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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Papaya
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 Fri, Mar 10 2017, 1:15 am
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Just curious, if you are a local Bubby, do you offer to help your married daughters and daughters in law with the children? Do you wait for them to ask for help? Do you enjoy/dislike pitching in to help with childcare? Are you very hands-on? I am trying to figure out how to approach this with my mother in law. I know she would never refuse if I asked straight out for help, but kind of want to hear honest answers from a bubby's perspective so that I can figure out a good balance.
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MagentaYenta
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Fri, Mar 10 2017, 1:26 am
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I'm not a baby sitting bubby. Certainly if there were an emergency I'm sure I'd get a call, but my kids know I no longer do babysitting.
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amother
Beige
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Fri, Mar 10 2017, 1:28 am
It's different for everyone, of course.
I work from home and am flexible, so I'm always there in case of emergency, and I always say yes to babysitting when the kids ask. (Overnights included.) I don't have a regular babysitting assignment. I don't want one, honestly. Also, I've got aging parents and in-laws who have needs of their own. Not to mention kids still at home and a husband.
I spent many years raising kids, and now I'm still meeting the needs of others, but I know enough to take care of myself. There are some bubbies who are more available, some less. It's not a measure of how much they love their kids.
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cm
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Fri, Mar 10 2017, 5:47 am
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I'm not a MIL but I'll share my experience...My mother offered to drop everything to babysit or do carpool, and voluntarily scheduled regular hands-on time with her grandchildren when they were little. My MIL made it clear that she raised her children already and was done. To get the "balance" you will need to find out your MIL's preference, not everyone else's.
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