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Forum
-> Judaism
-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
amother
Beige
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Fri, Feb 10 2017, 2:33 pm
I want to be a rebbetzin. My husband does not want to be a rabbi. This is one of the great sorrows of my life.
There may be some rebbetzins who are not married to rabbis. But I have never met them. Maybe such marriages are just not likely. Or maybe you can only do that if you are exceptionally charismatic. I am not exceptionally charismatic, I am more the quiet thoughtful type, but I would make a good rebbetzin.
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tigerwife
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Fri, Feb 10 2017, 2:35 pm
Why don't you become a teacher? You can also start preparing lectures for the women in your neighborhood. Eventually people will find you if you are warm and kind.
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Jewishmom8
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Sat, Feb 11 2017, 12:00 pm
what about being a rebbetzin is important to you? what does it mean to you? What is holding you back from doing those things.
you do not need to be married to a rabbi to have a spiritual impact on others.
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amother
Orchid
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Sat, Feb 11 2017, 1:37 pm
Do you want the kavod of the title? You will never have that if you chase it.
Do you want to influence others? Then start by working on yourself. Become more compassionate, more giving, more kind, more thoughtful, more educated. A better listener. Most of all, work on your emunah and bitachon.
The rest will follow
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Raisin
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Sat, Feb 11 2017, 6:40 pm
Offer to give classes or learn one on one with women. Also, host on shabbos - maybe seminary girls or single girls or young newly weds. (especially BTs who may not have family)
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UnFarvosNischt
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Sat, Feb 11 2017, 6:45 pm
Start organizing things in your community, open a gmach, organize meals for sick people/new moms.
Invite new comers for shabbos.
I don't know if you will become a rebbetzin but you'll for sure spread positivity around you and it will help tremendously everyone (you included).
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amother
Khaki
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Sun, Feb 12 2017, 12:26 am
As a Rebbetzin, here are some things on my job description that anyone could do.
1. Host. I have guests all the time. Some are enjoyable, some are not. All Are Jewish neshamas who need some love, attention, good meal and a positive Jewish experience.
2. Teach. Organize a monthly shiur, teach in a local school, train to become a kallah teacher. (I do all the above- but choose one that works for your personality.)
3. Pastoral care- it's titled that way in my contract so leaving that here. This means visiting people who are sick in hospital, going to funerals, organizing shiva houses and visiting them often. I bake 5-10 cakes on Friday and drop them off at various people in need for example. Someone whose awaiting a behavioral diagnosis on her child. I know it's stressful for her. So dropped a cake. Someone who has yartziet for her parent who passed away when she was a teenager etc...
organizing and bringing meals when someone moves, has a baby, has a family member in hospital etc..
You can do all the above without the title of Rebbetzin.
Good luck!!
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amother
Amber
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Sun, Feb 12 2017, 10:43 am
ITA with above.
Be in touch with your local rebbetzin about chessed and teaching opportunities. We can always use some help!
-a rebbetzin
P.s. -if you are disappointed that dh is not rabbi material please be assured that rabbis are not perfect human beings. We all need to work on seeing the positive.
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amother
Pearl
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Thu, Apr 20 2017, 10:15 am
Sorry for the stupid question but how does one acquire the title of rebbetzin?
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self-actualization
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Thu, Apr 20 2017, 10:36 am
I know at least 2 "rebbetzins" whose husbands are lawyers, maybe more. I know plenty of women who are amazing speakers and role models whose husbands are not rabbis. Look closely at the next convention advertisement and see the women who are speaking. Many times (most?) their husbands aren't rabbis. It's totally ok like this. In fact Devorah HaNeviah had a layman husband too. And many rabbis have wives that take care of practical things and aren't necessarily powerhouse rebbetzins. I think that a marriage is healthy when there is a division of labor anyway - if both parties are giving to the klal 24/7, then who takes care of the kids and the finances?
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