Putting a child back to first grade adhd

amother

Cerise

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:38 am

My child has SPD undiagnosed ADHD balance issues, focusing issues and anxiety. He is in first grade and is falling behind in chumash. He hates school and it is a struggle every day to get him out. I broached the idea to him about repeating first grade. I explained that every year the work gets harder so maybe he wants an extra year where it is less hard. He said yes. It makes me so sad. He is a very bright kid though. Does it make sense to keep him back or not? Anyone have experience?

seeker

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:47 am

My general philosophy is that unless the child is in nursery and really just needs time to grow, holding back MUST come with other changes as well. Repeating the same thing that didn't work is extremely unlikely to work the second time. If he hates school then maybe a different teacher or school for next year (first grade if he's behind and it's not just the focusing etc) PLUS therapy for the anxiety and processing, and what's "undiagnosed ADHD?" (Anxiety and SPD can both mimic ADHD; in any case get a formal diagnosis so you have what to talk about.)

amother

Cerise

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:50 am

seeker wrote:

I can't figure out if the school is a bad fit or not. He is in the process of being evaluated. I am also considering home schooling him.

amother

Lemon

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 9:54 am

If a child has learning or other issues holding back wont necisarily help out.... holding back a child in my experience is done for maturaty. If child isnt at the same maturitly level as its grade mates and needs another year to grow into its self then holding back can do wonders for the child.
Sometimes its just a lack off maturity that his holding back the learning, then its also helpful to repeate the child.
Good luck

amother

Cerise

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:16 am

zigi wrote:

the issues will come up again if not addressed in first grade. speaking from experience.

Ok. Thank you all for your replies.

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:32 am

Here's the problem. A lot of kids with ADHD (or ASD or other similar issues) are very bright. There is often a gap between brains and maturity. If you hold back and the kid is learning all the same stuff they learned last year, they're going to be bored and boredom does not do wonders for behavior, to say the least. What you need is a plan for support whatever you decide. Can the school work with you on that count? Honestly doesn't sound like it.

zigi

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 10:36 am

I had to switch my son's school, he repeated first grade, he liked the change of school. it was pretty easy for him, bh he started English so at least that was a new subject for him, it took a while for him to get services, only last year. whatever, but bh the school had other things that helped, and the school is really understanding, they work with a child, I know that he would have been kicked out if he was somewhere else.

imasinger

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:02 am

I also put a repeat year with a change of school for my DS with ADHD. He repeated kindergarten. He is now 22, and doesn't remember or care.

Kids with ADHD often have social and maturity issues, so being in a class that might be chronologically younger, but is developmentally closer is often a very good idea.

Last edited by imasinger on Thu, Mar 09 2017, 12:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

mha3484

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:11 am

It also depends on the age of the child. My son is the oldest in his class. If he repeated K he would turn 7 while the other kids all turned 6. He is smart enough to know he is the oldest by a lot. He gets a lot of help so we can keep him with his same aged peers.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:23 am

I live in monsey and we fit into basically any school besides for hard core chassidish, where they don't allow woman to drive. We are yeshivish/chassidish. Is there a school that would work with us that is worth it to switch to.

zigi

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 11:25 am

age wasn't an issue so much he is in 6th grade. he is number5 getting bar mitzvahed this year. when he was younger he was one of 2 or 3 older kids. spring birthday. then a lot of new kids came to his class and brought the age up