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Moving dilemma!



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amother
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Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 10:00 am
We have outgrown our 2 bed apartment and need to look for something bigger.

A suitable apartment has become available. It's not perfect but we will probably not find anything better within budget (and this has many extra features in comparison with other apartments we've found for a similar price.)

I have been unhappy in this country/ community for a while now but moving would involve my husband finding a job in the place I would rather live (close to my family.) He agrees that there would be many advantages to moving and that things are not going well here for me. So far, he has not applied for any new jobs. Jobs in his field do come up from time to time but it's quite sporadic, especially with the kind of salary he is asking for.

We have considered selling our current apartment and renting a larger one, but this is an expensive option. The cost of moving (legal/ real estate fees) would not make it worthwhile if it was just for a short term.

I want to move back near my family, but there is no guarantee a job will become available.
If we're going to stay here anyway, I think this house is a good option for us and I don't want to miss out on it.

Help me with some different perspectives on the dilemma!
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 10:04 am
Is this dwelling to rent or buy?
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amother
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Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 10:06 am
Squishy wrote:
Is this dwelling to rent or buy?


To buy.
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groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 11:11 am
I wouldn't do it. No apartment/house is perfect if you're not sure you can pay for it.

I know how hard it is to have to turn something down when it's right for your needs at the right price, but with no job prospects at all? Huge risk.
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amother
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Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 12:11 pm
I'm sorry, I have just read back my OP and realise I have not been clear at all.

The apartment is in our current location, just down the road from where we currently live. My husband has a secure job here and we have the finances in place to buy the new apartment should we decide to.

My dilemma is that I have been unhappy in this country/ community for a few years now. Buying another house here would obviously be a huge commitment.

DH is not against moving to where I'm originally from, but it depends on him getting a job there. So far, he has not found anything suitable.

In the mean time, we can't go on living in our current small apartment, we need a bigger place.

So, the dilemma is do we stay here in this country/ community where DH has a secure job and put in an offer on this apartment we've seen, or pass on it and hope a job comes up for my husband in a place which we (mainly I) would be happier living?
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 12:53 pm
how actively is your husband looking for a job where you want to move?
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amother
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Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 1:16 pm
amother wrote:
how actively is your husband looking for a job where you want to move?


Pretty actively. He is basically searching on the internet for jobs in his field in the area we are targeting and gets email updates from some recruitment agencies when vacancies in his field arise.

He searches a couple of time a week at least.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 1:25 pm
can he make any personal connections- often it helps to have "connections". can anyone in the community help you?
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 14 2017, 1:32 pm
Buying, (and this is a huge generalisation I realise), didn't normally mange sense if you anticipate being in the dwelling less than 5 years.

So, if you think you'll move country before then, don't bother and make do. If you'll probably be where you are in five years time, buy now
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amother
White


 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 4:10 am
simcha2 wrote:
Buying, (and this is a huge generalisation I realise), didn't normally mange sense if you anticipate being in the dwelling less than 5 years.

So, if you think you'll move country before then, don't bother and make do. If you'll probably be where you are in five years time, buy now


Yes, I think that's true about buying, so if we buy we'll basically be chained to this community for 5 years or more. My kids will grow up here, I'll have no family support and will have to deal with many of the problems I have been having here.

BUT, what if my DH never finds a job?

We really can't make do in our current house. We outgrew it 2 kids ago, it's constantly in a mess because we haven't got enough storage, our dining room is barely big enough for our whole family, let alone guests. Consequently we can't invite anyone and no one invites us. I am completely socially isolated. The new house is big, plenty of room for guests, but other problems of living in this community would remain.
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 8:07 am
I am not minimising your pain. But if you would like to brainstorm the problems in your current community maybe someone can offer some insight.

I live in a different country to all my family and dh is bt so every time we move anywhere we never know anyone. There is none of the Jewish geography of "we went to camp together" or my sister is best friends with your sister" stuff. So we have always had to work hard to find our place. BH we have made good friends and been very happy (after some time) in each of the communities we have lived in.
Maybe we can help you be more comfortable where you are.

If you find the above invalidating just ignore me.
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shaimac1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 20 2017, 12:22 pm
amother wrote:
Pretty actively. He is basically searching on the internet for jobs in his field in the area we are targeting and gets email updates from some recruitment agencies when vacancies in his field arise.

He searches a couple of time a week at least.


As someone that works for a community assisting families with finding employment so they can relocate to our area I know that what he is doing is good but there is much more that can be done! If you would like my assistance in any way (not that you can or would move to my community) I would be happy to assist. Feel free to PM me on this site and we can go from there!

Good luck and I totally understand your pain we have moved a lot ourselves and finally found a community we really love!
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