Are 3 year olds supposed to cause so much chaos?

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Mar 27 2017, 10:26 pm

My 3 1/2 yo DC is a bundle of non stop energy. At home DC will take markers, and color walls. When dc eats, food still falls and gets everywhere. DC is a stubborn mule and has to do everything his or her way. In school dc behaves like an angel and follows rules and directions, at home, DC needs to be watched all the time. DC will think nothing of climbing up counters to get something. No real sense of safety . When will this kid get more safety awareness, and behave? Do all kids do this at this age??

MagentaYenta

Mon, Mar 27 2017, 10:32 pm

amother wrote:

If you are lucky, sometime before the age of 30. Kids have energy, if you can't childproof an area gate it off. Don't let him have access to markers when he is unsupervised. Restrict eating to one area, the kitchen. Yes, it's exhausting, but he is curious and mobile, that's age appropriate behavior. These aren't difficult boundaries. He understands some boundaries already, that knowledge and experience from school is transferable to home.

seeker

Tue, Mar 28 2017, 1:53 am

If he's behaving better at school, odds are he will do better with a different type of structure than you're currently using at home. This can be very hard to adapt but if it's what your kid needs, you'll figure it out. If not perfectly, then at least enough to make some improvement - every bit of order helps.

I'd say the age-appropriateness of what you're describing is kind of borderline, and again it doesn't help that we don't really know how you run your home in the first place. It's not the kind of behavior that makes me say "oh yeah totally expected" and also not "wow sounds like your 3-year-old has an issue." It's something to keep an eye on, try some more strategic parenting, and maybe see whether a professional who meets your child in person thinks they need extra help. The safety awareness and messy eating in particular are things that I would watch to see if they persist or if they are to a worrisome degree - those are the kinds of things that are reasonable at this age but only to a point (gets food on floor and clothes - normal. Enjoys making a mess - sensory/behavioral but probably within normal range. Gets food everywhere and doesn't even seem to be aware of it, does not effectively get food to mouth, never or barely uses utensils effectively despite being taught and prompted - not so appropriate). Coloring on walls and climbing to get what they want is totally normal.

nw11

Tue, Mar 28 2017, 3:38 am

Sounds like my kid! My Dr told me we would see a big improvement around the age of 4. He is now 4 1/2, and boy, was the Dr right! He still needs lots of tactile experience, I let him play a lot in the sand pit and when the weather's lousy I give him playdo or cookie dough, shaving foam etc.

amother

Navy

Tue, Mar 28 2017, 10:02 pm

OP, your post sounds extreamly normal compared to my three boys aged 6 and under. They wash themselves with toilet cleaner, smear marshmallow fluff in their hair, try to get on top of the fridge, open the windows and try to climb out to a ramp on the other side. All my kids are sensory, so it could be that. My oldest has a history of abuse, so he has a lot of behavior issues and teaches stuff to the younger kids Sad

. But even though my kids might be a little out of range of normal, your's really sound within the range of curious, healthy, learning children. Children learn through touch and movement, and they aren't doing it to make you mad, rather because they are learning something from it. Granted, they have to respect safety and a reasonable amount of caring about their environment, but they need to be given space to be kids.

tweety1

Wed, Mar 29 2017, 12:26 am

amother wrote:

Sounds just like my 3yo DD! Colors on the walls, makes messes, plays with the bathroom sink and pours water all over...
She's definitely sensory but it's still within normal range.

This! My son too. And if he gangs up together with his younger brotber?!?! Boy am I in trouble! It never dawned on me that it might be a problem ( maybe I'm the problem). I find it if I may say adorable to see how creative these little guys can sometimes be. Oh well some lunatic mother here