Kids become hostile and hutzpadik as they grow older, Why?

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amother

Blush

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:04 pm

my girls go to BYBP. when they first started school as early as nursery/pre 1A, the teachers always complimented me and asked my advice on how I raise my kids do be so kind, cautious, considered, and appreciative. as they have grown older now in much higher elementary grades they have become more hostile towards each other and now even me. if I try to stop their arguments or fights they turn to me and say bad things to me as well. are there other BYBP parents who feel the girls have learned hate and hutpah in school or is it from other sources which I don't see. please give me your input especially if you or your kids have attended BYBP in Brooklyn. thankyou.

yksraya

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:09 pm

It's very common for preteens/teens, especially in today's generation. Hang in there, this too shall pass!!!

amother

Natural

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:33 pm

This happens regardless of which school you send your daughters too. Adolescents (and pre-teens) are trying to figure out the world and their place in it, dealing with overactive hormones, and feel frustrated when their autonomy is challenged.

There was an awesome thread recently on how to respond to teenagers when they act like this.

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....ight=

amother

Salmon

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:35 pm

It's called growing up. Children need to separate from their parents and establish their own identities.

Don't focus on chutzpah, focus on what the child is trying to say. It's not about you.

yksraya

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:42 pm

I ignore the chutzpah completely. If you give them attention for it, it becomes a power struggle. I try to compliment them for positive behavior, but no reactions to the chutzpah.

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 12:38 am

I think it's the age. Kids are constantly testing their boundaries and of course as they get older, hormones don't help. I have a son age 8, almost 9 years. He really is an absolute sweetheart with such a good heart, but definitely has much more of an attitude lately and talking back rudely way more often.

I'm just strict about it. I don't put up with any rude talking & disrespectful behavior. When he starts up it's an immediate warning and if it keeps up an immediate timeout and sometimes loss of certain privileges. And for the occasional days when he's really acting out, he gets to do extra chores like scrubbing walls or the toilet! Usually a timeout or losing a certain privilege is enough to stop the behavior.

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