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Do you like being with your kids
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 7:19 am
1. So we all love our kids and would move worlds for them but do you like them? Do you like spending time with them? Are you happy to see them when they come home from school (and I don't mean that you are good at pretending). Are you happy you had them? Do you laugh with them a lot?

2. Were your parents present and available for you. Did you grow up in a safe and functional home?
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amother




Blonde


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 7:33 am
1. I do enjoy them in small doses. I find weekends and breaks from school very difficult because I don't enjoy them all day long. But I do enjoy the time with them after school. Even though it can get busy with the evening routine, I am relaxed about it and therefore so are they. Even homework isn't a big deal. And it's when I have the best conversations and general fun. I do have one child still home and it's hard. I'm between jobs right now and really hate being a SAHM. I really am better off working.
2. My parents divorced when I was young, but they stayed on good terms and coparented well, so while I obviously didn't have a fully functional home, it wasn't really dysfunctional either. My mom is like me, she had a career because she wasn't the SAHM type. And both parents expected me to entertain myself a lot and didn't lavish so much attention on me- they were both living single parent lives for part of the week, so it can't have been easy. I was their only child. They both had kids in their second marriages but that wasn't till I was a teen. I always felt secure and loved, and they did do a lot of special things with me and we did have a great time doing those things together. Nothing sweeter than memories of going to baseball games with my dad or shopping with my mom.
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 7:52 am
1) yes I love spending time with my children. People who dont, need serious help.

2) I grew up in a very safe and functional home.
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EnnuiGalore









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 8:20 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
1) yes I love spending time with my children. People who dont, need serious help.

2) I grew up in a very safe and functional home.


"People who don't, need serious help."
You never fail to be glib and judgy, mommy3b2c. Seriously. 🙄

Such an immature response.
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 8:45 am
EnnuiGalore wrote:
"People who don't, need serious help."
You never fail to be glib and judgy, mommy3b2c. Seriously. 🙄

Such an immature response.


Not judgy, just honest. And I truly believe that if you don't enjoy your children, get help. That's no way to live. Unfair to you, and way more unfair to them.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 8:50 am
I do.. as long as they aren't being difficult 😂 Seriously, the fighting gets to me big time. But otherwise I do really enjoy them. At least when I'm not feeling especially depressed or anxious, which I do struggle with.

I grew up with some elements of emotional neglect and I'm working very hard to try to raise healthy children.
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amother




Emerald


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:08 am
I enjoy spending time with my kids as long as they're behaving themselves. When they fight it drives me bananas and I just want to go and hide. I prefer to spend time with them individually if possible. This way I don't have to deal with the bickering and I can concentrate on giving attention to each child instead of feeling like I'm being pulled from all sides. Honestly, when they were very young I didn't feel the same way. I'm not really a "baby person". I mean thought they were cute and spent the bulk of my time caring for them but didn't "enjoy" spending times with them in the same way I do now that they have become "people". (Mine are all school age and older now)

I definitely grew up in a safe and functional home. My parents were/are "old school" though. They were the parents and we were/are the children. Always that barrier there. We weren't their "friends" but their children. So I don't feel "close" with my parents emotionally. I love them and am grateful to them for everything but I'm not running to call my mother if something exciting happens. I am trying to create a closer relationship with my own children. Hence the spending time with them individually.
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causemommysaid









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:17 am
I enjoy my kids when they are not whining or fighting.
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ectomorph









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:20 am
Yes X2 which is not to say I never get annoyed by them
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esuss









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 9:24 am
I love being with my children. Wish I could spend more time doing fun things with them.
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EnnuiGalore









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:23 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Not judgy, just honest. And I truly believe that if you don't enjoy your children, get help. That's no way to live. Unfair to you, and way more unfair to them.


I know almost no one that enjoys being with their kids 24/7, but I'll make sure they all get intense psychological intervention so that you can feel even better about yourself.

There are ways to say things, and ways not to say things. You might not have figured this out yet.
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amother




Sapphire


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:28 am
1) I do love spending time with my kids. If my kid goes to a friend's house from school, I miss them.
I do often think I had them to early 3+ years after marriage. Not by choice. Pretty obvious that Hashem knew what he was doing.
But I never regret having them.

2) absolutely not.
I grew up in a disfunctional abusive and dglectful family.
I'm healing. And trying to parent the best I can. Books and workshops are costly and they pay!

I think if a parent doesn't enjoy spending time with their kids, there are things that need to change.

Mommy3b2c, sometimes children can be very difficult. Mental health issues, developmental issues, behavioral issues, medical issues....
A parent can love a child and do all there is to do help thte child, but that parent can still not enjoy spending time with crazy.
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:29 am
EnnuiGalore wrote:
I know almost no one that enjoys being with their kids 24/7, but I'll make sure they all get intense psychological intervention so that you can feel even better about yourself.

There are ways to say things, and ways not to say things. You might not have figured this out yet.


I don't believe I said you need to enjoy spending time with them 24/7. The op asked if people like their children and enjoy being with them. People who don't like their children should get help. I am really not sure why you got so offended. Do you not like your children? If you do, then my post wasn't directed toward you. If you don't, get help. My sincerest apologies for whatever I said that rubbed you the wrong way.
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mha3484









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:31 am
I really do enjoy being with my children. My oldest is not easy but I get a lot of nachas from seeing him grow into a person. I think me going to work and them going to school helps me appreciate them more. We are not on top of each other 24/7. I joke about wine a lot if your my friend IRL. I would not trade it for anything in the world.
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amother




Yellow


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:33 am
I tremendously enjoy being with my children when it's one on one.... which sadly doesn't happen enough. When I'm with all of them as a group - the answer is sometimes. There are times when everyone is happy and behaving well and we all have a great time. There are times where each of them has flown off the rails and I want to escape them so badly. Mostly it's somewhere in the middle.

Yes, I came from a functional home with available parents - but it was easier for them. There were only two of us kids spaced 6 years apart.
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FranticFrummie









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:36 am
I have an different perspective than most of you. After 20 years of infertility and heartache, I was finally able to adopt DD.

Even when she is the most horrible, difficult, whiny, and even hateful, little monster - I just look at her face, and realize what a miracle it is that she's here. I may not like the way she is acting, but I am SO grateful to be her mom.

She's not living with me right now, and I'd give anything to have her following me around, saying "I'm bored! There's nothing to eat!" or even telling me for the millionth time about Minecraft or her latest anime obsession.

The emptiness is excruciating.
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EnnuiGalore









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 11:01 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
I don't believe I said you need to enjoy spending time with them 24/7. The op asked if people like their children and enjoy being with them. People who don't like their children should get help. I am really not sure why you got so offended. Do you not like your children? If you do, then my post wasn't directed toward you. If you don't, get help. My sincerest apologies for whatever I said that rubbed you the wrong way.


You're really not sure which part of your response didn't sound so nice? I give up. 🙄
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 11:02 am
EnnuiGalore wrote:
You're really not sure which part of your response didn't sound so nice? I give up. 🙄


Would you mind responding to the OP. Thanks.
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amother




Ruby


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 11:09 am
Yes. I love spending time with them. I have 5 kids, 11 - 1
I don't know that I'd want to homeschool them or have patience for it or have them home with me 24\7 - but I love when they are with me.
I love going on vacation with them. I love seeing the look on their face when they see something for the first time. I love spending evenings with them and yomim tovim - having them help me in the kitchen, going on chol hamoed trips and spending time at the table (not too say I wasn't happy for them to get back to school and routine after).
I love long Sundays in the summer when they have off of school and we can go exploring. Its great seeing the world through their eyes.

The one thing I don't have patience for is games with younger kids. I like playing games with my 'older kids' but I just don't have patience for candy land and those types - b'H my DH is happy to step in and play those.
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saw50st8









  


Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 11:10 am
I love spending time with my kids, but they don't always get me at my best. By the time I pick them up from after care, I've been up for 13 hours and I'm already exhausted. My kids are fun, awesome people. I hate the fighting and the pettiness and the sibling rivalry, but I recognize that it's a part of learning about the world. No one understands your own personal dysfunction quite like your siblings, because they grew up in a similar environment (most of the time).

My mother was amazing. She was always present for us, even as a busy single mom. She's really super mom. She made us all feel like we were the favorite child Smile
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