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Isnt it expensive to have guests?
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 10:25 am
I would love to invite friends / family for shabbos but it is so expensive!
how does everyone do it?
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 10:36 am
There is no magic answer. People have different budgets and different priorities. Often if you host, you will be invited to them, so then you will have a meal you don't have to pay for, but you can't count on that. If money is very tight people probably don't host as much. In my community many people will do a potluck- so they will ask each guest to bring one or two things so it's less of a burden on the host.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 11:38 am
Entertaining people is an extra expense - no doubt.

However, in some ways it is time versus money as "plain" food will generally be more expensive per serving versus making imaginative dishes that are delicious but use less of expensive ingredients. If you are willing to bake, it really makes things less expensive. You can bake a simple Bundt cake which freezes well and I am always shocked at how costly it is to purchase good bakery products.

Soup is relatively inexpensive and in general you can pick some kind of main dish that isn't simply roasting a chicken or slab of meat - brings down the cost and guests won't think you are cheaping out if the entree is delicious even if the cost per serving is less than serving plain meat.

Is the cost of wine an issue? That can indeed be a big expense especially if guests don't bring along a bottle or so as a hostess gift.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 11:46 am
Yes, it's a small fortune. Many people are good about entertaining and keeping it low budget but I am not. I could have a lot of extras in my life if I would stop having guests. But I feel the value of the atmosphere that's created by opening my home constantly far exceeds a European vacation or a new piece of jewelry. That said, needing to serve expensive, excellent food is my own mishugas. I am always glad for an invitation to come to someone's house and if they serve me the plainest, simplest food I could care less. I go for the company, not the food.
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 12:23 pm
Sure, it costs money, but so does every other mitzvah - tefillin, esrog, matzah, etc. - it's all part of being a Jew!
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 12:39 pm
Don't buy anything store brought and it isn't so expensive.
I make an easy olive dip, jalapeno dip, and Challah myself. That part Costs maybe$10 total per meal.
Serve gefilte fish on a platter with chrein. Krm gefilte 3.99 a loaf. I make one loaf, it never gets finished.
Chop chop a cabbage for salad. Doesn't need checking just peel off leaves until interlocking
Cholent or soup costs negligibly more to add an onion or potato.
Duncan Hines cake for dessert
Easy and not expensive
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 12:41 pm
ectomorph wrote:
Don't buy anything store brought and it isn't so expensive.
I make an easy olive dip, jalapeno dip, and Challah myself. That part Costs maybe$10 total per meal.
Serve gefilte fish on a platter with chrein. Krm gefilte 3.99 a loaf. I make one loaf, it never gets finished.
Chop chop a cabbage for salad. Doesn't need checking just peel off leaves until interlocking
Cholent or soup costs negligibly more to add an onion or potato.
Duncan Hines cake for dessert
Easy and not expensive

This all comes to about $40 a meal and feeds 10 people
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 12:42 pm
I never serve wine only grape juice... Don't want to make expecting guests feel awkward. My husband gives out scotch sometimes.
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Seas




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 12:42 pm
We have guests almost every Shabbos, often for both seudos. Generally as far as extra expense it's just one more adult portion per guest, which in turn isn't usually that much.

Food's bh tasty and nice every week, albeit in no way OTT.

The only real added cost is the alcohol, which can really flow with most of DH's guests - but that's his concern. At times, when money was tight, he bought cheap alcohol.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 1:06 pm
What do you call "inviting for Shabbos"? One or two friends a few times a year for Shabbos lunch isn't the same as twenty people every week for the whole Shabbos. And a big cholent that is mostly beans and potatoes studded with pupiks or chicken wings is very different from a 13-ounce steak per person.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 2:08 pm
It's ok not to have guests if you can't afford it. We were once guests and the host couple mentioned how much they spend on shabbos food, that it was a big chunk of their weekly budget, and we felt so uncomfortable, we could barely eat the food. All they served was cholent and cake, and if we would hav eknown, that they didn't have money, we wouldn't have gone. We were hungry the rest of the shabbos because we were in a different city and didn't think to bring food with us. No one is expecting you to have guests if you can't. Iy"H Hashem should provide you and everyone else who needs with excellent parnassah.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 2:15 pm
Yes it is. If money is tight we don't have company.
We don't eat much and having company means serving two sides and chicken or something with the chulent which we never have.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 2:39 pm
amother wrote:
It's ok not to have guests if you can't afford it. We were once guests and the host couple mentioned how much they spend on shabbos food, that it was a big chunk of their weekly budget, and we felt so uncomfortable, we could barely eat the food. All they served was cholent and cake, and if we would hav eknown, that they didn't have money, we wouldn't have gone. We were hungry the rest of the shabbos because we were in a different city and didn't think to bring food with us. No one is expecting you to have guests if you can't. Iy"H Hashem should provide you and everyone else who needs with excellent parnassah.


They should never have done that. Its not appropriate to discuss how much you spent on the meal, and not appropriate to make guests feel uncomfortable. If you cannot afford to have guests, then you shouldn't.

But as others said, it doesn't have to cost a fortune to host. Salads and dips can be made relatively inexpensively to serve as appetizers. Cucumber salad, quinoa salad, jalapeno dip, things like that. Cholent can be stretched with additional dried beans (cheap), barley (cheap) and potatoes (cheap). Chicken salad or chicken fried rice made with chicken from soup, or chicken purchased on sale ($1.99/pound per random circular I just checked). And kids get kid food.

But if you're not in a position to host, for whatever reason, and do accept invitations, you do need to do something for your regular hosts. Bake challah and bring it to them, even on a week you're not invited. Invite them for coffee. Anything to show appreciation. (And whatever you do, don't tell people you can't afford to host, beg for invitations, then post weekly photos of your family at restaurants and places with expensive admission fees; it irks people.)
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 2:46 pm
I am not in a position to host so when a friend has a meal I will offer to make a large portion of it. I have one friend who enjoys hosting on purim. Most years I brought both a main and a side. I have found that at the life stage I an at, I prefer to eat at home and then take my kids to the park and socialize there. It makes me much less stressed out.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Fri, Mar 24 2017, 3:42 pm
ectomorph wrote:
Don't buy anything store brought and it isn't so expensive.
I make an easy olive dip, jalapeno dip, and Challah myself. That part Costs maybe$10 total per meal.
Serve gefilte fish on a platter with chrein. Krm gefilte 3.99 a loaf. I make one loaf, it never gets finished.
Chop chop a cabbage for salad. Doesn't need checking just peel off leaves until interlocking
Cholent or soup costs negligibly more to add an onion or potato.
Duncan Hines cake for dessert
Easy and not expensive


This isn't enough food for guests sorry.
Most people don't like gefilte fish. Especially 3.99 rolls that are mostly flour and hardly any fish.
What about chicken/meat?
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Sat, Mar 25 2017, 2:53 pm
I host a lot. I bake my own cakes and challah and make my own salad dressings. We have vegetables and rice and potatoes as sides. We do like cholent with meat and kishka, but it's mostly beans, barley and potatoes. So the only big expense is the meat and/or chicken. If you stay away from prepared foods, it doesn't add up.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Sat, Mar 25 2017, 4:06 pm
if money is tight we dont buy and make from scratch.

baking regular challa at home is not expencive (I can make 4 loafs for about 1 euro)

chicken soup from bones and veggies on sale costs 2 euro per huge pot here. comes out delicious, almost everyone wants a second serving.

I make lokshen or mazzah balls very somple...yumm

instead of salmon or ready made gefilte fish I might make a dip from sardines with olives etc and tuna patties in sweet sour sauce...very cheap ingredients and it can serve many people. especially if served on a nice serving tray with herbs or red bellpeppers it is really nice.

eggs with chives--- very low cost

dips from whatever veggies are on sale or in season (avocado, olives, tomatoes + garlic...)

kugel is basically potatoes and oil- if some yummy veggy is on sale ill make a second layer (even cheap frosen spinach can make a deliious second layer and the kugel suddeinly looks very sophisiticated).

meat costs a fortune, so I try to minimise, but you can stretch incredibly well in tchulent or when making dishes with sauce.

desert is lemon sorbet (lemons sugar water--cheap) or simple cake with frosting, just add coffee OR orangejuice to the dough and frosting tastes delicious and is a nice twist.

obviously the food costs! but if oyu keep the ingredienst simple and cheal you can make something special out of everything. store bought dips, salads, fish, pastries are VERY expencive.

my way I can feed 15 guests on a relatively small budget.

but budget is very relative and so depends on everyones individual financial situation.

when money was tight and our rfiends new, they would invite us back and they also contributed to the meal. its the company that make sthe atmosphere special not the gourmet food imho.

so do what works for you.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 25 2017, 6:45 pm
Meat is often cheaper than chicken when you're cooking for a large crowd.
Stretch it by having lots of sides. Confetti rice, a potato dish, roasted vegetables made from the discounted rack and back of your fridge.
Shop sales.
Price each dish to figure out how much hosting actually costs you.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 25 2017, 9:25 pm
amother wrote:
This isn't enough food for guests sorry.
Most people don't like gefilte fish. Especially 3.99 rolls that are mostly flour and hardly any fish.
What about chicken/meat?

Really? My guests seem happy and come back.

What do you think needs to be added?
Friday night is chicken soup and a whole chicken.
Shabbos day is cholent and the same.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 25 2017, 9:26 pm
If I have the same guests for both, I'll make a different chicken dish.
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