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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
For those who make their daughter wear tights after age 3
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 11:16 am
octopus wrote:
I'm not reading through this entire thread, and I only read the above post. I don't put tights on my three year olds and I don't even wear tights all the time. I would like to comment on the aspect of hilchos yichud. I strongly feel that hilchos yichud are in place as a protection for women and girls. It is not to protect the poor, poor men that may have a difficult time. With all the molestation stories that go around, I really think this is about protecting those from sicko ppl.


If so, why is there no issue for girls under three? According to halacha, girls under 3 don't need protection but 3 year olds do?

And do we develop halacha according to what sick pple may possibly do? We do not.
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tryinghard




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:16 pm
marina wrote:
Women and girls go swimming together in bathing suits. No tznius issue there.



Tznius has a lot to do with being appropriate for the occasion - so yes, you can go swimming in your bathing suit, but I doubt you would strip down to your bikini at a women's-only concert...
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 2:33 pm
Squishy, your posts contain lashon hara, motzei shem ra, and rechilus.
But, perhaps God will give you a pass because you cloak your family in holy tights.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 5:04 pm
amother wrote:
Squishy, your posts contain lashon hara, motzei shem ra, and rechilus.
But, perhaps God will give you a pass because you cloak your family in holy tights.


And your post is any better, embarrassing someone in public is even worse. Plus you did it under the cloak of amother. If you are brave enough to give someone mussar at least use your username.
I"m impressed she is able to use her name with what she posts as controversial as it is.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 5:21 pm
marina wrote:
If so, why is there no issue for girls under three? According to halacha, girls under 3 don't need protection but 3 year olds do?

And do we develop halacha according to what sick pple may possibly do? We do not.


How common is s-xual abuse of toddlers and babies? I'm assuming the rabbanim who established the halochos of yichud could not fathom this happening at all.

Indeed, from a website on s-xual abuse:

1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child s-xual abuse;
Self-report studies show that 20% of adult females and 5-10% of adult males recall a childhood s-xual assault or s-xual abuse incident;
During a one-year period in the U.S., 16% of youth ages 14 to 17 had been s-xually victimized;
Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youth ages 14 to 17 had been s-xually victimized;
Children are most vulnerable to CSA between the ages of 7 and 13.

No numbers here but I'm guessing it is relatively uncommon.

As to why we don't update halachos when new knowledge comes to lights, I don't know. But nothing stopping parents being careful with their young babies. In general parents keep a much closer watch over young children anyway - not like an older child who is far more likely to wander off on their own, go to school, etc.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 5:27 pm
sky wrote:
And your post is any better, embarrassing someone in public is even worse. Plus you did it under the cloak of amother. If you are brave enough to give someone mussar at least use your username.
I"m impressed she is able to use her name with what she posts as controversial as it is.
Applause Applause Applause agree 100%
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Sunny Days




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 7:36 pm
amother wrote:
I am having trouble with my daughter (age 4) wearing tights all the time as I did not grow up this way. We are yeshivish and my husband wants her to be used to it young and not have her struggle with it, but just accept that this is how it is. She hates hates hates tights and finds them very uncomfortable. I don't understand why she can't wear knee socks or leggings with socks. But he only wants tights. I personally have issues with wearing tights and prefer socks as the material drives me crazy.

For those of you whose daughters wear tights from when they are little, do you do this year round, in the summer time as well? Have your kids ever overheated/passed out from wearing tights in 100 degrees or hotter weather? Do you have any leniencies? Please share that they are ok so I won't be as nervous about hot weather and tights. I have crazy anxiety about the upcoming summer. Thank you.

Yes we do yr round. no. No one ever passed out. As a matter of fact my daughter was 21/2 this past summer and insisted on wearing tights... my girls also liked the cotton tights. I got a great price in old Navy and stocked up for the summer. I have never asked about leniences as it has never come up.
Good luck.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 8:45 pm
How did I embarrass someone in "public"?
She is "squishy" from imamother.

On the other hand, she smeared an entire school, by name, with terrible sheker. She embarrassed alumni,mothers of current students, and anyone else associated with that school.
Now go ask a shaila Squishy, about who has to ask mechila.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 9:55 pm
amother wrote:
How did I embarrass someone in "public"?
She is "squishy" from imamother.

On the other hand, she smeared an entire school, by name, with terrible sheker. She embarrassed alumni,mothers of current students, and anyone else associated with that school.
Now go ask a shaila Squishy, about who has to ask mechila.


Many people know who I am IRL. You hurt me, and I don't forgive you. But then perhaps you should ask a sheila. Also, ask Yael if there is a special exemption on for you to be an anonymous jerk. You violated the rules.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 11:03 pm
Uch oh... Pass the popcorn Argue
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 11:05 pm
Sounds like someone needs to get bounced for abusing Ima.
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 26 2017, 11:25 pm
Honestly, I think there are probably hurt feelings all around.

Maybe this thread should be locked before it spirals.

Mods, I'm reporting my own post.
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