Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Reading Room
Mishpacha lifelines story - happiest man alive



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Seagreen


 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 5:04 pm
Does anyone still have this article? It's issue 649 , feb 22
I just read the letters to the editor on this article and it sounds like I have a very similar story. If anyone has it and can post it, would be greatly appreciated.
Back to top

amother
Navy


 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 9:45 pm
whats it about?
Back to top

amother
Seagreen


 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 9:54 pm
here was nothing unusual about my shidduch. At least I thought so when I got engaged.

I was a regular chassidish bochur, Rivky was a regular chassidishe girl. I was 19, she was 18. We had two beshows, and drank l’chayim immediately after the second.

The first sign I had that something was wrong was when my mother told me that my kallah had gone to live with her brother and sister-in-law. My parents found this strange, and they began making some subtle inquiries.

Two months before our wedding, I got a call from a woman who introduced herself as a therapist. “I’m seeing your kallah,” she explained, “and I think it would be beneficial that we meet.”

Completely bewildered, I called my parents and asked them what was going on. “Apparently there are some issues in your kallah’s family,” my father told me. “We didn’t know any of this before you got engaged, but we think it’s a good idea for you to talk to this therapist.”

I didn’t realize, at the time, how concerned my parents actually were. I was on a high from being a chassan, and nothing had the power to burst my bubble.

When I met with Rivky’s therapist, she gave me a whole shpiel about how a person has to be warm and accepting in marriage. “Not everyone receives acceptance and love as a child,” she explained. Then, she quickly added, “I’m not saying this specifically about your kallah, it’s just important that you know how to be loving and sensitive to a wife’s needs.”

Ohhh-kay, I though. This is weird.

That was about all the thought I gave to it at that point.

The problems started immediately after the wedding. During sheva brachos, Rivky did not eat or sleep, to the extent that on the third day of sheva brachos, she fainted. Hatzolah had to come down and work on her for two hours.

After sheva brachos, her eating and sleeping schedules stabilized, but her behavior was bewildering. She refused to go out to either set of parents for supper or for Shabbos, and on the rare occasions when she agreed to visit my parents, she wouldn’t sit down, she wouldn’t eat, and she wouldn’t talk. She just stood in a corner mutely.

If I bought Rivky flowers or gifts, she would stare at me coldly, not even uttering a thank you. She was constantly complaining about having to cook and clean and wash the dishes — even though she had nothing else to do. She did actually take care of the cooking, laundry, and housework, but the amount of kvetching along the way was totally out of proportion. If she needed to go to the doctor, she would tell me to make the appointment. If we were out of milk, she would look at me wide-eyed, like a little kid, as though she had no clue how to get more milk. If I showed her any affection, she would start to shiver and cry. I was
baffled
.

I copied this from the mishpacha website but I cant get the rest of the story. I was had a sort of a breakdown after I got married and would cry after and shiver when getting affection. very curious to know how this husband dealt with all this.
Back to top

ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 9:57 pm
I'm curious too. I already feel bad for the choosing.
Back to top

amother
Magenta


 

Post Wed, Mar 15 2017, 10:11 pm
In a nutshell, the husband was trying to get her help and she ran from pain. He lived through hell. His parents, professionals, and I think even the Ruv told him to divorce. He made up his mind that divorce was not an option. They reached out to one of her teachers and she guided them and helped her. He claims he is happily married now.

IMHO, no spouse has to go through such hell to make it work. The healthy spouse could lose their own sense of self and sanity. This article is more of an exception than the rule and I don't think it was fair. Besides, I am not sure how a teacher was able to help from such severe trauma.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Reading Room

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Mishpacha Double Take
by amother
58 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 5:37 pm View last post
Imperfect megillah reading...by a MAN
by amother
36 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 10:24 am View last post
New to Mishpacha, catch me up
by amother
94 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:56 pm View last post
Cookie corner hamantash recipe, mishpacha jr
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 19 2024, 7:12 pm View last post
ISO purim story 6 Tue, Mar 19 2024, 6:44 pm View last post
by GLUE