations designed to protect people.

If the notion of car damage or worse was enough to dissuade people, we wouldn't need the regulations in the first place. Obviously, everyone violating driving regulations assumes that they'll get out unscathed. We know that a certain percentage of them will be wrong, which is why we have traffic cops issuing tickets. We don't want to wait until the damage is done to assess the consequences.

I'm not sure where you or the OP lives, but where I'm from, it is black and white that someone pulling out of a parked spot or a driveway must yield to the drivers already on the road. This also makes sense logically: if drivers were expected to yield to people pulling out of driveways, they would have to drive painstakingly slow in residential neighborhoods so that they could assess the situation with every driveway or parked car they passed.

As to your "intentionally" point, the only relevant intention is whether the driver intended to get behind the wheel and drive. She is responsible for knowing the basic rules of the road beyond that. Obviously almost no one intends to get into a car accident - that's why they're called accidents- but the regulations are there to protect people from accidents.

OP- I'm sorry about the accident, and especially happening when you're only a few weeks post partum. I hope you feel better soon and am happy that everyone in the situation was physically okay.