Son wants to trim/shave, not our minchag. How is it done?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Pewter

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:43 am

Come from a long line of chasidim and nobody in our family's (men) trim their beards or mustaches. Our middle DS who is bar Mitzvah wants to trim his mustache. Part of the issue I think it he is hairier then his friends as he is in puberty a little before them. I think we are at the point where we are going to allow him to do it. We have tried having him speak to his Rabbi and my DH has spoken to him many times about it.... For those whose DH's and DS's trim/shave what are the "rules?" Do they just use an electric razor so they aren't taking an actual blade to the face? Any "rules" on length? What age do litvish boys usually begin to trim?? There are no school rules as he goes to a mixed OOT school so that is not an issue. I am more worried about him getting a bad taste about religion then him doing this. He is not rebellious in other ways if that makes a difference. I have a feeling as he gets older he may chance his mind and decide to let it grow.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:48 am

My husband uses a scissors to trim his mustache. As an aside he does not trim his beard. I think it might be a less of a deal than you think.

Stars

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:52 am

My husband is as chassidish as they get and he trims his mustache with scissors.

amother

Brunette

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:53 am

Chassidish here and my dh also trims it with a scissor that I bought at a hair cutting supply store.

Iymnok

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:59 am

Regular hair clippers are 100% fine. It's the shavers that can have issues. Rav Moshe is meikel on some.
Everyone agrees that trimming with scissors is fine. Kabbalistically some men never cut at all. Many men trim their mustache since ti can get annoying.

SixOfWands

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 12:02 pm

Electric shaver only. I know that some are OK and some aren't, but I leave that to my husband and sons. I did find this Star-K article for you:

http://www.star-k.org/articles.....vers/

And this

http://www.koshershaver.org/why.htm

return2You

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 12:11 pm

Kol hakavod!

Blessing1

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 1:17 pm

I think most chassidim trim their mustache, we don't see men with mustache hanging down the sides or going into the mouth.

amother

Pewter

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 4:22 pm

Thanks everybody. I don't think he could trim his fuzzy mustache with scissors so I will look into hair trimmers that are halachically OK.

amother

Violet

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 4:27 pm

Not all Chasidim trim their mustache. For those that do the frum/older ones use scissors. Lots of younger people trim the whole mustache short with clippers.

martina

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 4:29 pm

Most chassidim trim their moustaches, there's a kabbalistic reason for it which I can't recall at this moment

amother

Salmon

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 4:46 pm

There are 5 areas a man is not allowed to CUT (I.e. With a razor)
I don't think mustache is part of those 5.
If that's the case then there is NO problem of him trimming his mustache.
Just, when he goes for a haircut, ask the barber to trim him mustache.
My DH does this all the time, we are Lubavitch if that makes a differences.

MitzadSheini

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 4:54 pm

amother wrote:

..... I am more worried about him getting a bad taste about religion then him doing this. He is not rebellious in other ways.......

Good, glad that is your main concern. Because he sounds like he is NOT being rebellious in this matter either, he's just irritated by hair on his mouth- fair enough! As others said a moustache is not one if the five corners of the beard. Just remember what happened when the nachash told Chava she couldn't touch the aitz hadaas, and buy him something so he can cut it when he needs ( which I guessing will be more often than he gets a haircut).

amother

Coral

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 4:58 pm

my dh got hair before anyone in his class. he used hair removal cream for a bit until he felt more comfortable in his own hairy skin.

amother

Red

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 9:13 pm

My husband is litvish. He uses an electric shaver. We got it at a frum store. The frum electronic stores remove the blades for you.

esuss

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:55 pm

As far as I know There is a hallachic difference between shaving a beard / mustache and trimming. You could trim with scissors in other words keeping it to a certain length but if you want to shave not with scissors. Shaving means cutting hairs all the way to skin that you have to use other means like some electric shaver. Call you Rabbi to see what exactly you are allowed to do. Then call a frum owned housewares store and ask them for a shaver that is hallachically acceptable.

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