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zz




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 2:00 pm
This is my issue..... Once the babysitter left this evening, I realized that while trying to open the window she broke the "trisim" (shutters?) by apparentely forcing on the window pane. I'm not an expert but it seems that it will need some professional fixing.

She is not my regular babysitter and is my nextdoor neighbours' daughter with whom we have a very good relationship .

So my question is, should I mention it to the parents? Pretend nothing happened?

Thank you for your advice!
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cindy324




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 2:04 pm
If you really are such good friends with the parents, then just forget it, especially if it's not a major expense to fix. I'm sure it was just an accident, and why rock the boat and maybe risk losing a babysitter.
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Bambamama




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 2:23 pm
Similar thing happened to us once with the trisim. We just didn't say anything to the person. When someone breaks something by accident in our home, we usually act like it's no big deal. It's annoying when it's something expensive to repair (or something that can't be repaired), but the person will probably be embarassed and it will definitely put some strain on the relationship, so it's not worth it. (The only case we would have the person pay is if it was a hired worker with whom we had no social relationship and he was negligent. Even when a cleaning lady breaks something, what can you do? Ask her to pay?)
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 2:41 pm
once when my son was like 4ish he told my sister to go home because she broke some crystal wine cups ...
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Mishie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 2:55 pm
One Erev Yom Kippur, my MIL had her cleaning lady working in the house pretty late in the day.
My MIL had prepared 2 gorgeous Pumpkin-Pies for dessert for Seudah HaMafseket.
WELL - whaddaya know.... the cleaning lady accidently dropped BOTH on the floor (face side down!!!!!!)
My MIL was pretty desperate for her to finish up with the cleaning and didn't wan't to tell her to leave until the house was done, so she basically just smiled and watched her hard work go down the drain....

What I'm trying to say is - maybe it's not worth giving up your relationship with this family if it's not a big deal to fix it.
How do you think they would react when you tell them?
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CAYA




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 3:04 pm
I'm sure this babysitter realized what she did and I bet she was afraid to tell you, rather wanted u to realize urself ,,,,,I'd not say anything to the parents, much safer that way!
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Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 3:50 pm
Not offering advice one way or the other, but just wanted to add - trissim break. Every homeowner will have to repair trissim at some point - and probably lots of times. My point is that a) she could have broken it without doing anything very wrong, and b) often they break from accummulated wear and tear, so what she did could have been just the straw that broke the camel's back.
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zz




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 3:59 pm
Dear All, I heard what you said and I think this will be what I'm going to do. It would be such a pity to strain such a relationship (I just hope it won't cost much...).

However, even though I can somehow understand the girl not mentioning anything, it still bugs me especially as she came in very late and showed the least motivation when she came... (and after an very hard day but well, that's not her fault!).

Oh well, maybe she'll mention it to her mother, who knows (- and I guess I'll just end up shooing it off), if not I'll check the matter out and will have the "pleasure" of announcing to DH when he comes from abroad Rolling Eyes

....Should these be our only worries!
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 4:16 pm
Ima'la wrote:
Not offering advice one way or the other, but just wanted to add - trissim break. Every homeowner will have to repair trissim at some point - and probably lots of times. My point is that a) she could have broken it without doing anything very wrong, and b) often they break from accummulated wear and tear, so what she did could have been just the straw that broke the camel's back.


still can't figure out what a trissim is ... but Ima'la hit it on the button ... very possible lots of things have wear and tear ... the nature of life ...

but if it's still going to bother you - just simply ask if she knows what happened and maybe you'll find out and clear the air ...
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Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 21 2007, 4:27 pm
green, in E"Y, it's standard to have trissim on windows. They are shutters that are built into the window frame and can be raised and lowered by a cord on the side of the window. (Not a perfectly accurate description, but the best I could do! Anyone feel like posting a picture?) Advantage: when they are closed, they completely keep the light out - you can make your bedroom feel like midnight at noon. Disadvantage - they frequently break, one way or another. Especially when exposed to children. Or anyone under the age of 120. Hope I explained it well - when you come visit, I'll give you a free demonstration Wink
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Bambamama




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 2:43 am
Ima'la wrote:
Not offering advice one way or the other, but just wanted to add - trissim break. Every homeowner will have to repair trissim at some point - and probably lots of times. My point is that a) she could have broken it without doing anything very wrong, and b) often they break from accummulated wear and tear, so what she did could have been just the straw that broke the camel's back.


Ima'la is right. Anything that involves wear and tear, you just can't be sure that it was the person's misuse that caused it to break. She should have told you about it if she noticed (makes her seem guilty), but what can you do.
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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 2:57 am



Trisim are whats covering the windows...
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zz




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 3:08 am
I know that trisim tear very easely, but this time it bothered me because the whole cord jumped (top and bottom), so I'm talking of about 24 panels to repair, hoping that the cord itself isn't damaged, oh well... I'll just let it go...
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BeershevaBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 4:47 am
Perhaps you can talk to the girl privately - tell her you understand that accidents happen, but in the future if something breaks while she's there, she needs to let you know about it.

I remember babysitting for a family and their bikes were stolen out of their garage while I was there and I didn't hear a thing! Even though it certainly wasn't my fault, I felt bad.
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 4:55 am
Before you say anything to her you should ask a rav, because I've a feeling that if she's in your house with your permission and something breaks in the course of normal usage - she didn't deliberately break them - she doesn't have to pay.

I'm not saying that we, if it were the other way around, shouldn't offer to pay as lifnim mishuras hadin , but if she is exempt halachically you certainly shouldn't approach her.
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Ima'la




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 5:10 am
It could be immaturity. When I was her age, if something like that had happened to me, I probably would have been too scared/embarrassed to say anything, even though that would have been the right thing to do.
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HindaRochel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 5:34 am
She might not have known she broke it, she might have simply thought it was already broken.

How did she force the window pane? How do you know she had done so?
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Mevater




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 9:26 am
I'd not tell anyone. Prob. the girl is very embarassed and if she hears it's been repeated will probably never want to babysit again and will break her confidence. Put yourself in her place, a couple of years back.

Now, if you know she wanted to cause you damage on purpose, that's different.
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Cinderella




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 22 2007, 3:09 pm
greenfire wrote:
once when my son was like 4ish he told my sister to go home because she broke some crystal wine cups ...


LOL! Did she leave?
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EsaEinai




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 18 2007, 1:47 am
I wouldnt say anything. as many women mentioned above, it could have broken as a result of natural wear and tear, or been a complete accident that she had no control over. either way, id imagine that if I accidentally broke something in someones home and was too ashamed to bring it up to them, id certainly be mortified if they mentioned it to me. I dont know the expense of repairing trissim, but its probably cheaper than repairing a relationship or a young girl's self-esteem over this. .
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