Purim-A Day Without Women

amother

cornflower

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 2:32 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Yeah, and when we were single we used to stay in shul the whole day each of they yamim noraim too. It's a major paradigm shift, and my feeling was, if I can at least telegraph some simchas hachayim and simchas hayom to the kids amidst the bedlam, the rest was gravy.

And it would probably be facile for me to quote the epigram Schvester Selma had in her room, from the Indian poet Tagore:
https://www.brainyquote.com/qu......html

But at this point in life, it's not the midrash that's the ikar, it's the maaseh. If joy seems unattainable, focus on one thing. Maybe gratitude. Your day will be full of meaningful actions, as frazzled as you may be. Daven informally and meaningfully to be yotze. Let your actions be your tefilla, and try if you can, for your tefillos to be one of gratitude, that you have the health and kochos to do everything you're trying to cram in to the day, that you have the family and the people in your lives to overwhelm you these 24 hours.

And if you get into the gratitude groove, do NOT let it segue into the guilt groove. That's the yetzer hara finding an easy way to bring you down.

Trying to put myself back in your shoes, all those years ago, my goals for the day would be
1. Not to feel guilty about anything
2. To be grateful
3. To only eat things that will bring me joy

Hatzlacha and please be mochel me if this is exactly what you didn't need to hear.

It was great. Thank you.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 2:36 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, so in their noble quest for feminism, all these women aren't even yotzei this mitzva.

Noble quest for feminism????

In the story Esther saves her people, but it's a noble feminist quest for a woman to chant the story of her doing so? No it's just observing the holiday in a different way than you do.

zaq

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 3:39 pm

amother wrote:

My DD and her friends had the brilliant idea to go to the houses of Jewish women who are shut-ins and cannot make it to megilla reading and lein megilla for them. Our Rav has a list of people who can't make it out to hear megilla and he can't always find enough people to visit all of them.

So when these girls told him their idea he was thrilled and helped them find enough megillot for them to use.

This is not "feminist", whatever you take that to mean. This is the Jewish community using all its resources so more people can be yotze this mitzvah.

I feel so proud of my DD and her friends.

And rightly so. May they go michayil el chayil.

tichellady

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 5:15 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, so in their noble quest for feminism, all these women aren't even yotzei this mitzva.

It's not halakhically controversial at all for a woman to lein megilat Esther for other women. People have political/social reasons why they don't like it but it's not a halakhic issue. You don't have to do it, but bashing Jewish women who enjoy being involved in the mitzvot of the day is certainly not in the spirit of this holiday.

amother

Jade

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 8:06 pm

amother wrote:

How do you all get to that point when you truly enjoy the day? I am dreading it and I hate that I'm dreading it. Still haven't done MM, no patience for Megillah, costumes messed up and now I have to fix it, house is a mess post shabbos, I'm just so tired and see no joy to in this day, only lots of work. I hate my attitude but I am so tired. When I was single, I used to finish Seder tehillim, visit friends, but now I don't have any time to daven at all and everyone is in a rush delivery MM and making it to their seudah.

The only way I can enjoy the day is if I plan in a advance, way in advance. Costumes in Oct, MM made 3 weeks prior. That way I can handle megillah and the post shabbos mess. BH I really enjoy purim.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 11:22 pm

amother wrote:

You can be yotzei someone with a beracha, not with leining. This site is getting more and more conservadox-leaning.

We are yeshivish and my DH learns in kollel (and has been for the past 16+ years). A woman can 100% lein Megillas Esther and be motzei anyone else. Do not confuse hearing the leining of Megillas Esther with other forms of leining.