Yichud? | Imamother

amother

Plum

Tue, Mar 28 2017, 7:03 pm

My husband is home now. But while sitting here this evening, the question of yichud arose in my mind. My husband was at shul. My kids are asleep. My in laws are here (mother in law not jewish. She had a conservative conversion) is it yichud? Door was unlocked I believe. There wouldn't be an issue with a married jewish couple if I remember correctly. But with her status I wonder...thoughts?

I know, ask a rav!

yksraya

Tue, Mar 28 2017, 7:06 pm

If you are home, how is it yichud?

Also, if you aren't home but in same town it would not be yichud either way.

If your kids are home it's not yichud.

As for if his being alone with his mom who's not jewish is yichud, that I have no clue.

Edited bec just noticed "you" were the one with the prob with being alone with your FIL. Sorry, my preg brain read it wrong.If the shul your dh davens in is in same town, it's not yichud.

doctorima

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 12:25 pm

I don't think that ba'ala b'ir (husband in town) helps in a situation of libo gas bah (someone you know really well, e.g. FIL). There are other mitigating circumstances here, such as sleeping kids who could wake up any minute, unlocked door, the fact that FIL and MIL are civilly married. I don't know what this translates to for halacha l'maaseh, but definitely a good question for your LOR. Please let us know what he says.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 1:09 pm

Wow that's an interesting question! That's amazing that you even thought of it. It probably is yichud if you don't have a son 9+ or a daughter that is 3+ that are up and awake. But then again you have to ask a rav.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 1:10 pm

MommyM wrote:

If your husband was in town, it's not yichud.

Balah bair doesn't help if you are locked in an office with a boss.

penguin

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 1:35 pm

I'm under the impression sleeping kids can help if over a certain age, but you need more of them then you would if they were awake (I guess probability of at least one waking up). By all means AYLOR.

amother

Magenta

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 3:13 pm

You seem very intelligent.
I'm proud to part of such an insightful nation.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jan 09 2020, 12:56 pm; edited 1 time in total

yksraya

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 5:21 pm

amother wrote:

Balah bair doesn't help if you are locked in an office with a boss.

Huh? But she wasn't locked in any office! She was at home, unlocked door, kids home, tho they slept, and her mil was there too. Her dh was in town.

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 6:52 pm

I am SO confused. Who was the potential yichud problem between? Definitely not OP and her mother in law.

OP and father in law? I guess that would be it, by saying mother in law can't be a shomeres because she is not Jewish? Interesting question because it would probably still be a deterrent, but halachically not sure it is good enough.

Door being unlocked barely helps if no one would walk in. Husband could walk in, you could arrange with neighbors...
If kids age 6-7+ and 2 of them, that is good for night shomrim.

Definitely worth asking for the future.

MommyM

Sun, Apr 02 2017, 8:27 pm

amother wrote:

Balah bair doesn't help if you are locked in an office with a boss.

She wasn't locked in an office with a boss. She was sitting in an unlocked home, and even if it were locked, if her husband had the key with him, it would not be a problem.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 5:35 am

If your curtains are open, and someone could see in from the street, that counts towards not being yichud, as well. (If you're on the 10th floor, it doesn't count, obviously.)

I had a similar issue with my non Jewish ex. He would come over for visitation with our daughter, and we would be alone in the house (with DD.) I was told that in addition to keeping the door open a bit, I should have the extra stringency of keeping all the curtains open. This was in a street level house, not an apartment.

My current DH is not DD's father, and she is over bas mitzvah, so there's another issue. They never, ever touch. She spends most of her time in her room, and DH makes it a point to never set foot there. If he needs her attention, he will knock her door, and stay out in the hall. (It helps that she really doesn't like him, and he's not so crazy about her, either. Confused

)